NEVER get onto a plane
by lagomorph
Summary: SATIRE!!!! MARY SUE PARODY!!!!!!!!! No Mia. No Yuli. Presumably. Trouble starts when two smart-ass North Americans take a wrong plane and end up at the wrong place, wrong time. Follows RW storyline, but not. A CAUTION on the language.
1. PLEASE read first!

OK, just a few things to mention to the people hopping on the "plane" bandwagon ^__^+.  
  
First, this fic is co-written between myself, the great lagomorph, and the just-as-great-yet-slightly-older Neo.  
  
Second, just to limit our allotment of stupid comments, we KNOW our RW. We KNOW the actual Japanese show was called Yoroiden Samurai Troopers. We KNOW Sage's real name was Seiji. We KNOW 6 x 4 - 10 = 96.  
  
So basically, this fic is supposed to be amusing (well, at least we think it is). We wrote it because we had too much spare time on our hands and it just seemed like a good idea at the time. It is SUPPOSED to be making fun of run-of-the-mill mary sues and the characters (not maliciously, we love the boys and bishie warlords.....yes, even Cale). We write for our own enjoyment and have been long before I've even heard of ff.net, so even though reviews are greatly appreciated and well-received by us, we aren't going to put up the old "plz review or I won't put up the next chappie! Tee hee tee hee *goes off and bangs head on wall*" because once again, we write for our own amusement.  
  
With all that crap in mind, do enjoy  
  
Oh, and if I forget to put em up, I'm just gonna say that I really don't own a whole hell of a lot; henceforth I don't own Ronin Warriors, Victoria Secret, Skittles, Allen Schezar (but da-amn that would be nice), horrible pop music, Bob Barker, McDonalds, or pretty much anything I mention, and same goes for Neo. They all belong to the people that made them up, or whatever. I think we're all smart enough to realize that, so I'll just skidaddle on outta here and let you all read.. 


	2. In the beginning

Author's Notes: Ok! Neo took it upon herself to re-edit this chapter, and I just had to give her a pat on the back for it, so enjoy! Disclaimer: We don't own RW, Digimon, Bowl of Rice, Starbucks. Deal with it. **************************************************************************** ******************************************  
  
Never Get On A Plane Unless You Know EXACTLY Where You're Going  
  
Chapter 1  
  
A 16 year-old girl with dark silver hair stood in the middle of the ridiculously crowed airport holding onto her black bag for dear life. Another person shoved her to her knees, making her drop, of course, everything. Grunting, she rubbed her head and tried to find the unlucky bastard that knocked her over. "Why I gotta good mind to..." she stopped suddenly as she noticed that her bag had been kicked several feet. With an angry growl, she weaved her way through the mass of people, trying to reach her bag. She let out a louder growl as some guy kicked it farther. She smiled as she stuck out her leg, making him fall over, but it created a domino effect that reached twenty feet out. Person after person fell over each other, shrieks and screams emitting from them. Everyone in the lobby stopped and looked at the mound of bodies and one girl standing in the midst of it.  
  
"Heh...uhh...I found my bag, so...IthinkI'llbegoingnowsobye!" She blurted out as she grabbed her bag and hauled ass before security got there. She reached the ticket booth and reached into her bag, pulling out a crumpled plane ticket.  
  
The woman behind the desk smiled a smile that seemed a little too happy. "Name please?"  
  
The young girl looked at her suspiciously, wondering if there were crack in that mocha java of hers. "Rain McCreedy."  
  
Rain placed her black bag on the counter and the primpy ticket agent grabbed it and threw it on the out of sight weigher. Rain winced at the roughness she was using with her precious cargo. "PLEASE be a lil' more careful, k?"  
  
The girl gave a fake smile and gave Rain the carry on black bag back. She then took Rain's ticket and punched in some numbers into her outdated computer, obviously not paying much attention to anything other than the cute blonde clerk who worked beside her. Giving another smile to Barbie's hubby Ken, she gave a peeved Rain her stub. Not bothering to be nice, Rain grabbed her bag and walked to the plane. Hauling her large duffel bag into the unnecessarily smaller overhead compartment, she mumbled, "Carry on bag, my ass." Plopping herself down, she looked around to see many Asians aboard her plane. 'Hmm...maybe there's some Asian seminar in New York or something,' she mused. Rain became giddy as she remembered that she was meeting her online best friend in a few hours. 'Few...that's a laugh.' Louisiana to New York was NOT going to be fun.  
  
The pilot came on the intercom, but he either the intercom was screwed, or he was disoriented. She was hoping it wasn't the later one. He seemed to talk in a different language. Rain tensed quickly as she recognized the language. 'Could it be? I don't friggin THINK SO!!!! SEMINAR MY ASS!!' A quick glance to her bag made her notice the name "Chi Wong" written on it. Rain hurriedly tried to unbuckle her seat belt, but it did not want to cooperate. "Get offa me you sonofabitch!! Leggo!!!" A few passengers gave her some strange looks, but she ignored then and continued her fight with the seat belt. She plane's engine revved up and beads of sweat trickled on her forehead. The plane began to move ever so slowly, then began to pick up speed. Rain looked out the window to see the ground going away from her.  
  
"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed, face up against the glass. "I DON'T WANNA GO TO JAPAN!!!"  
  
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A girl with long yellow hair, a short dress, and fuzzy pink boots stood whimpering in the lobby of the Toronto Airport as her parents disappeared around the corner. She was leaving her beloved Canada and going to New York City...by herself. She was finally going to meet the girl she had become good friends with over the internet.  
  
Nervously, she pulled out a mirror. All this excitement was messing up her all-to-perfect hair. "Oh I wish I brought more mascara...what if I run out? And can't find MY brand!!" She thought with fear in her eyes. "What if...a cute guy sees me...without make-up??!!!"  
  
Suddenly she was startled out of her internal nightmare by an Asian man. The impact was enough to send hers and the man's baggage everywhere. After a few minutes of rushing to gather her things and hissing nasty words at the group of eyes that watched her, she stopped. "Oh...shit! My passport!" she shrieked in despair.  
  
"Crap crap CRAP!!!!!!" Then she noticed the white slip near her ankle. Quickly, she snatched it up and ran towards the desk.  
  
The lady at the counter took the ticket and typed something in. "Hi! May I please ask what your name is?!"  
  
This perky woman was REALLY scaring her. "Amariie Cordelia Maethros," she whispered, careful not to spite the perkiness.  
  
"OK! Go to the aisle on your left please. NEXT!" Someone needed to lay off that Starbucks special blend...  
  
Amariie ran over through the aisle and onto the plane. She passed many a passenger and found her seat. "Luckily, I'm in first class," she said to herself with her nose in the air. She sat down in a red luxury seat as the plane started to take off. Suddenly the stewardess appeared.  
  
Feeling impatient, she decided to strike up one of those fake conversations. "Excuse me! What time do you think we will arrive in New York?" she asked while pulling off an excellent Legally Blonde impression.  
  
The lady laughed. "Funny! New York! hehehe! Well we will be arriving in Toyama at probably...oh, I'm not sure. It will be maybe...ten-fifteen hours?"  
  
"Toyama?! What the hell is a toyama?!" Amariie scoffed at the laughing stewardess, thinking a toyama was a formation of toaster ovens.  
  
"Toyama, Japan," she said a-matter-of-factly before disappearing through the aisle curtains. Blondie stared at the spot the woman was standing for a few minutes in total shock. She moved her eyes over the crowd around her, seeing Asians as far as the eye could see.  
  
"Holy shit...Don't EVEN tell me...GODDAMMIT! I don't have NEARLY enough clothes for JAPAN! Hmm...I heard they have hot guys...what am I saying?? I'm going to FUCKING JAPAN!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!!!!  
  
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By the time the plane finally landed...twenty hours later, Rain was severely suffering from something God created called jet lag. Rain couldn't get any sleep on the plane; she was just one of those people who couldn't sleep on a moving vehicle. The stewardess came down the aisle and spoke some Japanese. Rain didn't care if she was saying there is a bomb filled with gas from Billy Bob's farts and about to explode under her seat. She wasn't in a good humor right then. Rain looked out the window to see a rather large city below her. With a grunt, she prepared for the landing.  
  
When the plane touched down, she got out of her seat and yanked her bag down, causing several other passengers' bags to come along. Rain took her bag and ignored the people cursing in Japanese at her. She promptly flipped them off, quite sure all countries recognized it. With bloodshot eyes and a heavy bag over her shoulder, Rain made her way to customs.  
  
Seeing a large trash bin, she made her way to it and flipped the large duffel bag over the top. "Thanks a fucking lot, Mr. Chi Wong." She tried to read some kanji on a few signs, but the most she got out of it was one of the characters looked like her Aunt Sophia. She shrugged and walked up to a random desk using "eeny meenie." A man with a weird looking suit looked up at her and smiled, but quickly faded as she growled in return. Fearing his life right then, he put on a fake smile.  
  
"Oohayo! Ogenki dess ka?"  
  
Rain raised an eyebrow at the short man. "Uh...No speaka Japanesea!  
  
"Nani?"  
  
Rain spoke more loudly and slowly. "NO...SPEAKA...JAPANESEA!"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"Don't you 'nani' me! Can. I. Speak. To. Someone. Who. Speaks. English?"  
  
The clerk was clearly not enjoying her company. "At-chi e it-te!"  
  
Rain became mad. "Look Mr. Bowl of Rice, I need someone who speaks English!"  
  
The clerk said a line of non-polite Japanese words to her. Rain leaned on her elbow on the countertop. "You see, this is why our countries didn't get along for so long."  
  
The clerk said some more in Japanese and pointed her to a line with no Asian people. Rain grabbed her bag and muttered some bad things about Japanese people not being able to speak right. She pulled out a small picture of her online best friend from her pocket. "Well, so much for meeting ya," she said with a sigh and shoved it back into her pocket. After she was done arguing with ANOTHER Japanese in that line, she made her way into the middle of the lobby and gazed around. "Crap. Now where am I gonna go?" With a sigh, she started to walk around the airport to find a telephone to call a cab or something.  
  
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Amariie opened her eyes and shifted her weight in the comfy plush seat. "I wonder how long I've been sleeping..." She took out her mirror and examined her face. "Hmmmmm no bags...must have been a while..." she murmured.  
  
Suddenly a Japanese voice came on over the P.A. system. She somehow got the feeling that the plane was going to land, so she adjusted the strap of her purse (make-up filled, of course) and grabbed her 2 suitcases: one with clothes and the other, much heavier, filled with make-up and girly accessories. With an uncomfortably bump the plane landed and stopped. Amariie wormed her way to the door and squeezed out.  
  
Bimbo looked around the spacious lobby crammed with people. Feeling completely alone and just plain screwed, she said, "I can't believe I'm stuck in Japan thousands of miles away from my beloved Canada. Oh CRAP! Rain's gonna kill me!" Plopping her baggage next to her, she proceeded to sink to the shiny floor and, well, cry.  
  
She was startled out of her crying spree by a tap on the shoulder. Amariie looked up to find a miffed Japanese woman talking to her in the uncomprehendable tongue known as Japanese.  
  
"Sorry, I don't know what your saying!" Amariie squeaked through sobs.  
  
"I said-You are in the way!" the lady snapped in a broken English.  
  
Amariie wasn't about to be bitched at by some stranger. Narrowing her eyes, she stood up, finding herself a bit taller than the woman before her.  
  
The woman shifted impatiently. "Hello! Are you going to move? Tsk tsk... You Americans, all alike.." the woman growled.  
  
Amariie turned a deep scarlet, "YOU HOSER!!! I am NOT an American. I am CANADIAN! And I will NOT move so piss off!"  
  
The woman, caught by surprise, widened her eyes and backed off.  
  
Amariie looked around and saw practically everyone staring at her, so she did the only sensible teenage thing to do...go cry in the bathroom.  
  
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Rainey wandered aimlessly down a long stretch of the airport maze, a pissed off look on her face. She saw a payphone to her right and ran to it. 'I should call the folks...they'll go berserk. Oh well, better sooner than later.' Rain took the phone and put some change in...well, A LOT of change in. Soon, a soft ringing came from the other end. A click was heard and a masculine voice came on.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Dad?"  
  
"Rain, is that you? Where the hell are you?! You should have been in New York hours ago!"  
  
"Uh...there was a mishap on the plane..."  
  
"What?! Are you ok?!"  
  
"Yeah I'm fine. I'm...I'm in...Japan."  
  
"WHAT??!?!?!"  
  
"I'm in Japan. I accidentally took the wrong plane."  
  
"HOW THE HELL DO YOU TAKE THE WRONG PLANE?!??!"  
  
Rain's father went onto a rage and she had to take her ear away from the phone so she wouldn't go deaf. She winced as he carried onto more yelling. 'I guess later was better than sooner. Oh well.' Rain reached into her pocket and found nothing. 'OH NO!' She fumbled through all the pockets and couldn't find her wallet anywhere. Her silver/green eyes dashed everywhere and landed on a young man walking quickly away from her.  
  
"STOP! Uhh...EL STOPO!!"  
  
The young man took off in a dash as Rain dropped the phone, her father's yelling STILL going on. Rain yelled vile curses towards the guy in the bright red jacket ahead of her, like that would help. She shoved and pushed her way past several people, making them fall on the ground. The man with her wallet ran down an escalator, but Rain jumped onto the middle section and slid down fifty feet. When she got to the bottom, the young man had already gotten off the escalator and was running again. Rain spotted the red jacket he was wearing and took of towards it. He dashed into a women's bathroom with Rain closing in on him. Nonchalantly, she opened the door and stepped inside. Seeing no one, her gaze went to the stalls and she smiled as she looked under each one for a pair of feet. She spotted a small pair and quietly stood in front of it.  
  
"Give up now or so help me god I will kick your ass royally."  
  
All she heard was a whimper and she tore open the door to find a yellow- headed girl crying on the toilet seat.  
  
Amariie looked up to see a very miffed looking girl glaring at her. She did a double take. Some girl just ran into her stall...what if she happened to be using the toilet for something other than a chair? She glared back at the hazy figure through blurred eyes.  
  
"EWW YOU PEEPING TOM!! PERVERT!!! LESBIAN!!!! OMFG!!!! How DARE you intrude in my crying time!!!" she shrieked.  
  
Rain was ready to bitch this girl out when she did also a double take. She dove her hand into her pocket, snatching the small picture and comparing it with the bezerk brat girl. "You...You're Amariie! The girl from Toronto!" she said in disbelief.  
  
Amariie wiped at her tears and looked at the non-Japanese girl with dark silver hair. "R-Rain?"  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! AMARIIE!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"EEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKK RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The girls started jumping up and down screaming like lunatics, hugging each other madly. After about 20 minutes they stopped.  
  
Rain reached talking mode first and held Amariie at arm's length. "Wait. How did you end up in Japan?"  
  
"How did YOU end up in Japan?" Amariie countered, eyes narrowed.  
  
"Umm we'll skip this. Its a long story..."  
  
"Ditto."  
  
Like a big fat Bubba hitting them over the head with a salmon, the girls' minds clicked.  
  
"MY BAGGAGE!!"  
  
"MY WALLET!"  
  
They dashed out of the bathroom and into the recently desolated lobby. Amariie's baggage was NOWHERE in sight. Rain looked around the lobby to see no guy with a red jacket.  
  
"We're screwed," Rain stated brilliantly.  
  
Amariie clutched on to the strap of her pink fuzzy purse (which matches her boots ^_^). "You are all I have left...My hairdryer, my pretty yellow boots.... my shiny silver JACKET, ALL GONE!!!!!!" she burst into tears.  
  
Rain crossed her arms and sneered. "Shut up Mimi."  
  
Amariie turned and smacked her upside the head. "Bite me!"  
  
The girls got in a bitch fight that had no ending in the near future. Suddenly, everything with electricity stopped and a shadow spread over the city. 


	3. Right after the beginning

Author's Notes: Re-edited, one part chapter 2! Go Neo (she gets shafted with the crappy job ^__~)  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own RW or Blackadder, and we envy the lucky bastards who do. **************************************************************************** ******************************************  
  
"Slut!"  
  
"Tomboy!"  
  
"Prissy!"  
  
"Crackhead!"  
  
The two girls' argument increased even though all the lights in the airport went out and the people around them were becoming obviously nervous. Rain shoved her hand over Amariie's mouth before another rude comment flew out. Turning her head around, she saw stampedes of people rushing through all the doors. She grabbed Amariie and dragged her outside to get an idea on what was going on. The streets surrounding them became desolate as the last civilian fled the scene.  
  
"Ummmmmm, just what the fuck is going on?" Rain asked to no one in general.  
  
Amariie turned to face her, "Just how the hell am I supposed to know?!"  
  
Just then a strange little man ran up to them from out of nowhere. He had about 4 teeth, long scraggly brown hair and was wearing some kind of rags from the Shakespearian era. He started skipping around the girls. (1)  
  
"Ohhhhh. It's so cold! The goblins are striking! Pity poor Tom, has no place to sleep. Ohhhhh the goblins!" the little man started pawing at Rain's arm. This caused them to promptly run away screaming.  
  
"Pedophile! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" both girls shrieked and ran away. When they stopped to catch their breath, they realized they ran into a clearing where a girl with long black hair was wearing some sort of red bikini. Standing next to her was an unnaturally large white tiger, growling lowly. In front of them was a bigger metal thingy that held a chain in its hands.  
  
"Am I the one you're after? Face me!" the mouthless, faceless metal stormtrooper drop-out said loudly.  
  
"I am Ryo...of the Wildfire!" the girl called out, using exaggerated hand motions.  
  
This "Ryo" character charged forward, but the metal guy whipped his chain and smacked Ryo with it, resulting in her sailing through the air, then getting knocked onto her ass. A view of the red bikini wearing person's face made Rain and Amariie realize that "Ryo" was actually a guy and he wasn't really wearing a red bikini (although that'd be pretty funny).  
  
Rain began laughing at their realization of a certain gender, in which Amariie smacked her upside the head. The sudden movements and noise caught the creature's attention. It turned to face the two girls.  
  
"SEE WHAT YOU DID?!" Amariie screeched, not wanting to become the metal guy's dinner and again smacking a sore Rain.  
  
"This was a private matter, but as long as you're just standing there..." it said then quickly flung its chain at bitch #1 and bitch #2. Rain ducked instantly, but Amariie's reflexes were unfortunately a bit slower. The chain coiled around her small body and before it could register in her brain, she was being dragged towards the trashcan wannabe.  
  
Amariie scowled at her present situation. "Listen, Tin Man, if you don't let me go right now, you are going to have a MAJOR lawsuit on your hands. My Daddy knows this mean-ass lawy... EEEEKKKKK!!" before finishing her statement the chain tightened, resulting in one of her annoying high- pitched squeals.  
  
The *ahem* boy clutched his fist. "Hey Dynasty creep! Let her go!"  
  
The white tiger pounced forward, but was hit in the face with the other end of the chain. Next, the Ryo girl...I mean guy ran towards them, but was knocked on his ass, yet again.  
  
Rain, standing at the sidelines, rolled her eyes. "God, you wuss, get off your ass! You are one sad excuse for a hero!"  
  
The Tin Man laughed and threw his chain-thing at Ryo once again. Ryo, unable to get out of the way, just raised his arm in defense (which, might I add, is useless).  
  
Suddenly, out of absolute nowhere, a different guy jumped in front of Ryo, blocking the chain. He had the same kind of tight skin suit on, but instead of red like Ryo's, it was a dark blue color. "Aren't you going to introduce us to your friend?" he said to Ryo in an annoying, fake New Yorkish accent that made everyone around them shudder with disgust. He then turned his face towards the big meanie. "I'm Rowen of the armor Strata. This is my friend, heads up!"  
  
On cue, a fat guy with bad hair and an orange suit on jumped out into the clearing. "Hey buddy, looking for me? I'm Kento, of the Hardrock! Justice is..." he didn't have time to continue.  
  
Rain interrupted him with steam practically coming out of her ears. "Listen, no one gives a flying frick if you are a hardrock or anything. My friend is kinda held hostage so if you would kindly get done with the introduction speeches, it would be REALLY nice of you if you would HELP HER like REAL superhero macho guys do!"  
  
The three boys stood staring at her dumbly as two more jumped from nearby rooftops, not uttering a word.  
  
Amariie lifted an eyebrow. "How the hell did you do that??"  
  
The creature shook its head. "Ummm, ummmm, oh yeah! I remember! *Ahem* Hahaha I will destroy you Ronin Warriors!"  
  
"Ronin Warriors?!" Amariie and Rain yelped at the same time.  
  
Kento smiled proudly and pointed to himself. "That's us!"  
  
A guy with crazy blonde hair looked up, "We were chosen to protect the mortal world from the evil Dynasty. Oh, and by the way, I'm Sage...and I'm single," he said ending with a wink.  
  
Rain groaned and Amariie rolled her eyes. "Well, we're screwed."  
  
The metal guy grew impatient and stomped his foot like a toddler with a temper tantrum. "Guys, stop ignoring me!" it said in a whiny voice.  
  
The "Ronin Warriors" along with the kittie circled the stormtrooper and attacked, yet ended up with their asses to the cement and in a daze. They looked to one another, wondering what to do next.  
  
"Bwwwwaaaaaahahahahahahaha! Looks like I've defeated you, Ronins!" the metal guy cried triumphantly, shaking the in-hand Amariie around like a doll.  
  
"I'm soooo gonna puke!" she squealed as she was thrown to the left some more.  
  
Rain walked a bit closer and cocked her head. "Saaaayyy, were you ever made fun of as a child?"  
  
Suddenly, the metal creature grew silent and avoided all eye contact. "Erm...Course not! I don't know what YOU're talking about! Having greasy hair and pimples were the cool things back in the day!"  
  
Rain snorted. "And I'll bet your mother even made you wear flood pants up to high school," she snickered. Oooo this was too fun.  
  
He then dropped the bundled Amariie and fell to his knees, bursting into tears. "They never wanted me on their team in dodgeball!" he cried out.  
  
Amariie made a VERY irritated growl as she hit the pavement. "Gee...thanks Rainey.  
  
The Ronins gathered together and probably figured, 'Hey! We have armor!' So getting in the professional position of transformation, they all shouted simultaneously the words that would stick with them forever.  
  
"Armour of Hardrock, Tao Gi!"  
  
"Armour of Torrent, Tao Shin!"  
  
"Armour of Strata, Tao Inochi!"  
  
"Armour of Halo, Tao Chi!"  
  
"Armour of Wildfire, Tao Jin!"  
  
In the midst of flying flower petals and toilet paper, the girls stared at them with eyes a bit wider than usual.  
  
"What..." Amariie began.  
  
"...the hell?" Rain finished.  
  
"Are they like, digivolving, or something?" Amariie asked to a distant Rain.  
  
Rain gave a sideways glance to her ditzy friend, "Uhh, 'ariie...I think you watch to much cartoons..."  
  
After a minute of swirling, the spectacle finished. The five boys stood in shiny modern-samurai armor, each a different color and with a different weapon.  
  
"EEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!! They look like skittles!" Amariie squealed in happiness.  
  
Metal Guy wiped his eyes of tears and prepared for battle. At once, all five of the skittle squad charge at their enemy, the tiger backing them up. Weapons were spinning and an occasional Ronin went flying. At first it seems as though the big metal guy was winning, but then a peeved Ryo quickly joined the ends of his katanas together. The other four immediately backed off together as Ryo jumped REALLY high, Metal Guy gazing up confused.  
  
"FFFFFLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP, NOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!" Ryo screamed hoarsely.  
  
"Yaaaaaa! Go Metalryomon! Kick his ass!" Amariie cheered, although her arms still were bound. Seeing that Ryo was going to hit the thing standing next to her, she hopped off towards Rain.  
  
A blinding flash of light came followed by a huge explosion, which shook the ground. When the light finally faded, Mr. Trash Can was gone and the chain around Amariie was blown into the air. Behind Amariie was a bigass split down the middle of a rather large building.  
  
"Sweet ass! Good job boys!" Rain shouted, walking towards Ryo and the others.  
  
"Yeah, the way you changed into your armor-stuff, it was like, it was from an 80's anime show!!" Amariie giggled, following Rain.  
  
The Ronins chuckled a bit as they re-grouped.  
  
"Anime... hahaha, good one 'ariie!" Rain snickered.  
  
Tin Can's chain, which was blown into the sky courtesy of Ryo, was caught by another armored hand. The owner of the hand was standing on the edge of the building the seven below were near to. Maniacal laughter greeted their ears as they saw who was standing above them.  
  
"I've been watching your battle carefully Ronins. You barely won! You're all VERY weak!" the figured called downwards. It was also clad in a similar but more advanced armor than the thing they recently fought. Over its torso was a yellowish robe to add to the effect.  
  
Amariie looked up squinting. "Ewwww peeping tom! Get a life!" she sneered.  
  
"Who are you?" Ryo yelled upwards. Suddenly three other figures came into focus behind the laughing psychopath.  
  
The armored figure smiled. "We, small boy, are the fou..."  
  
Rain interrupted him and said to Amariie, "Ooooo, I like his voice."  
  
"*ahem* We are the four dar..."  
  
Amariie smiled back. "I like it too. It's nifty."  
  
The figured scowled. "We. Are. The. Four. Dark..."  
  
"Nifty? You've been hanging around Melissa too long."  
  
"We..."  
  
"Melissa? Isn't it Joanna who says 'nifty'?"  
  
"W..."  
  
"No no no, it's definitly Melissa..."  
  
"SHUT THE HELL UP!! I AM TRYING TO DO AN IMPORTANT ENTER-THE-VILLIANS SPEECH AND YOU'RE PISSING ON IT! DO YOU MIND?!?!" the figure screamed, his voice echoing through the empty city. Both girls clamped their mouths shut. Ryo snorted with amusement at how quickly Amariie went quiet.  
  
"K thanks," the figure said. "As I was saying. We, small boy, are the four dark warlords who serve the Emperor Talpa. I am their leader Anubis, Master of Cruelty," he hissed.  
  
"I am Cale, Warlord of Corruption," a whiny voice came from the guy with ugly brown and red armor.  
  
"I'm Sekhmet, Warlord of Venom," a nasty, globby voice matched its nasty snakeish armor.  
  
"And I'm Daaaaaais, Waaaaarl..."  
  
Rain whispered to Amariie. "His is cool, too."  
  
Dais gave Rain a glare that made her close her mouth instantly.  
  
"Shutting up..." Rain looked at the ground.  
  
"I am Daaaaaaaais, Waaaaaaarlord of Illuuuuuuuuuusion," came from the guy in purplish spider-like armor.  
  
From the skies above them came a flash of red lightning. "And I, Ronin Warriors, am Talpa, ruler of the evil Dynasty," said a distant voice, which had a surprisingly Scottish accent.  
  
With another blaze of lightning, the "warlords" vanished and a floating feudal Japanese style castle appeared in the sky, far off in the distance.  
  
The guys sneered, kittie growled, and the girls rolled their eyes. "What a five star cast," Amariie sniffed in her valley-girl manner, and then examined her fingernails.  
  
Rain snorted with amusement at the floating fortress. "What a piece of shit castle! I could pull a better looking one out of my ass!"  
  
Feeling awkward, Sage ran his fingers through his hair and turned to Amariie. "Sooo who are you two?"  
  
Rain's gaze bounced among the lot of them. "Um I'm Rain and this is Amariie."  
  
Blondie smiled largely and put her hands behind her back, leaning forward. "I guess you're stuck with us now," she chuckled.  
  
Sage snuck up next to Amariie and put his arm nonchalantly on her shoulder. "Well that won't be so bad," he said grinning.  
  
Amariie, still smiling, said deadly, "Hey Sage, if you don't want me to rip your hand off, then keep it in your pants."  
  
With that, Sage backed off, blushing. Amariie then walked up to the one with orangish-brown hair and sideburns. She tilted her head to the side. "What's your name?"  
  
He smiled and said, "I'm Cye of the Torrent"  
  
Her eyes widened. "EEEEKKKKKKK!!!! He's got a British accent! That's sooooo cute!" she squealed and started poking him in the cheek.  
  
Rain looked down at the ground, swinging her leg. "I, ummmm, don't know her...."  
  
"Fuck you, bitch!" Amariie shot at Rain.  
  
"Bite me, slut!"  
  
"Go to hell, asshole!"  
  
"Make me, Crackhead!"  
  
Seeing that this would get ugly, the boys broke them up.  
  
**************************************************************************** **************** Author's note: (1) After Rain and Amariie ran off, the creepy shakespearean man fell down a an open gutter grate, drifted down the sewer sysetm, out into open sea and landed on a small uninhabited island in the pacific ocean 4 months later. He then named the island after his pet goat and raised a colony of killer dragonflies, until they planned a mutany and killed him.  
  
Just kidding. 


	4. Skittle squad, unite!

Author's notes: OK, may we present the third revised chapter!!  
  
Disclaimer: Yes, we know we don't own Ronin Warriors. We don't own N*SYNC (thank every deity imaginable for that...) and we don't own crazy Victoria's Secret vending machines either.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********** NEVER get onto a plane unless you know EXACTLY where you are going  
  
Chapter 3  
  
The troop decided it would be best to lay low and stay out of sight, so the best option was the subway. Yaaaay... The boys were randomly scattered about, trying to come up with some sort of something that vaguely resembled an idea. Rain leaned her back against a concrete pillar, sighing once in a while. Amariie was elsewhere, scavenging for food. Ol' Orangey wasn't too happy at the present moment.  
  
"Double cheeseburger...Chili cheese fries...Corndog...Stuff-crust pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, Canadian bacon, meatballs, olives, and extra chee-"  
  
"Will you SHUTTAP!" Rain bellowed, not able to take anymore. "Geez! You would think you could go without food for more than 5 minutes! It's not like you're starving to death, if you know what I mean," she said, pointing at his gut.  
  
Kento glared at her like she was the incarnate of evil...well she probably was but that's beside the point. "Why I got a real good mind to do something not so nice to ya."  
  
Rain narrowed her eyes until they were slits. "Back off tubby."  
  
Her opponent then lunged at her, face red with fury. She only smiled when she saw the Brit grab ahold of him. "Cye! Leggo! I can handle this!" he yelled.  
  
His deep English accent rang through the tunnel. "And you'll do what?! Blow us all to bits? Kento, just relax for a while."  
  
Kento relaxed a bit as Cye let him go. Rain grinned a bit and focused her attention on something more trivial.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------  
  
Amariie's fuzzy boots made a loud clicking sound as she walked down a tunnel, looking for anything that resembled food. Her stomach growled yet again as she turned a corner. After constant bickering from the "Ronins", they had finally let her go...with one of them. The blue haired, blue-eyed guy strolled silently behind her as she looked in ticket booths, hoping for a left over happy meal or something. Amariie's eyes lit up as she saw a line of tall gray boxes in an abandoned subway lobby. She giggled and skipped towards it. Vending machines! The blue one raised his eyebrow in question as to why his new female companion suddenly frolicked off. He poked his head around a corner to see her...hugging a vending machine with a content gleam on her face.  
  
He strode up beside her and said, "You know what you're hugging, right?"  
  
Amariie looked at him, then at the machine. Once she saw what was inside, she backed away slowly. "Um...why does this have underwear in it?"  
  
Rowen remembered she lived thousands and thousands of miles away from here. "Japan has all kinds of vending machines. Surprised?"  
  
"Well I didn't expect to see a Victoria's Secret vending machine..." she said, then walked along the line of machines, passing beer, porno, and comic books until she found a normal one with food and drinks. Rowen strode up beside her as she was picking up a lone quarter.  
  
She examined the backside of it and tossed it down. Seeing a questioning gaze from Rowen, she muttered, "There's no moose on it," and proceeded to sort through her bottomless purse. She was then scared the shit out of when Rowen smashed his armored hand into the vending machine, making glass and goodies scatter around.  
  
"WHAT THE FREAKING HELL?! Are you deliberately trying to give me a heart attack?" Amariie demanded.  
  
Rowen merely grinned at her, then looked off to the side. "You don't need change when I'm around. You know, this one time I-" he stopped when he looked back to see Amariie on the ground, picking up various chips, cokes, and candy bars. Once she stood up, she could barely see over the top.  
  
"Little help would be nice right about now," she said.  
  
Blue boy rolled his eyes, took half the load, and both walked back to the others.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------  
  
A dark room held the presence of four armored beings. One, tall and handsome. Crimson hair falling over his deep catlike green eyes. Another, dark green spiky hair gave him a different quality you do not find in humans. His gleam in his eye making him look like a psychopath. A third, curly hair as white as the moon shining on a clear night falling over his ice blue eye. His other covered by an eye patch from a battle so long ago. The last one with blue hair and a scar seemed nervous for some reason. His whole body quaked and shook. The other three glanced at him from time to time, wondering what the hell was wrong with him.  
  
An evil aura made its presence known in the room as the four armored beings placed their right hand at their chest as a sign of loyalty. The fourth one still seemed restless because he could not keep his body still for a moment. A larger armored being materialized before the others, obviously having a higher authority over the four before him. He then sat on a large, richly decorated throne. As soon as his bum touched the seat, a loud farting sound erupted through the spacious throne room.  
  
Dais's eye went wide and immediately he burst into a snorting laughter, followed by Anubis and Sekhmet.  
  
Talpa slowly reached underneath and pulled out an expired whoopee cushion, then threw it aside, obviously about to have a hissy fit. "WHO," he demanded, causing in the immediate shutting up of the three giggling buffoons.  
  
Anubis spoke up before anyone else could blame him. Even though it was a great idea of his, he didn't want to get fired for it...literally. "It was Sekhmet!"  
  
Sekhmet whipped his head around and growled at the red-head, but before he could open his mouth in protest, Talpa had already shot angry red beams from his eyes at him.  
  
Feeling better about venting, he cleared his throat then began. "Dark Warlords! Welcome to the Dynasty meeting. Dais! Make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And NOT the crunchy peanut butter! That give me hives in the WORST place!"  
  
The white haired one stepped forward. "Yes Talpa!" He quickly disappeared and reappeared with a plate with NON crunchy peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk. "I brought you some milk."  
  
"Is it 2%?"  
  
"We were out. This is skim..."  
  
"ARRRGGGHHH!!!!!" Red beams flew out of his eyes and hit Dais head on, causing the sandwich to fall and milk to splatter everywhere.  
  
"...dammit. Wasted good peanut butter."  
  
The blue haired one shook even more, but Talpa only gave him an unsure glance.  
  
"Anyways...our bake sale last weekend was a huge success. We raised over $500 for Sekhmet's metal treatment."  
  
The blue haired one squeezed his legs together as Talpa eyed him suspiciously. "Cale. Is something wrong?"  
  
Sweat began to gleam on his brow. "N-no Master Talpa! N-n-nothing at all!" Talpa bent down and picked up the smeared sandwich and promptly took a bite. "Now the car wash on the other hand..."  
  
Cale started to slightly jump up and down.  
  
Talpa's body smoked from the heat emitting from his anger. His rage caused him to squeeze his sandwich into a...not so looking like a sandwich thing. Cale gulped. "Cale. If you tell me what's wrong I won't dock your pay for the next month," he said with strain in every word.  
  
Cale's eyes flashed fear of not being able to buy that new Britney Spears CD. "Nothing's wrong, M-master T-t-t-t-talpa. Why would anything be wrong?"  
  
"Hmm...you worry me. Anyways, onto another subject." He motioned to a rather large big screen TV (it pays to be evil-heh) that appeared. On the screen appeared five armored boys along with two young girls. "Now do not underestimate these warr..." Talpa was interrupted by Cale jumping up and down while crossing his legs. "CALE! WHAT THE HELL IS MATTER WITH YOU?!"  
  
"..I gotta go potty..."  
  
Talpa put his head in his hands. "You have ten seconds..."  
  
"Thankyoumastertalpa!" Cale said quickly and made a mad dash to the nearest restroom.  
  
"Why? Why didn't I become a dentist like Talpa Senior? But nooooo, I had to be ruler of the land of mental traumas. No offense Sekhmet. I need a root canal now that I think of it."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------  
  
Once the walking piles of food appeared around the corner, Kento's eyes sparkled with love. He leapt up and gave Amariie the biggest bear hug imaginable. Amariie squeaked when she felt strange arms around her. Calling for backup, she thrust her knee to a rather important part of Kento's anatomy. He slowly fell to the ground, holding his pride.  
  
"Never and I mean NEVER touch me like that again you...you...HENTAI!!!" Amariie screeched.  
  
The form below her wriggled a bit, then rolled over, facing upwards to see Amariie's bitchy expression. "Why does everyone hate me?!" he said loudly, still in a large amount of pain, despite his armor.  
  
"I still wuv you Kento," a voice to the side said sarcastically, followed by a few giggles.  
  
"Oh shut up, Ryo," Kento said back, not bothering to get up.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------  
  
The soft sound of a toilet flushing filled the air of the throne room. Talpa let out a sigh of boredom. Cale always took the longest in the bathroom out of all the warlords. Talpa's eyes drooped and he began to slowly fall to the right. Without warning, the huge wooden door smashed open against the wall. Talpa jerked out of slumber and tried his best to act alert as Cale walked swiftly to join the other four.  
  
Cale situated himself next to Anubis. "We're out of toilet paper. You need to go to the Mortal World and buy some more."  
  
Anubis' eyes went wide. "Me?! I went last time!"  
  
"No you didn't! I did!"  
  
"No! I did!"  
  
"I did."  
  
"I DID!"  
  
"You did."  
  
"You di...dammit Cale!"  
  
Cale flashed a smile of victory and focused his attention on Talpa.  
  
Talpa shifted his weight as the big screen TV came down once again. He pulled a sleek black remote out from under the throne and clicked on the TV. On the screen held the Ronins with two girls.  
  
"*Ahem* Now as I were saying. Never underestimate these warriors."  
  
Dais stepped forward. "Who are the two girls?"  
  
"No clue. But they could be dangerous, so be on guard always. Now leave me. I have work to do," Talpa said while tapping his fingers together.  
  
The warlords looked at each other, then disappeared to their respective chambers. Once they were gone, an apparition appeared. "I hope I'm not too late, Master Talpa. My pedicure ran over time."  
  
Talpa waved his hand to dismiss his excuse. "Badamon, I have a brilliant beyond brilliant plan for getting rid of the Ronins once and for all.  
  
Badamon leaned forward. "And what would that be?"  
  
Talpa's motionless face grinned. "I shall send forth a wicked spell that will transport each Ronin to the spot that represents their armors."  
  
All went quiet.  
  
Badamon blinked, then scratched his chin. "But if you do that, they'll be stronger."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you'll be putting them in their elements."  
  
"So?"  
  
"If you put Wildfire in fire, he'll become stronger."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"..."  
  
~15 minutes later~  
  
"I don't get it," Talpa said while leaning back in his throne.  
  
Badamon sighed loudly and out of thin air came a large screen on stands along with an old time camera. Badamon clicked a button and a movie began playing on the screen. The lights in the room dimmed.  
  
"Why You Shouldn't Put The Ronin Warriors In Their Elements," boomed a fake 1950's man's voice. On the black and white screen showed a little boy about to put a Cye action figure in a tub of water.  
  
The voice boomed again. "Oh no, Timmy. I wouldn't do that if I were you," it said to the boy. The boy looked up, confused. "Putting Cye of the Torrent in water would make him a lot stronger! If you want to kill him, you shouldn't do that." It then showed "Timmy" hanging a Ryo action figure upside down and about to light a cigarette lighter underneath it. "No, no, Timmy. Just like putting Cye of the Torrent in water, you can't put Ryo of the Wildfire in fire or he'll get stronger!"  
  
Timmy then gave a smile and threw Ryo aside. "Good boy, Timmy. You're on your way to becoming emperor of the woooorld!" the voice said.  
  
:lights turn on and equipment disappear:  
  
Badamon looked at Talpa. "So NOW do you get it?"  
  
"Meh. That movie sucked! No Oscars for that one," Talpa said, crossing his legs. "Oh um...what was the question?"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------  
  
~"You've might been hurt babe, that ain't no lie, seen them all come and go.."~ Amariie sang along with her discman, which came from her small (yea sure) purse.  
  
Twitching with annoyance beside her was Rain and Ryo. Munching happily on the remaining crumbs in the corner of a potato chip bag was Kento. Sitting across the clearing on a subway bench with Kento was Rowen, Sage, and the Brit.  
  
Cye narrowed his eyes at Kento. "Shut your mouth when you chew."  
  
Kento chewed some more.  
  
"..Kento.."  
  
More chewing.  
  
"KENTO..."  
  
Louder chewing.  
  
"KENTO YOU SLOB, QUIT IT!!!!"  
  
Kento stuck out his chewed-up-food-covered tongue at Cye.  
  
::SMACK::  
  
Kento laid in pain on the ground as Cye looked all to pleased with himself.  
  
~"..you're just, to blind, to see, that in the end you know its gonna be me..."~  
  
"Does she do this often?" Sage asked Rain with curiosity.  
  
Rain nodded her head sadly.  
  
~"..every little thing I do, never seems enough for you, you don't want to loose it again, but I'm not like them. Baby when you finally, get to love someone, that's why, its gonna be me.."~  
  
Ryo shuddered with utter disgust. "I can't stand N*SYNC."  
  
"Either do I, but she sings it good..." Rowen added. He received many blank stares, but he ignored them all.  
  
Suddenly from behind Ryo came White Blaze (Amariie insisted on calling him just kittie since White Blaze was a mouthful) out of the shadows. He walked straight to Rain and Amariie. Rain smiled and patted its head.  
  
Amariie looked down horrified. "EEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THAT MONSTER DOING HERE!!!!!! SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, leaping into the arms of the nearest person, who happened to be Rowen.  
  
Rain flicked off Amariie's earphones. "Ariie, that was the nice tiger from earlier...REMEMBER" she said through clenched teeth.  
  
"Oh yeah...silly me!" Amariie said with a giggle, then hopped down from a blushing Rowen's arms.  
  
Suddenly a loud rumble caused them all to look at Kento, who was still lying on the floor.  
  
"God Kento, you just ate," Sage's scathing remark bounced off the tunnel walls.  
  
"It wasn't me, really!!" the insulted Kento whimpered.  
  
"Don't whine, please, you sound like Amariie." Rain snapped irritably.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Another rumbling sound caused them all to stand alert. Suddenly the ceiling started to crumble as a grappling hook shot through it and landed in the center of the room.  
  
Through the hole they all saw a laughing figure glare at them.  
  
Rain's eyes glittered. 


	5. Boot jelly

Author's note: Yup, this is 4th of the chapters of the fic inwhich you are currently reading. FURTHERMORE, this is the re-edited version to aforementioned fic. Yeah, this puppy was a hard one, but my gal Neo worked her magic (oh, but I had my input.. ::insert evil mage laughter::).  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own RW, or Ritalin, or funky weather systems  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
NEVER get onto a plane unless you know EXACTLY where you're going  
  
Chapter 4  
  
The street above our hero/ines began crumbling away like...erm...tofu! Wait...no...dried bread. Yeah. The grappling hook was pulled back towards its owner with great force. Anubis swung his chain around and above his head, chuckling deeply. The Skittle Squad stood there motionless, in shock at the attack.  
  
Amariie raised an eyebrow and shoved a nearby Sage in the back. "Yo, aren't you supposed to jump up, kick his ass, get in your armor, then kick ass again, kill him, end of story?"  
  
Cye gave a look back to Amariie. "Oh yeah..."  
  
Yet before they could react, Anubis sent the end of his chain soaring down into the underground once more. It flew over their heads, purposely missing them and instead penetrating a large stone slab behind them. Rain was too busy staring at the yummy warlord, so she was oblivious to a concrete pillar about to go crashing into the back of her head. Amariie saw it coming and violently shoved her companion to the ground.  
  
Rain blinked in realization and looked at Amariie. "What-"  
  
"I just saved you bitch! Don't provoke my bitchiness quality," Amariie scoffed.  
  
White Blaze growled and bared his teeth at the almost-assassin while Ryo, looking back at Rain for a moment, yelled, "Hey! Why pick on them when you can have a real battle?"  
  
The stone attached to Anubis' chain smashed into the wall besides Ryo, causing him to hit the deck. "Well I am WAITING for you dumbasses to come attack me, no da," said carrot-top while leaning on one leg, his armored hand on his hip.  
  
Rowen and Ryo exchanged looks and both nodded. Rowen called to his friends, "Form the circle!" All gave some sort of agreement and began, surprisingly, to run in a circle around Rain and Amariie.  
  
Amariie looked at the blur of colors. "Yeah, that'll REALLY help the situation. Why not bake some cookies while you're at it."  
  
The boys then stopped around the girls and forced their armors to separate from them, forming a protection pentagram with Rain and Blondie in the center. Anubis merely stood above them and why he never attacked during this period, we'll never know.  
  
El Roninos wasted no more time and leapt up to street level (again with the defying gravity shit) to meet the patient warrior before them. Only Rowen stayed behind for a moment in his subarmor. He looked at the two girls. "You two stay here. The circle will use our armors to protect you," he said seriously and turned to join his comrades.  
  
Amariie, getting a weird tingly feeling in her stomach, shot out to grab Rowen's arm, but unfortunately her agility was only a 4, and she tripped and fell...right into his arms. Oh how slick Amariie, we congratulate you. Not. "Err..." she began, stupidity catching up to her for this moment, "Don't die or I'll kick your ass, ok?"  
  
He gave her a smirk and a reassuring squeeze, "Deal." Regaining what little grace she had, she stepped back beside Rain (who had that "way to go Ro" smirk on her lips) and Rowen sprinted off to rejoin his comrades. The dark figure of Anubis stood still as all of the Ronins formed yet another circle around him. Nighttime fog rolled into the streets, making the area seem all the more desolate and empty, except for the six warriors.  
  
Ryo turned his head to the side a bit and narrowed his eyes. "You're Anubis, aren't you?"  
  
Anubis sighed loudly. "Well DUH. Haven't you been following the frickin story?!" When he got a blank look from Wildfire, he leaned on his left foot. "Ok, ok, *ahem* Hahahaha! I will destroy you! And once I do that, I'll make sure I take care of your lil friends," he ended pointing his curved kusari gama towards the deep hole where the girls waited.  
  
Rowen's face turned a scarlet color. "If you touch EITHER of them, I'll make sure you die slowly and painfully," he proclaimed, clenching his fists tightly.  
  
The warlord rolled his eyes. "Well it IS my job, now isn't it? And how do you expect to beat me? You barely killed off ol' Sam the Soldier earlier. Pity."  
  
Tired of listening to Anubis liking the sound of his own voice, everyone attacked at once. Anubis sighed and stood there, not bothering to waste energy on them. He had to go pick up toilet paper at the Stop N' Shop pretty soon. Kento smashed his fist into Anubis' chest, and ended up nearly breaking his knuckles. Ryo and Sage attacked from one side while Cye and Rowen came from the other. Within a second, all four were thrown backwards, Cye holding his knee and Sage trying to re-catch his breath, leaning on White Blaze. Ryo tried to punch him in the face, but Anubis surprised him by grabbing Fireball's outstretched hand and swinging him easily into a nearby wall. Ryo looked up to see the other's fate the same as his.  
  
'Shit, I need a chiropractor,' he thought while standing up, 'We can't hold up too much longer.'  
  
From beneath the street level, Amariie and Rain still waited, only hearing the sound of clanking metal and once in a while seeing the top of someone's head.  
  
Amariie was happily picking out pieces of dirt and pebble from her long hair while Rain sat on the ground, staring at nothing in particular. "This sucks," she stated loudly.  
  
Amariie didn't bother to look at her, but examined a lock of blonde a bit closer. "Tell me about it. I haven't washed my hair in a day! It's gonna get all crappy and greasy, kinda like yours."  
  
"No, I mean the Ron-HEY! I don't have greasy hair!" Rain said while petting her silver tinted hair. "But anyways, I don't think our boys are doing well. We should help them!"  
  
Amariie flipped her newly cleaned hair over her shoulder. "Pssshh yeah uh huh. You must have some sucky-ass memory if you can't recall a few hours ago. Their armored asses can't just be our bodyguard every time we do something stupid," she said while kicking at some random rock.  
  
Rain's eyes turned to surprise. "Armors! We gotta tell them to undo the shield so they can fight!" she exclaimed and rose to her feet.  
  
Blondie gave a questioning look to Rainey. "What armors?"  
  
"The ones they're shielding us with," she explained through clenched teeth and pointing to a translucent image of the Halo armor besides her.  
  
Surprised, she mused, "Oh! Look at that. That'd be a cool lamp in my room."  
  
Rain cupped her hands around her mouth. "HEY GUYS!! PUT ON YOUR ARMORS!!"  
  
Yet Rain was drowned out by the voice of Anubis. He stood amidst the weakened Skittles and raised his kusari gama high. "Quake With..." he began as a whisper. "FEAR!"  
  
Ronins + Kittie stood in surprise, wondering what drug Anubis was on. The long chain rocketed into the cement in front of Ryo. With eyes wide, he shouted to his friends, "Get ready for anything!"  
  
Just as his words left his mouth, the ground beneath them began to quake, well, with fear. Kento grabbed Cye's much smaller body frame for balance, but ended up falling over, yet before they hit the ground, crimson light exploded from the ground and into the skies. One of the beams ran for Kento, catching his fall, but wrapping around him and sending him upwards quite a ways.  
  
"YAAAH!! HIGH! TOO HIGH!" he screamed as he saw the others enjoy the same thing. The physical beams wound around all six, then formed into chains.  
  
Rowen looked around, surprised as hell at their current situation. He tried to grab at the chain that was around his shoulders, but another one slithered around his wrist, making him, as the others, immobile.  
  
The girls looked up to see a few chains over their heads attached to a light post. "Um...what the hell is that?" Amariie asked softly.  
  
"Anubis," Rain answered and turned to her friend. "I think the boys and kittie are screwed. We gotta help now."  
  
Amariie pulled her hair behind her ears. "As long as I don't break a nail, I'm fine."  
  
Rain answered with a smirk and Amariie was about to step outside the protective circle. Just before her foot hit the ground, a gold shaft was shot into the very place she was about to place her foot. Amariie froze. "OMFG if that had hit me, someone would have DIED! MY POOR BOOTS! They've got through enough torture, HAVEN'T THEY?!"  
  
Rain looked at what nearly took off the bitch's big toe as its owner was carrying on with a hissy fit. It was a long, golden staff with an ornamental head with wings and chimes that jingled loudly. She looked up to see where it might have come from. Through the chains, she saw a tiny figure standing atop a visible building.  
  
"Wha-" Rain began, but the staff began clanging louder than necessary. Both girls covered their ears as a bright light began beating from the staff's head. As soon as it came, it was gone and so was the staff. Rain turned around in a circle, seeing the armor images gone.  
  
Above, Sage's face turned to shock. Cye, nearby and hanging nearly upside down, tried to speak, but only got a whisper out. "What is...it, Sage?"  
  
Sage gathered enough breath and shouted as loud as he could. "Ryo! The circle is broken!"  
  
Flambe' painfully tried to turn his head towards Sage, but a chain cutting off air supply held it firmly in place. White Blaze, more towards the ground but also chained up, was busy chewing away at the rusted chains. How? We don't know. Within moments, the chain was broken, causing a chain reaction in the entire web. The five Ronins fell to the ground with a surprised as hell Anubis standing behind them.  
  
Ryo shook off a few broken links. "We can't worry about the girls! Put on your armors, NOW!" he commanded. After the flying petals and toilet paper spectacle, all stood ready in armor.  
  
Anubis was faced with five heavily armored and very pissed warriors. His green eyes flashed fear of being defeated, but was quickly covered by cockiness. He gave his enemies a small smile and lunged towards them. Ryo greeted his forwardness and attacked. Anubis put strength on his side, but Ryo's determination was no match. Ok they fight...and fight some more...lalalala...fight more...punch...kick...  
  
Momentarily out of breath, Ryo and Anubis landed, facing each other and panting like whizzled up sea slugs. They stood there, untimingly (is that a word?) measuring up each other, while a dried wisp of hay rolled by them. Suddenly, Ryo pulled out a gun and fired at Anubis, running swiftly to the right along the building. Anubis, deciding to fuck up the plotline also, pulled out his gun and charged at Ryo. Ryo aimed his West-German Walther P99 and was about to fire when he froze.  
  
"Uhh...time out man. Those spicy Doritos aren't agreeing with me..." With that announcement hanging in the air, Ryo dashed off to the public washrooms (magnificently with running water. Can't have unsanitary conditions). Anubis patiently waited, then suddenly he was pulled out of his vegetable- like state (but ya gotta admit, he'd be one dead sexy vegetable) by a whiny voice. No, not Cale, but more childish and just as annoying.  
  
A young boy with dark hair rolled into view on a skateboard, and right behind him a woman with the UGLIEST, armpit high blue short-things and one of my grandmother's pink shirts. The little twit had high socks, shorts and a sweater.  
  
The boy stopped and gave a stupid smile. "Hey Mia, where's Ryyyyo?" he asked the woman, who had just flicked her hair off of her shoulders.  
  
"I'm not sure Yuli, but I'm pretty sure that we should have been introduced into the plot-line by now." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------The gods, however, were not on the side of Mia and Yuli, and sent forth from the heavens a mighty boot to put an end to their annoyingness. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------  
  
A whistling noise caused the two newcomers to look up, to see... ::squeeeesh!:: a giant boot come down and swish them into jelly.  
  
Oh well.  
  
Ryo came back from the restroom, gave an unsure glance at the giant boot, and continued his battle with Anubis.  
  
Anywho, the other five stood close to Ryo, waiting for the opportune moment for them to jump in. Then at once both fighters jumped in the air, ready for their sure-kills.  
  
Nubis fired first, shouting its name loudly and threw the end of his chain at Ryo's chest. Ryo, not being able to, well, do anything, ended up with his entire chest wrapped with chains. With a new anger inside him, Ryo then focused his big, bad, surekill through the chain. Somehow, this worked, and Nubie-chan only said, "...shit..." then was blown back quite a way. Yup, probably broke a record somewhere. Now by the time, this whole melee ended, Anubis was standing a bit a ways from the group while Ryo was just about dead on the ground.  
  
A small flap of cloth fell from Anubis' armor and he took a deep breath. "I'll have to get Cale to sew this..." he muttered then turned around.  
  
The other five, surrounded their limp leader, who still tried his best to pierce his gaze into the warlord. Anubis checked his watch and grimaced. "I would stay here and kill you all, but I believe someone else has a gift for you. And I have to still go buy some toilet paper. And some deodorant...probably some dental floss, too. Anyways, ta ta." And with that, he disappeared.  
  
Kento looked around for a second and put his staff over his shoulder. "Well, that wasn't too bad."  
  
"Oh shut the hell up," an exhausted Ryo said before collapsing into Sage's arms. Meanwhile, across the street, a peeved Rain was trying to pull a whining Amariie onto the street surface. "STOP! You're gonna rip my DRESS! It cost me A LOT!"  
  
Rain rolled her eyes and readjusted her grip on the blondie's wrist, who was still halfway hanging over the edge of the big hole Nubis created. By the time, she FINALLY got the whiny bitch up, a huge gust of wind flew by. Then another. Then the whole area seemed to be a filled with rushes of air coming from nowhere yet everywhere. Their long hair flew around them, blocking their vision. Rain grabbed ahold of a conveniently nearby street lamp as Amariie held onto Rain's waist.  
  
The winds swept up everything in its path. Rain opener her eyes slightly, then snapped them open when she saw a ridiculously large...tornado coming towards the Ronins. GAWD, a tornado? Didn't Talpa see that 50's movie about not using tornados against fictional elemental warriors for the reason of them being stashed in their element, hence becoming stronger? Whatever.  
  
They both tried to yell at them to get out of the way, but they were drowned out by the sounds of the wind and flying debris. The dumbass boys saw it a bit too late and couldn't escape it. Snatching them up quickly, it exploded, sending five streaks of light in five different directions. Immediately, the wind died, leaving the girls and White Blaze, who didn't feel like getting snatched in a tornado with Ryo, alone. The city had become more desolate than before.  
  
Amariie jogged a few feet and her bright blue eyes darted over the landscape. It was almost midnight and the stars shined more brightly than before, almost as if something had just been restored to it. She seemed drawn to the royal blue endlessness.  
  
She swore that she saw a shooting star that glowed a dull blue streak across the sky. Her thoughts were disrupted by Rain calling out to the Ronins.  
  
"HELLLOOOO! GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE BEFORE I BARBEQUE THEM!!!" she demanded in a random direction.  
  
Only echoes of her own voice were her reply. Amariie lowered her head and realized that they were alone.  
  
Deep in the dark throne room, Talpa sat all too pleased with himself. In front of him, Badamon stood, awaiting for his master to speak.  
  
"I got to use my tornado! I got to use my tornado! See, Baddy? It worked after all!" Talpa cheered, bouncing up and down in his seat and clapping.  
  
The apparition sighed loudly and drifted off to find some Ritilan in order to deal with his master.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********Author's note: lagomorph/Amariie here. The giant boot part was a picture I drew, and when I was stuck on something to write, my bro reminded me of it. Go bro! 


	6. Car and volcano, both hot as hell

Author's note: Re-edited version of chapter 5. Grr, this damn chapter was crap to upload... anyways, it's here so you'd better damn well enjoy it. jk. Actually, no I'm not.  
  
::insert disclaimer here::  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
NEVER get onto a plane unless you know EXACTLY where you are going  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Morning came quite uninvitingly and our two heroines were sleeping as peacefully as sleeping on pavement could give. White Blaze was used as a big, moving pillow for Amariie while Rain was getting a firm backside from the gritty cement next to the overturned car they used as mild shelter. As Amariie was snoring away, Rain's mind was running non-stop. A dream plagued her thoughts. In this dream, she saw a man with long white hair in the distance, holding the staff that nearly killed Amariie's boot. He pointed his staff to a bigass volcano, a soft chime sounding. Surrounding the mountain was blackness and void. From inside the mouth came an immense bright red light that flowed across the dark, breaking it apart and cleansing the land. Beside her, Amariie was...well, not dreaming of volcanoes.  
  
Rain was sharply awakened by a girly giggle from the unconscious form next to her. Opening one eye to glare with discontent at this pain in the ass, she closed her eyes and tried once more to go to sleep.  
  
Suddenly an arm wrapped around Rain's waist and pulled her tightly. Another giggle and a murmured "I love you Matt" caused Rain to bolt upright shrieking.  
  
"GET OFFA ME!!" shouted Rain while shoving Amariie's arms off of her.  
  
Amariie pulled her head up to glare at her bud. She scrunched her nose up in annoyance and sat up wearily. "Why'd ya wake me, Rainey? I was having the nicest dream!" she said as her eyes turned glittery.  
  
"So I noticed," said Rain lowly while dusting off her shirt.  
  
White Blaze raised his head and licked Amariie's face cheerily. Amariie, however, did not enjoy this. "EW! STOP! BAD KITTIE! BAD, BAD KITTIE!" she screeched like a banshee. "My HAIR!"  
  
Still lying on the ground, Rain smacked her head against the ground. "Oh god help me..." she whispered. She suddenly remembered the weird dream she had. That guy looked familiar. Last time she eats spicy Doritos before she goes to sleep...Something about a volcano. And that guy with the deadly boot killing staff. Her thoughts turned to the boys. 'They couldn't have just disappeared,' she thought while sitting up, 'Maybe they were put some place where we couldn't find-' Rain's thoughts ended as Amariie's sparkled.  
  
"Oooo!" she squealed and pushed herself to a standing position.  
  
Rain sighed and stretched. "Now what is it?"  
  
Amariie pointed down a vacant road, then began skipping along the trashed sidewalk humming to herself. Rain and White Blaze both simultaneously rained an eyebrow. Well White Blaze didn't but we all know he did. "Shiney!" the blonde said bending over while trying to hold back her hair.  
  
Kittie stood up and stretched, then accompanied Rain to where Amariie stood gazing at the gutter. "Uhh... 'Arrie? I don't think we should be running off right now," Rain said as she walked up to her pal's side.  
  
"But lookie!!" Amariie said all-too-happily as she picked up a long, very sharp, Japanese-style sword. "Ooo! Rain! Can I?? Please?!" her pale blue eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree on crack. Suddenly, if it were possible, her smile widened even more. "IT'S KENSHIN'S SWORD!!!"  
  
The silver-haired one rolled her eyes. "Sorry to break it to ya hun, but Kenshin is just a cartoon. It's not real." Rain quickly snatched the sword from Amariie's grasp before Blondie decided to play with it as most ditz do and began examining the sword's hilt.  
  
Pouting, Amariie plunked down on the curb next to White Blaze, who was obviously bored. "Hey Rain-chan, where do you think that knife thing came from? I mean, maybe it just flew out of some cool sword shop! With a totally hot owner!" her large eyes went all glittery again.  
  
Completely and happily ignoring her, Rain got to thinking. She doubted it just landed there by accident and it did look rather familiar...  
  
"DUDE!" said Rain suddenly, jolting Amariie out of her yummy daydream. "This is Ryo's sword! It must have fallen out of his hand when he was fighting with..." she paused and gave a slight smile, "that warlord Anubis."  
  
Amariie clasped her hands together and jumped up off the curb. "Oooooooohhh! I think SOMEBODY likes the baddie! Rainey and Nubie sitting in a tree, K.I.S-"  
  
"Oh shut up!" Rain snapped, cheeks flushing scarlet. "We've got to find our boys!"  
  
Giggling, she replied, "Right! Hehe, that Rowen guy was cute. He's got one hell of a..."  
  
"Stay focused please, Ama-" but before Rain could finish, a loud breaking/crumbling sound came from behind them. The very place they had been moments before was completely crushed underneath tons of cement and metal from a collapsing building.  
  
Rain stood in shock for a moment, as did kittie and blondie. "...I hate to say this, but if it wasn't for you, Amariie and your airheadedness, we would've been crushed under that building."  
  
Amariie made various vogue poses. "Yes I know, the temple devoted to worshipping me is open 24/7. Feel free to pay tribute anytime."  
  
Rain snickered. "Yes, Amariie the queen of modesty."  
  
Amariie frowned. She bent down at messed up White Blazes' fur. "At weast you wuv me, fwuffy wuffy. Oh yes you do! Yes you do pretty kitty!"  
  
Raising her eyes to the sky to stare at the horizon for a while, Rain got hardcore deja vu. In the distance, sticking out like a sore thumb, was a volcano. A big red freaking volcano. Rain grabbed Amariie's upper arm and pulled her closer. "OH my god 'Ariie! It's the volcano from my dream!"  
  
Her companion gave her a weird look. "What dream would that be, dear?"  
  
"The one I had last night," Rain said very slowly. "Ryo's in there, I just know it!"  
  
White Blaze lifted his head and purred with approval. Amariie skipped over to an abandoned Mercedes Benz convertible (with the top on) (... cuz you know you find those lying around everyday...). Opening the door, she found the keys in the console, but the car wouldn't start for anything.  
  
Rain rolled her eyes at her friend's choice of vehicles. "It must be this darkness. It's blocking all the technol..." she couldn't even finish her sentence before hysterical laughter ran through the area. Rain's eyes turned into big hearts and she started to drool.  
  
"And people call ME guy-crazy..." Amariie said, crossing her arms.  
  
Rain desperately tried to hide her feeling of enjoyment. She loved action and excitement, and even though not in a million years would she admit it, but fancied the idea of being madly in love with villain, just like in those sap books 'Arrie reads. A blackened figure walked out of the soft morning fog that blanketed the concrete and stopped, facing the two girls. He folded his arms as he narrowed his eyes and smirked. "Hmm...You two girls shouldn't be all alone in the big...empty...city by yourselves now," he said, strongly lingering with emphasis on every word.  
  
Rain folded her arms mockingly as White Blaze paced next to her, teeth bared. "Oh just go fuck yourself, Nubie-chan," she said while Amariie's jaw dropped.  
  
Anubis' tolerance grew thin. He threw a scowl their way, then his face lightened. "Got quite a mouth there, girl."  
  
Amariie grabbed Rain's shirt collar and whispered, "Are you psychotic?! ...Don't answer that. But you're gonna piss him off!"  
  
"Shush, I'm just bluffing so we can escape. Play along," she whispered back.  
  
Amariie glanced at Rain, then the warlord. She began glaring at him and stepped ahead of Rain. "Ooo! Lookie! Big bag warlord all alone. I'm so scared! I'm gonna shit myself," she said, sarcasm dripping from her mouth.  
  
Anubis glared back at the perky little blonde. "You think I'm all alone, ne? Well," suddenly the ground shook and dozens of soldiers burst through the streets. How? We don't know. Probably through sewage systems...explains their smell...Anyways, dozens of trashcans stood behind Anubis, waiting for his signal. "What do you think now, girl?"  
  
Amariie backed off some and whispered harshly to Rain, "PLAY ALONG?! Yeah, like THAT worked!"  
  
Rain's eyes widened as more came from alley ways. "Better get running!" she shouted to Amariie as she grabbed her arm.  
  
"What's wrong with you? We can't run away!" Amariie shot at Rain.  
  
Surprised by her courage, Rain stopped. "You're right! We aren't cowards!" She lifted her head to meet the evil (yet charming) warlord. "We won't run from you!"  
  
Amariie poked Rain's arm. "Uhh I meant we can't run. I'm wearing heels."  
  
With a quick flick of Anubis' wrist, the soldiers began to advance, shooting arrows at the trio. Rain shoved a freaked out Amariie towards the car, jumped in behind her, and slammed the door. She was sure White Blaze was alright yet more soldiers were coming closer and more arrows were trying to pierce the car. Just as the Benz was about to be smashed by a giant flail, a blinding light came down and repelled all the weapons. The golden light condensed into that same damn golden staff. A thunderous rumbling sound started once the staff hit the ground. The beer cans stopped as the earth beneath them began breaking away. Within moments, it had become a huge ravine separating the soldiers (and stunningly gorgeous warlord) from the other three. "Don't think you can run from the Dynasty!" Anubis shrieked from across the split.  
  
Amariie rolled down the window and leaned out, sticking out her tongue. "Watch us, Carrot top!!" Rain was laughing at Amariie's half-in the car, half out stunt, when she realized that it was getting brighter outside. The staff had cleared the sky and the sun was shining. Turning the key again, the car started up.  
  
Amariie slid back in. "Aw score! Now we've got a hot car!"  
  
Rain smirked at her. "Buckle up, we're heading for the volcano!"  
  
White Blaze, ready to go outside, growled loudly in approval once more and they all headed off towards the horizon.  
  
As the three came upon the mountain's base, Rain began getting an intense feeling. "He's in there, he has to be."  
  
Amariie, painting her nails, said, "Well he better be or I'll be pissy. I'm not coming all the way over here so we can turn around."  
  
The car couldn't do any further due to the brush, so Rain parked it in a meadow. As they both got out of the comfy car, White Blaze took off running like a bat outta hell. Groaning, Amariie pointed at him. "Oh man, I am SO not chasing him. I'm stayin right here and YOU can go save Ryo or whatever. I still have heels on AND a dress!"  
  
Rain only rolled her eyes in response and started walking in the general direction where kittie went. After nearly half an hour of hiking uphill, she stopped and whipped her brow. "Just a walk in the woods. Just a walk in the woods," she said tiredly. Rain lifted her head when she heard White Blaze roaring like hell a little ways ahead of her. "We could've hijacked a helicopter, but noooo 'I wanna ride the Benz!'" she said in a mock valley girl tone.  
  
Rainey jogged the rest of the way on the barren burnt ground and soon came upon the opening to the volcano. Kittie-kittie was already there, looking down into the pit. He looked up to see Rain kneel next to him. She cautiously peeked over the edge and gasped at the sight. The bottom was filled with churning lava that seemed ready to explode at any moment.  
  
"How the freaking hell can he be in there? I swear, leave it to Talpa to chunk Ryo in a pit of oozing lava. I'm surprised I haven't turned into a crispy critter myself," Rain mused as she smoothed Blaze's coat. He turned towards Rain with a knowing look. They both looked down in the core to see a small red dot, brighter than the molten lava, in the middle of the pit.  
  
Meanwhile, Amariie leaned up against the shiny silver Benz, bored. She sighed once more and twiddled her hair. "Hmm...maybe I should have gone with them. It's all boring and crap here. Too much dirt and grass. I need to redo my mascara, it's all screwed up AGAIN! Ugh! Saving the world is too much trouble!" she cried.  
  
She plopped herself into the driver's seat and fished in her purse a small smooth container of mascara (the French kind). Humming to herself, she pulled down the mirror above her and as she looked in it, she noticed Ryo's sword sitting in the backseat.  
  
Giving a huge sigh, Amariie said, "Ugh! Idiots! Rain forgot his sword. How stupid is that. I guess I'll have to save the day now. Ooohh maybe I WILL save the day!"  
  
She reached backwards and grabbed the long sword, holding it in her hands for a moment. "Pretty," she murmured as she used the blade's reflection as a mirror and promptly applied some more mascara. "Well I certainly can't save the world without looking hot."  
  
After lingering moments on the thick mascara, she attempted to trek up the mountain in heels. Quite a while passed before she saw the figures of Rain and the kitty. Taking in a large breath of air, she proceeded to drag herself up to them, unwisely using the priceless ancient mystical weapon as a hiking stick. "Of course, leave it to men to lie dormant in the most inconvenient places!" she snapped impatiently, while rubbing her sore foot. Rain glanced over at the newly arrived Amariie's hand. "The sword! Of course, we forgot about that! Give it to me Amariie."  
  
"Catch!" she tossed the sword over to Rain. Unfortunately, Amariie's awful aim nearly got Rain decapitated.  
  
"Dumbass!" Rain screamed, and the two watched the sword dive into the volcano.  
  
Suddenly they noticed the speck start to become larger.  
  
"Wow! I woke him up! I'm sooooo cool! See Rain, what would the world do without me?" Amariie giggled.  
  
Rain crossed her arms and smirked. "You've got a point, the makers of hairdryers and eyeliners would be out of a job..."  
  
"Smartass..."  
  
"Whoreface..."  
  
Once again (luckily) the soon-to-be catfight was interrupted by a dark presence. Rain felt someone behind her and seeing Amariie's eyes bulge, she figured she was right. Slowly, she turned around to see Anubis standing a few feet away. Unknowingly, she gave a faint smile at him. Obviously this guy didn't know when to give up... whihc wasn't always a BAD thing, but in this case where he was trying to kinda kill them, it was, BUT if he wasn't all mucho bad and working for Dyna- ::TWAP:: err ok, moving along....  
  
"This guy don't know when to give up," whispered Rain to Amariie, cowering behind her.  
  
She merely nodded in reply and gripped the strap of her purse. Anubis stood near the semi-flattened rim of the volcano and smiled. "Nice trick back there with the canyon. Very clever. Yet cleverness won't ever get you anywhere."  
  
White Blaze was situated protectively in front of Rain and Amariie, growling fiercely at the warlord. Anubis gripped his bladed end of his chain and threw his arm back to attack. Before he could strike, the ground started to shake. It started off faint, but quickly grew tremendously. Rain looked around to find the source. The volcano. Of course! Without warning, a huge wall of lava flew to the sky, a red figure in the midst of it. The form slowly seeped from the lava and floated above the girls and the warlord.  
  
"Holy crapola! It's Ryo!" Amariie cheered.  
  
Ryo's arms were out stretched, holding his replenished twin swords. His eyes snapped open, seeking the warlord. The intense blue orbs burned holes through Anubis. For one moment Anubis felt the gut wrenching feeling of fear in his stomach, thinking he was outmatched. He only suppressed the feeling. Again. Dumbass.  
  
"Yay! Goooooo Ryo! Oh damn, I should've brought my pom-poms!" Amariie squealed with excitement.  
  
Rain was too busy drooling over the badass hottie, which would probably try to destroy them again. *sigh* Men can be so confusing sometimes.  
  
Ryo jumped down to confront Anubis, Rain and Amariie scattered to give them as much room as possible. White Blaze stood at Amariie's side and she idly scratched his ear as if to comfort herself. Anubis smirked and slashed at Ryo, who easily dodged it and came back with a kick to his chest. Anubis stumbled backwards a bit, surprise clearly present around him. He grabbed for a rock formation to steady himself. 'Hmm...I feel like cooking chicken teriyaki tonight...Dais likes it...I mean...Wildfire seems stronger...There's no way he could be stronger than me. Not this...boy,' he thought deeply. Trying not to let it get to him, he repeatedly attacked Ryo, who only deflected the warlord's weapon as if it were a toy. Something was different about Ryo, but what? Eh, probably had something to do with that 1950's movie of Badamon's. He always went for the classics. Typical. Ryo smiled faintly. "Too tough for ya, Anubis?"  
  
Feeling taunted and humiliated, Anubis scowled and crashed his scythe onto Ryo's sword. They both stared at each other, determining who was stronger. Anubis then realized that the Wildfire armor had somehow been given tremendous power. Feeling the need to change tactics, he rapidly released his force and jumped back.  
  
Ryo shifted his grip on his swords. "Giving up so easily, Nubie?"  
  
Anubis growled. "QUIT CALLING ME THAT!" he bellowed, clearly unhappy at his new nickname. Getting only a wide grin from his opponent, he narrowed his eyes and glanced to Rain, standing nearby. "You are slightly stronger, Wildfire. You have a warrior's spirit, I'll give you that. Well, let's see how you react to THIS!"  
  
He then leapt over to Rain and landed before her. Her reflexes were a tad too slow due to the Hot Warlord Switch was on and found herself shoved up against Anubis' chest. Ryo charged forward, but Anubis turned Rain's body around and placed his arm tightly around her chest. Ryo stopped in his tracks, not wanting to risk Rain's like (Oh, he's done it before who cares) Rain blushed and bit and began to like the feeling of being close to him, but then a voice popped in her head, 'ARGH! RAIN! STOP! He's the bad guy! Stop acting like Amariie!!" Getting a kick from reality, she picked up her foot and slammed it into Anubis' shin as hard as she could. But all she got was a nasty bruise. "AH SHIT!" she yelled, wincing. "You didn't even FLINCH! Damn fucking armor!"  
  
Anubis leaned his head down and smirked. "Got some fire there, girl. Too bad you're on the wrong side."  
  
Rain turned her face towards him. "I'll show you wrong side!" she said and began struggling with him.  
  
Flambe' frowned at Anubis as Amariie ran up beside him with White Blaze, who, knowing Ryo didn't need his help, decided to just babysit the blonde. "Rain!" Amariie screamed, fearing for her friend. But then she noticed that her left arm was burning. She held it against herself and realized it was cause of Ryo's armor. Ryo began moving towards Anubis, his mind set on freeing Rain. "No, Ryo, wait!" she said quickly. Once she got his attention, she continued, "Your armor is burning like hell! Don't touch her, but kick Anubis in the balls please."  
  
Ryo stopped and knew Amariie was right. He couldn't get anywhere near Anubis while Rain was there. He was using her as a shield.  
  
Nubis saw Ryo's distress and frowned. "Why so down, Wildfire? You wish to fight me, but can't get close? Well this may solve it," he said. Rain blinked once in confusion and before she knew it, she felt a hard shove on her shoulder and noticed the ground was not where it was supposed to be. Anubis had pushed her over the side of the volcano.  
  
Amariie looked on in shock as she watched Rain fall in. Without a single thought in his head, Ryo jumped in right after Rain and could hear her scream, "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR SORRY ASS ANUBIS!!!!"  
  
After a good five minutes of falling, no make it ten, Ol' Fireball was just about to grab Rain when the scene when Amariie burned herself on his armor flashed back in his mind.  
  
"Aww no! If I grab Rain now, she'd be toasted! I've gotta get rid of my armour!"  
  
So, he (somehow) got rid of the armour.  
  
"Aww dammit, I'm screwed," Rain thought to herself as the scorching heat grew. Suddenly she opened her eyes to see Ryo grab her and push off towards the side of the volcano. He rebounded offa the crater and soared (no one quite knows how..these boys seem to defy gravity) up out of the volcano. Ryo landed and placed Rain beside Amariie and White Blaze (and if you know teenaged girls when something emotional happens, that is not a smart thing to do).  
  
Amariie's eyes went anime-teary. "RAIN!!!!!! YOU'RE SAFE!!!!!! WHAAAAAA!!!!!" She burst into tears and gave Rain the hugest hug.  
  
Rain was choking "And... I...would...like...to...stay...that...way...*cough choke*"  
  
Ryo, crouching next to Rain, looked up and smiled with pride. "There. You're ok for--"  
  
Before he could get five words out of his mouth, the forsaken sound of slicing air rang through the air. Ryo knew what it was and simply said, "shit." then Anubis' chain wrapped around him and slung him across the volcano. Amariie and Rain reached for him, but their attempts were futile.  
  
"NO!" cried Rain.  
  
"Well this keeps getting better and better," said Amariie sarcastically.  
  
Ryo was slammed up against Anubis and then again thrown into the air like a yo-yo. Ryo crashed against several rather large boulders, the rusted chain wrapped around his torso. Amariie, kitty, and Rain sprinted along the edge of the volcano, trying desperately to reach their friend. "You'd think he'd get a concussion or something after that..." Amariie said to Rain, noticing that Ryo kinda lacked an important device called a helmet. As they came close to Anubis, the warlord sensed they were coming too close. He whipped around and held Ryo in front of him, his scythe cupped around Ryo's chin. Ryo's eyes were squeezed shut and his teeth clenched in pain.  
  
Anubis narrowed his eyes, yet they flashed with clear amusement. "Come any close girls and your little friend will die."  
  
Rain and Amariie stood their ground as Anubis held his prize. Rain stared at Ryo as Amariie shot Anubis her best bitch look. Rain looked to White Blaze, wondering why the hell he wasn't leaping in and helping.  
  
Then Ryo did something no one would've thought. He slowly opened one eye to look at Rain and cracked a faint smile. Rain widened her eyes as Ryo's composure went back to the helpless hurt kid routine.  
  
Anubis gripped his scythe and was about to slice Ryo's throat. Just before the blade touched the tender flesh of Ryo's neck, Ryo shattered the chains in an instant and before Anubis could say "what the hell," Ryo turned around in a blur and quickly brought up his armored knee to a...delicate part of the warlord. Even though he was protected by his armor, he felt the intense pain. Anubis doubled over in pure agony.  
  
Amariie burst out laughing and slapped her knee. "Good job, Ryo! You actually took my advice!" Rain chuckled a bit and walked casually over to the pain-filled warlord. She knelt down in front of him. Anubis was still in shock from Ryo's attack that all he could do was look at her and into her silver jade eyes.  
  
"Hi Nubie-chan. How ya feelin'? Good I hope. Now I'm not the kind of person to hold grudges against others, but I happen to remember a certain incident involving....oh lava and you," she said pushing her finger on his chest. "Revenge is a bitch," she said and shoved him backwards into the volcano.  
  
Unfortunately, Ryo's ankle was still in Anubis' reach when he started to fall.  
  
"I'll bring you to the abyss with me, Wildfire!", the warlord hollered as the two fell into the crater.  
  
"Not on my watch!" Ryo suddenly pushed off of the warlord and landed on a ledge inside the cliff.  
  
"Armour of Wildfire, Tao Jin!"  
  
Anubis used (what was left of) his grappling hook and took a chunk out of the wall, creating a platform for himself. How? We don't know. Ryo, now fully "digi-volved" (as our dear Amariie would say), landed in front of Anubis. Typical men, they started fighting.  
  
Meanwhile, on the lip of the volcano, Rain watched intently at the battle with White Blaze lying down, paws hanging over the edge, as Amariie headed towards the car.  
  
"Ariie! What are you doing!" Rain shouted at her lack of support.  
  
"Meh, this is boring. I'm gonna go re-do my nails," Amariie sighed and began walking downhill. Just then, a huge explosion came out of the volcano, catching the three completely off guard (and kitty got some burnt toes). First came Anubis, scorched and screaming, then came Ryo, gracefully landing in between Amariie and Rain. There was a bright blue light and a voice came.  
  
"GODDAMMIT, ANUBIS! GET YOUR BRAINLESS ASS BACK HERE BEFORE I MAKE YOU GIVE ME A SPONGE BATH! And a pedicure...and a foot massage...Um. *AHEM* JUST GET BACK HERE!" Talpa's voice echoed before Anubis promptly disappeared.  
  
"I toasted Anubis!" Ryo shouted in victory, holding his swords high.  
  
Rain smirked. "I'd say more like deep-fried!"  
  
So Amariie, Rain, White Blaze, and Ryo trekked back to the Benz, which was still stationed in a small clearing at the bottom of the mountain. Amariie happily plopped herself onto the leather backseat and began to redo her nails. Before Ryo got into the car, he looked up at the volcano's top, which was presently giving off large sparks, creating a warm beautiful glow that hung in the now evening air. He sighed and thought about his other friends. Were they even still alive? Or killed by Talpa? He hung his head and stared at the ground, kicking a few stray stones with his subarmor; the click of stone against metal echoed through the air. He felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw Rain smiling at him and White Blaze at her side.  
  
"Nice strategy back there," she noted.  
  
Ryo smiled sadly and went back to looking at the ground.  
  
"Are you thinking about the others?" she asked curiously.  
  
Ryo simply nodded.  
  
Rain put her arm around his shoulder and affectionately ruffled his already messy hair. "Don't get depressed. I promise you, we'll find them and kick Talpa's crippled ass back to...well...wherever."  
  
Ryo looked up at her, his eyes began to gleam with hope. "Yeah?"  
  
Rain's smiled broadened. "Trust me. I have a feeling it'll be alright."  
  
White Blaze rubbed up against Ryo's leg to comfort his saddened friend.  
  
The two turned their heads and watched the sun glistening behind the volcano as it was setting.  
  
They were interrupted by a fussy Amariie. "Come on already!! I still have my toes to paint and hair to fix and I so-o do not wanna do it by light of the moon." 


	7. Road trip!

Author's Note: Re-edit of chapter 6 COMPLETE! Sorry, playing a lil too much smash bro's with my brother..ahem..  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Ronin Warriors, nor Mercedes, nor crazy Japanese caves with glowing encased Ronin's in em.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Darkness engulfed her body. It wrapped around her with a cool yet warm touch. It's bitter taste filled her mouth. Suddenly when the pitch was about to drag her into oblivion, a sharp distinct beam shone through it, shattering the sloe blackness. The string of light grew to an immense river of a shimmering green. A tall figure stood in the middle, holding a long sword. It whispered to her. It was a murmur that rolled of its tongue. She heard a distinct heartbeat and in the distance she found the source: a huge pillar of ice. Then the smell of poison came. A red, hot blade flew out of the dark towards her.  
  
Rain then awoke screaming, sweat encasing her body.  
  
Amariie slammed on the brakes. "JEEZ WOMAN! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!" Turning her head to the side, she noticed Ryo jolted up in his seat also. Rain had given up the control of the steering wheel back at a Burger King and taken a lil snooze in the back seat. She waited a bit for Rain to make some derogatory remark, but it never came. "Uhhh Rainey, what's wrong? Nightmare or something?"  
  
Ryo turned in his seat, also curious.  
  
Rain, still in shock, looked up at the two. "I think it was another vision...sent to me."  
  
Flambe' raised an eyebrow. "Vision?" he questioned.  
  
"Oooh! Like the time you said I was gonna get asked to the prom by Sean!" Amariie's eyes turned glittery.  
  
"Watch the road!" :screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech: Luckily, Ryo yelled in time for Amariie to avoid smashing into a tree.  
  
:BIG sweatdrop: "Ooohs, my bad," Amariie gave a nervous laugh before shutting up and focusing on driving.  
  
Ryo sighed with relief and turned back to Rain, urging her to go on.  
  
"Well...I saw a green light...trapped in dark place with a pillar or something...." Rain mused almost inaudibly.  
  
The three thought it over for a moment. "Green light in a...cave? Green light...." Ryo said to himself over and over again.  
  
Amariie giggled, "Well maybe it means that green guy is stuck in a cave somewhere."  
  
Rain scrunched up her nose, ""Ariie, what the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"Well, you said green light, right? Well the guy with the flippy hair is green, and isn't he Halo? Halo mean light dumbass..." Amariie sniffed.  
  
Ryo's eyes widened, "She's right! Yes! Lets find that cave!"  
  
Rain was shocked, "Whoa!"  
  
"What's wrong? Amazed at my superior intelligence?" 'Ariie giggled, batting her lengthy lashes.  
  
"No," Rain snickered, "I'm just surprised that you use your head for something other than using to hold your hair up in those stupid pigtails you always wear..."  
  
Amariie glared at her thought the rear-view mirror, "Just for that, tomorrow I'm putting my hair in pigtails..."  
  
"Girls!" Ryo called impatiently, ceasing there bickering, "Shall we find this cave??"  
  
"Uhh sure... pass me the map.." Rain murmured.  
  
Ryo tossed her the crumpled up map they had found in the glove compartment. Rain caught it just before it wapped her in the head. She glared at the back of his head and then looked at the map, revealing...  
  
Revealing...revealing...  
  
"Dammit!!! Open!!! Could you learn to fold a map!??!"  
  
Ryo grinned sheepishly. "Heh.."  
  
Amariie threw in a derisive noise as she reached her arm back and snatched the map. "Here, let me read it. Knowing you, Rain, you'd direct us to Bermuda. Not that it'd be a bad thing...Ok, we are here and this red thingy is the highway and..." As Amariie drifted her finger across the paper, she failed to see a drop off she was heading towards on the other side of the road. Ryo gripped the seat belt for mock protection and right before they went over into the nice thousand-foot drop, the car swerved to the other lane.  
  
"Ok so this blue thingy here is the lake, which is over there," she pointed to the place they had swerved towards. "And the green stuff are trees which are over there," she said while pointing to the right, causing the car to go that way.  
  
Rain jumped forwards between the two front seats. "EYES FRONT BAKA!!" she screamed. Amariie looked up over the map. "Oh...hehehe, sorry. My bad."  
  
Rain grabbed the map from Amariie's hand. "No more map for you," she said lowly, and then began scanning the large map. 'Ok so we're here,' she thought. 'Gotta find a large underground cave.' Her finger landed on some small kanji. Remembering that she couldn't read Japanese for anything, she shoved the map in front of Ryo's nose, her finger under the caption. "Read that," she said.  
  
Ryo took the map and read, "'Susoki National Park...systems of underground caves with stalagmites reaching nearly 50 meters in certain caverns.' Sounds good. Alright, 'Ariie, make a left here. We're on our way!" Ryo ended singing and dancing in the front seat.  
  
"Ryo, you're so gay," said Rain from the back, receiving a toothy grin from Ryo.  
  
Amariie repositioned her hands on the steering wheel. "Ok so I make a what?"  
  
"Left," said Ryo, looking out the window.  
  
"Left," Amariie repeated.  
  
"Right," replied Ryo, meaning it as a "Yes, correct, you get a cookie."  
  
"Right," Blondie said while turning right.  
  
"LEFT!" Ryo shouted.  
  
"MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND!" Amariie yelled back.  
  
Rain sighed and leaned back in her seat, not bothering to do anything, yet cracked a smile when she heard Ryo screech a "You're other left!" at the ditz with the wheel. 


	8. Darkest prison sheds the jack

Authoress' note: Re-edited of chapter 7 is up and at'em!  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own RW, DBZ, Barbie, Oasis, or any of the songs/products/shows/anything.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
NEVER get onto a plane unless you know EXACTLY where you're going  
  
Chapter 7  
  
After nearly an hour worth of driving, the car finally came to a halt in one piece. A happy Ryo and Rain rolled out of the car and kissed the ground.  
  
"Dry ground...I thought I'd never see you again," Rain shouted, sprawled on the dirt, while Ryo made a dirt angel.  
  
Putting her hands on her hips, Amariie kicked Rain in the ribs. "Oh stop being so dramatic. I thought I did rather well for someone who doesn't have their license."  
  
Ryo's eyes went wide. REALLY wide. "YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR LICENSE?!?!" he screamed, jumping up off the ground.  
  
"..."  
  
Rain grabbed ahold of Ryo in time before he managed to commence in ripping Amariie's empty head from her shoulders. "You two, we have work to do!" she said as a tired White Blaze trotted up.  
  
"Yeah!" Amariie giggled, skipping down the path towards a big ass cave entrance. The fields surrounding it were littered with large limestone boulders.  
  
Ryo, with the right side of his face twitching with annoyance, followed. As the three approached with kitty-chan walking besides them, they noticed that the cave access was bigger and darker than they thought.  
  
They gave a moment of silence, just staring into the darkness ahead of them, wondering if it was the right place. "Lets go in," Rain said with a frighteningly serious look. Just as they were about to enter, they heard the sound of clanking metal. Turning around, Dynasty soldiers sprang up and surrounded them. Ryo and Rain immediately got into fighting stances.  
  
"Well, well Wildfire, you may have beaten Anubis, but you will not fare as well against me," a foul voice laughed a foul laugh. Suddenly in a flash of reddish steam the owner of the voice appeared. Just HAD to make an entrance. He/It wore a snake-looking armor and a hideous shade of purple eyeshadow.  
  
All of them just stood there for a second. The armoured figure shifted his weight to one leg and crossed his large arms. "Well?! Aren't you going to scream in terror? Or at the least look scared?!"  
  
Rain smirked. "What, scared of YOU? Doubt it."  
  
"Yeah, sorry, I forgot your name. Was it...Sarah, Warlord of Sewage?" Ryo said cocking his head to the side a bit, feeling rather proud of his lame joke.  
  
"Hah! I'm not afraid of anyone who can't colour co-ordinate. EVERYONE knows purple eyeshadow and red armour clash..." Amariie laughed with her trademark turned up nose.  
  
The Warlord's face turned scarlet.  
  
"Now that clashes even more!"  
  
Burgundy.  
  
"Teehee!"  
  
"That's it!!!!! I am Sehkmet, Warlord of Venom!" he nearly exploded.  
  
"Yeah OK ::cough:: sewage ::cough::" Ryo said behind his hand.  
  
Suddenly all the Warlord's horses and all the Warlord's men (..ahem I just had to put that) charged. Ryo rushed out to meet them. ::BAM:: Ryo plowed a soldier in the face. ::POW:: A soldier went flying into the rock wall. ::SMACK:: One unlucky soldier got face to face with the floor.  
  
Rain, standing by Amariie + kitty and seeing all the action, started to get impatient. 'I can help. I took kickboxing.' She thought, "Let me in on some!" With that Rain ran up behind Ryo and flipped high over him, landing gracefully before him.  
  
"Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ya!!!!!" She jumped in the air and kicked a soldier square in the face, sending it flying into a handy dandy boulder nearby.  
  
"Whoa! Go Rain! Let's trash these tin cans!" Ryo smiled, surprised at Rain's ability. The tin cans noticed their newest enemy and quickly surrounded Rain. She glanced around, sizing them up. One soldier lunged at her with its spear. Rain dodged just in time and grabbed the spear. Rain and the soldier played tug a war for a second, before Rain suddenly let go, resulting on the soldier stumbling back. Rain's smirk never left her face as she punched it in the face, a soft mist escaping the wound.  
  
Ryo faced head on with Sekhmet, despite him still being in his subarmor. Ryo lunged at Sekhmet with lighting speed and attempted to hit him in the gut. Attempted is the key word. Sekkie grabbed Ryo's arm with even...uhh...more lightningest speed and threw Ryo towards the side of the cave opening, but didn't notice that Ryo secured his grip around Sekkie's wrist. When Ryo flew towards the wall, he pushed his feet into the ground and spun around, causing a surprised Sekhmet to slam into the wall.  
  
Rain was fairing quite well for an unarmored girl. She was attacked at once by two garbage cans, one with a sword and the other with a scythe. Rain noticed a lone spear sticking in the ground near her. She grabbed it with agility and blocked the oncoming attacks at once. The sword easily broke through the wood and Rain dodged the blade that almost severed her arm. But it did rip a large hole in her jacket.  
  
"You BITCH! This is my favorite shirt, you SHITHEAD!" she bellowed at it.  
  
Her face turned serious as several stormies approached her. She stood tall and threw down her broken spear. She jumped in the air and slammed her foot into the head of one soldier. Using that as diving board, she flipped over the rest. Once her feet touched the ground, she delivered a savage back kick to whatever was standing there. The remaining three stood wary of her, watching intently as she mowed down their colleagues. They all looked at each other, then ran off, not wanting to confront the psycho bitch whore thing.  
  
Amariie was...well...not exactly watching with interest. She found a nice large boulder to lay on and decided for a tan. White Blaze laid next to her, watching Rain and Ryo, wondering if they would need him soon. Probably not. As usual. Amariie rolled her head to the side away from the battle. If Ryo and/or Rain would need her, they would have to leave a message.  
  
She cranked up the volume on her headphones and chilled. Unlike Rain, going total DBZ style on some Dynasty ass was just not her thing. ~"I'm fallin' even more in love with you, letting go of all I've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me.."~ her lip singing was interrupted by a sudden coldness. Rolling over on her back, she saw a big fat ugly cloud blocking her precious sun.  
  
"Ugh! Stupid cloud, move it!" she growled, sitting up and knocking her discman of the rock. She hopped down to pick it up. ::SMASH:: The second after she reached the ground a soldier was hurtled into the rock, destroying it on contact. She just stood there dumbly for a second.  
  
"Amariie!" Rain called out, "Get outta here! This is starting to get a lil' more intense and you might chip a nail if you stay!"  
  
"Chip... a ..NAIL?!? Yeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkk!" Amariie shrieked as she bolted for the cave.  
  
"..Chip a nail? Don't you think that was too cruel?" Ryo said with about level 10 sarcasm.  
  
"It worked. It's better she's gone. Amariie is easy prey," Rain said, refocusing her gaze on some more soon-to-be recycled cans.  
  
Rain was right though, the battle was getting tougher. She felt herself getting tired, her arms were sore and her legs felt almost numb. With a final kick to a soldier, Rain collapsed on the ground. She looked around to see piles of rusted metal shells. The only two things standing were Ryo and the Warlord of Venom.  
  
Amariie made her way into the cave, dragging a reluctant White Blaze along side her by the scruff of his neck. If she was gonna get lost, she was sure as hell she wasn't gonna do it alone. Large stalactites hung from the ceiling and large rock formations grew from the floor around her like frozen water. Amariie snatched her camera out and began to take pictures.  
  
::FLASH:: "Ooo! I know that'll come out nicely. ::FLASH:: That looks so cool! ::FLASH:: Smile kitty! Vogue, Vogue!"  
  
White Blaze rolled his eyes, if that was possible. He walked a bit ahead of Amariie, who was admiring a stump of rock. His ears perked up as the echoing of footsteps approached.  
  
Amariie was too busy to notice anything. ::FLASH:: "I'm putting this on my fridge. Hey Blaze, lookit! Hey Blaz-- what? Where'd ya go?"  
  
Amariie looked around to find White Blaze crouched down and growling lowly. She slowly walked to his side. Then outta nowhere came a spear; it embedded itself in the ground before Amariie's feet. Amariie's eyes were anime teary. "MY BOOTS! YOU ALMOST RUINED MY FUZZY PINK BOOTS!! GAWD, DOES EVERYONE HAVE A DEATH WISH FOR THEM???"  
  
Two soldiers came out of the shadows; one carrying a sword and the other grabbed its forlorn spear. White Blaze roared and Amariie moved her legs as fast as she could with heels in the opposite direction.  
  
"EE! I'm so outta here!!" she shrieked, trying to dodge multiple rock thingies.  
  
After a few minutes of frantic running and literally running into a few soldiers, Amariie stopped and looked behind her to find no kitty. "Heh..whoops. This sucks."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------  
  
Ryo faced Sekhmet as Rain kneeled on the ground behind them. Ryo, still in subarmor, breathed heavily as they took a break from their melee.  
  
Sekhmet narrowed his eyes into dangerous purple slits. 'He is strong. No wonder he beat that weakling Anubis,' he thought. "You are strong, no wonder you beat that weakling Anubis."  
  
Ryo smiled. "If you want to quit, I'll understand."  
  
Sekkie sneered and lunged at Ryo, angered at his insult. He slashed down upon Ryo, but he quickly blocked it with his katana. Their fight ensued on for hour like minutes.  
  
Rain watched intentively and pushed herself to stand. Sekhmet caught Ryo off guard and kicked him in the ribs, causing Ryo to stumble.  
  
"Even if you are strong, you are still just a boy. How can a child defeat a warlord? Especially one as awesome as me??" Sekhmet raised his swords and called out his surekill.  
  
"SNAKE....FANG...STRIIIIKE!!!!" The energy streamed through the air towards Ryo who wouldn't be able to move in time.  
  
Rain ran towards them. "RYO!"  
  
Ryo turned at Rain and yelled, "No, Rain! Get back!"  
  
Sekhmet glanced at Rain and commanded more troops to surround her. They sprung from the ground and circled her. Rain fought them off as fast as she could, but she couldn't get to Ryo in time. Ryo began running to the side, trying to see where the six swords were going to head. He dodge one, then two, then three, then he tried a "Matrix bend over back but really break your back" move, but a sword sailed right over his forehead. A powdery red substance fell from the sword, erupting in a large cloud of crimson smoke.  
  
Giving a final smack to the final soldier, Rain turned to see a pleased Sekkie and a non-visible Ryo. She began jogging towards the two as the dust began to settle. Rain stopped dead in her tracks once she saw the body of Ryo. Sekkie apparently noticed the same change and his jaw dropped. Rain walked further until she was about ten feet from Ryo. "Ryo...you're hot..." she said in amazement.  
  
Ryo brushed some dirt out of his hair and gave a strange look to Rain. He wasn't in his armour, he hadn't powered up and he didn't feel any heat radiating from his sub-armour. "What're you talking about?" he coughed. He ran his fingers through the ends of his hair and the noticed a yellow strand. He stopped and his eyes began to grow. He was now a blonde. A bit of a hot one if I must say. Sekhmet, whose mouth was still agape, muttered, "Well that's interesting."  
  
"WHAT THE HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL HAPPENED TO MY HAIR!!!" Ryo screamed, pointing at Sekhmet.  
  
When he received a completely blank look, he continued yelling. "Isn't the Snake Fucking Strike supposed to hurt me or at least blind me or SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T HAVE TO DO WITH HAIR COLORATION?!?!" He then turned his gaze to the sky. "FUCKING NEO AND FUCKING LAGOMORPH!! HONESTLY!"  
  
~~The two authoresses merely looked on and chuckled softly...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!~~  
  
Anywho, Sekhmet soon came to realize that he probably could kill Ryo by now. So he did. Just kidding. Sekkie lunged at an unawares and still bitching Ryo, swords ready to kill. Sekkie taking off running startled Rain out of her daze of Ryo's hair. Damn, would Amariie love this. Figuring she'd probably do something about it, she picked up a rock at threw it at Ryo's turned backside.  
  
:THWACK:  
  
Ryo turned around, about to bitch out Rain for denting his ass, but instead saw Sekhmet rushing at him. Still depressed about his now beach blonde hair, he stood there not knowing what to do. A white blur flew by Sek's vision and before he knew it, he was smashed up against a tree. Ouch. Rain kinda just stood there and watched White Blaze run out of the cave entrance, grab Ryo, and then finally made a loop towards her. She mounted Whitey's back behind a peeved Ryo and the three of them went into the cave access, leaving a bedazzled Sekkie behind.  
  
~Five minutes ago~ In the Dynasty, Talpa was forced to watch the Ronins fight instead of Passion Paradise. He sighed in his throne seat as the other warlords watched Sekhmet and Ryo fight. Ick.  
  
Anubis watch Rain whenever he could see her in the big screen TV. She fought with courage and speed that not many could top. Anubis smiled inwardly at her. She was very beautiful and it seemed to intrigue the Warlord of Cruelty. :: cough *sap* cough::  
  
Cale saw Anubis' eyes and crossed his arms. "What's the matter, Anubis?"  
  
Anubis broke his gaze and looked at Cale. "What's it to you, Cale?"  
  
"You seem to have your eyes not on the battle, but on another," Dais said while motioning to Rain.  
  
Talpa suddenly became interested in this. He looked at Anubis and watch his face become so red it matched his hair. Anubis then turned heel and stormed out of the room, slamming the large wooden door twice, just to make sure he knew the others knew he was pissed.  
  
Talpa laughed loudly. "Anubis is in lo-ove! Kawaii!"  
  
Dais' face remained stone-like. "...cute?"  
  
Cale cleared his throat. "What should we do about it?"  
  
"Bout what?"  
  
Cale sighed. "Nevermind..." He then moved his attention to Rain as she went bezerk on some soldiers and winced as she kicked them in a few sensitive spots. Hey, evil empty armors have feelings, too!  
  
:POOF:  
  
Dais tried to see through the nice big red cloud made by Sekhmet. Then a yellow-headed Ryo stepped out.  
  
"...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEE :hack: hehehe..:cough: :choke: hahe...yeah," laughed Talpa like, well, a preteen.  
  
Cale didn't know whether it was safe to laugh, so he let out a few chuckles instead of the roaring laughter bottled up.  
  
Dais' face reddened and he proceeded to walk out of the room, hands clenched and muttering (silver wisps of hair bouncing on his shoulders, of course), "Now there's another man out there as pretty as ME!"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------  
  
Amariie just kinda wandered around for a bit. She lost her glow-in-the-dark sailor moon keychain a while back and it was pitch dark.  
  
"~A little bit of Monica in my life, A little bit of Erica by my side, A little~ ...waitaminute! I hate that song! Hmm............think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts...OH yeah! I'll just imagine I'm watching that hottie from my math class sing Oasis at the band show! ~I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me, and after all, You're my Wonderwa...AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!"  
  
Just then the frail ground opened up beneath her and she fell like a feather... tied around a brick.  
  
::After falling a bit::  
  
::A little more::  
  
::Still falling::  
  
::You'd better grab a cup of coffee 'cause this'll be a while::  
  
....... ..........  
  
............ .......... .......  
  
::Humm dee humm humm humm::  
  
::Almost there::  
  
::Getting closer::  
  
::SMACK: : Amariie nicely landed in a shallow underground spring. Good for her. She just laid there for a while, wallowing in pain. "Oh dear...this is gonna leave a bruise," she whimpered.  
  
Meanwhile, the three made their way deeper into the cavernous cave system. Various tunnels stretched miles from the large cavern they were in. Ryo of the Blonde stood in awe at the beauty of it all.  
  
Rain walked ahead towards a random tunnel. "Let's try this one first."  
  
~15 minutes later~  
  
"We are NOT lost, Ryo!"  
  
"Yes we are Rain!"  
  
"Shuttap, Surf N' Sun Ken." "DON'T START CALLING ME KEN! I AM NOT A DOLL!"  
  
"Well your hair kinda does look like-"  
  
"SHUT. UP. We passed this rock three times already! We are lost!"  
  
"Have you noticed that all these rocks look the same!!!"  
  
"...But this one looks like the one we passed..."  
  
"Rrroww?"  
  
"Shut up, Blaze. I'm trying to figure out where we are."  
  
"So you DO admit we're lost."  
  
::SMACK::  
  
".......Now that was unnecessary..."  
  
~15 minutes after that~  
  
"Ryo this is getting stupid. We haven't seen Amariie yet. What if-"  
  
::bump bump....bump bump...bump bump..::  
  
"Things that go bump in the night, heh," mumbled Ryo.  
  
Rain looked around. "What is that?"  
  
::bump bump....bump bump...bump bump..::  
  
Ryo took a few steps forward and darted his eyes around. Rain's eyes widened. "Uhh..Ryo? Look down..."  
  
Ryo slowly obeyed and saw a greenish glow beneath his feet. The glowing was in tune to the sound. Suddenly a loud cracking sound was head along with the beating. "Oh crap..."  
  
"Ryo, do NOT move. Grab my hand," Rain instructed as she extended her hand to him. Once Ryo moved his hand to meet hers, the entire floor gave way under him. Ryo fell through the floor in slow motion then fell into darkness.  
  
Rain and White Blaze stood on the edge and looked down. "Oh hell...might as well." Then she jumped after him, with kitty following.  
  
Ryo landed hard on his side. The sloshing sound of water greeting his ears. Opening his eyes, he found he was in a shallow stream. "eeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEAAAAHHH!!!"  
  
Ryo felt a large something fall right on top of him. He grunted as the figure groaned, "Ok that was stupid."  
  
White Blaze landed safely and softly besides them. Rain pushed herself to stand and helped Ryo get up. They looked around the new room they were in and saw Amariie lying a few feet away from them, also half submerged in the shallow stream.  
  
"Owwwie.." Amariie's form muttered.  
  
"Amariie!" Rain yelled, unnecessarily because she was in close range.  
  
Amariie seemed to be off in La La Land, gazing off into the cave.  
  
Getting to her feet, Amariie brushed off some invisible dirt from her purse and looked up at Ryo. Then stopped. Then dropped her jaw. "You're...BLONDE!" she said, giving way to a large grin. "How CUTE! You look SO good with blonde hair! GWEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"  
  
Ryo was ready to rip apart Amariie's extremities but Rain grabbed his face and turned it to the left. Right in front of them was a freakin pillar of translucent stone, beating with a green light "Whaaa..ooh!" Ryo exclaimed. "Well slap my ass and call me Bubba! Amariie was right! That's Sage!"  
  
Amariie scowled and stomped over to the pillar, kicking it. "Wake up lazy! C'mon!" She took out a nail file and chipped at the rock.  
  
Ryo scratched his nose, "Umm sorry to break it to ya babe, but that isn't going to work." He jumped on over, FINALLY transformed into his armor, and raised his katanas to slash the rock.  
  
"Wildfire! SO good to see you again!" a hissing voice came from behind.  
  
"*sigh* Piss off Sekkie," Ryo groaned, annoyed of this warlord.  
  
"Hmm lesse..um NO. You won't be getting Halo. Snake Fang Strike!" He shot a blast at Amariie, causing Ryo to jump in front, shielding her and in turn knocking Ryo about ten feet on his ass.  
  
"You wanna fight? Then it's a fight you're getting, rat poison, " Ryo sneered, picking himself up. Poor Ryo, his jokes really suck.  
  
Sehkmet sneered back and hopped down from his perch. The boys duked it out for a bit as the girls just kinda sat there and watched. Suddenly a dynasty soldier hopped outta nowhere and snatched Amariie.  
  
Sehk laughed, "Looks like I have the advantage now! Attack me and the girl gets her head loped off." Ryo, defeated, dropped his katanas with an echoing clank.  
  
"Snake Fang Strike!" A blast of poison shot of towards Ryo from Sekkie's swords.  
  
Luckily, Ryo had thought up an idea and Sekkie was too dumb to see it. Ryo was standing in front of Sage's rock, and when the blast of poison came, Ryo dove outta the way and the blast shattered the rock imprisoning Halo. A bright green engulfed the cave. The guard holding Amariie hauled ass outta there, saying something about his mommy.  
  
Sekhmet was furious, "Damn you Ronins! Damn you all straight to...umm Disney World!" Sage lifted his head. He saw most of the cave smashed up and Ryo panting on his hands and knees, exhausted.  
  
"You will die in this cave Halo!" Sekkie dropped his katanas and concentrated his energy. He was surrounded by a yellow aura. Suddenly he brought his hands, touching at the wrists and fingers spread, to his hip.  
  
"Kaa...."  
  
Amariie turned to Ryo, "What's he doing?"  
  
"meeehhhh...."  
  
He turned to her, "Umm I'm not sure Ariie.."  
  
"haaaaaaa....."  
  
Rain gulped, not wanting to find out.  
  
"MEEHHHHH..."  
  
Sage brought his nodachi in front of his face and it began glowing greenish blue.  
  
"HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" With that, Sekhmet released a powerful ki-blast towards Halo.  
  
In a split second after Sekkie sent his kamehameha, Sage yelled "Thunder Bolt Cut!" A flash of energy went soaring to the yellow ki-blast. The two energies seemed to be at a standstill, but after a minute Sage's attack over came the ki-blast and sent the unhappy warlord back to the hold he crawled out of. Sage's attack also gave the cave a very large complimentary sunroof.  
  
::after the group gets out into the open::  
  
Sage poked Ryo's hair for the tenth time.  
  
"STOP. MESSING. WITH. THE. HAIR!" Ryo yelled and batted Sage's hand away.  
  
Sage gazed at Ryo's hair. "It's just so...not you..."  
  
From besides Ryo, Rain grinned, then put her arm around his shoulder. "Come on, California Babe, you'll warm up to the idea of being on the same IQ level as Amariie."  
  
Amariie laughed a bit, then stopped, realizing the joke. "WHAT?!"  
  
Sage grabbed a POed Amariie and changed the subject. "So what should we do now?"  
  
"Well, I'm dead tired, lets take a nap," Ryo yawned and crashed on the ground.  
  
"Me? Sleep on ground? Ha, I think not," Amariie snorted as she walked back to the car.  
  
"I call back seat," Rain ran after her.  
  
"I call front seat," Sage called.  
  
Amariie turned around, "Umm I'm in front seat."  
  
Sage smiled, "I know."  
  
"...get lost," she growled.  
  
Ryo snickered, "Man, u got told."  
  
The two guys slept like logs outside, and Rain was TRYING to, but...well Amariie talks in her sleep.  
  
At about 2 in the morning, Rain sat up, quite pissed. "Amariie, what the hell are you saying, WAKE UP!"  
  
Rain was quiet for a minute to wait for her response. Instead, she heard strange murmuring. "Ariie..?"  
  
"Torch of Spirit .... ::murmur murmur::...... eyes of ages.....darkest prison..."  
  
Rain leaned over the console and shook Amariie's shoulder "What was that?? Amariie?"  
  
Amariie, still asleep, started chanting.  
  
"Torch of spirit sought through five,  
  
Drinking strength from immortal fire,  
  
Darkest prison sheds the light,  
  
Churning beneath a swirl of salt,  
  
Burning within a throne of rock, Floating amongst the eyes of the ages,  
  
Unmoored in the stream of the sky."  
  
Rain sat there for a second, pondering what she said. Suddenly it hit her.  
  
"Immortal fire...darkest prison sheds the light?? The clues to the Ronins!!! Amariie UP NOW," she said loudly and sharply.  
  
Amariie stirred and sat up. Before she could make a stupid complaint, Rain grabbed her arm and hauled her out of the car.  
  
Rain ran towards the guys, tripped over a sleeping White Blaze. "Fucking tiger...Guys, get up now!" she yelled, trying to pick herself up.  
  
Sage and Ryo bolted up, expecting another happy warlord trying to kill someone. Seeing no one around except a peeved Amariie, a snoring White Blaze, and a determined-looked Rain, they both flopped back down.  
  
Shoving her foot into Sage's side. "I'm SERIOUS! I know where to find the other Ronins!" she said bouncing up and down.  
  
"Where??" they both asked at once.  
  
Rain looked at Amariie. "Tell 'em, Amariie."  
  
Amariie blinked twice, clueless. "Tell them what?"  
  
Rainey sighed. "Duh! The poem you were saying in your sleep."  
  
A few seconds passed in the silence. "OH! That! Heh, my aunt used to tell me it all the time. She was an expert in Myths and-"  
  
"OK we don't give a shit, just tell us the poem!" Rain said crankily.  
  
"Sheesh.."  
  
Amariie told them the poem a couple times and they all had some quiet time to think about it.  
  
"Swirl of salt, I know where that could be!" Ryo broke the silence.  
  
"Throne of rock..must be Kento!" Sage exclaimed right after Ryo.  
  
"Great, lets get going since everyone is up already," Ryo said with assertiveness.  
  
Sage, trying to pull a arm-stretch-pretend-to-yawn-and-put-your-arm-around- the-girl to Amariie, "Well, me and Amariie will go get Kento, and you guys get Cye. Deal? Ok deal." Sage walked off with that, not giving a second for discussion, dragging Amariie with him.  
  
Rain shrugged, "meh, its all good. Lets.."  
  
Before Rain could finish her sentence, they heard the screeching of wheels, and they were just in time to see Sage and Amariie pull away in the Benz.  
  
"Why that lil bitch!" Rain yelled.  
  
Ryo patted White Blaze, "Well buddy, looks like you'll be putting on the mileage." 


	9. Water and WalMart

Author's note: This is the re-edited version of Chapter 8. Please keep all applause until the show is over, thank you. jk  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own RW, Train, Wal-Mart (and we know there most likely isn't any Wal-Marts in Japan... nor do we frankly care), L'Oreal , Nintendo or any other stuff mentioned which would obviously not belong to us.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
NEVER get onto a plane unless you know EXACTLY where you're going  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Ryo of the Beach Blondes stormed through a silent parking lot with Rain and kitty on his heels, trying to keep up. Giving another flick of his newly golden hair over his shoulders, he approached WalMart's sliding entrance doors. Still walking briskly and glancing behind him for a moment, he did not notice the impact.  
  
:BONK:  
  
Ryo rolled on his back and only saw Rain's face above him grinning. "You do know that the electric sliding doors don't work," she said as White Blaze strolled into view.  
  
Giving a rub to his forehead, Ryo stood up and forced the plastic doors (now with a nice mark from Ryo's head) open. With a scowl on his face from still being in a bad mood about his hair, he quickly found his way to the hair products aisle.  
  
Kitty sat down on the linoleum floor as Rain inspected a few hair dye boxes. She picked up box labeled "Sunset Crimson" and stuck it in front of Ryo's face, who was examining a "Velvet Dark" hair color box.  
  
He looked up and raised an eyebrow at his grinning friend. "No thanks. I'm not the red haired kinda per-" Ryo stopped as he saw someone else down the aisle a ways. He thought that no civilians had remained, much less one would be in the hair color aisle of WalMart.  
  
Rain turned around to see what Ryo was staring at and saw a very nice looking white-haired man browsing through some shades of hair dyes. The man looked up immediately, showing the duo his eye patch. His other eye widened, then he grabbed a few boxes of hair color and promptly vanished. "Umm...who was that?" Rain asked to a bewildered Ryo.  
  
Ryo picked up the "Velvet Dark" hair color packet. "I don't know. He looked familiar though." He then shoved the L'Oreal box into Rain's hands. "Here, you hold onto this. I don't have any pockets."  
  
~Thirty minutes later~  
  
A white blur flew through the streets of an unknown city. Rain grinned widely at the stretched scenery from their speed. "Screw cars when you have a white tiger!"  
  
Ryo winced at the pressure around his midsection. "Uh, Rain? Could you loosen up a bit?" Rain quickly apologized and loosened her grip. Soon enough they came upon a long bridge spanning over a deep and wide river. Far below it were churning whirlpools that sucked in all the water around, then pushed it out.  
  
White Blaze stopped before they came to the bridge and Ryo hopped off. He walked towards the bank as Rain began to follow. He walked straight into the river without hesitating until he was up to his waist in water. Rain stopped at the water's edge and crossed her arms.  
  
"Rain, throw me the hair crap stuff," Ryo called out, ten feet in front of her.  
  
Rain fished in her deep pocket and tossed the small box to Ryo. Unfortunately, Ryo's catching abilities sucked.  
  
"GODDAMIT!" he bellowed as the hair dying equipment bobbed around in the water. He managed to gather most of it, but the instruction sheet floated away towards a nearby whirlpool.  
  
Rain rolled her eyes and proceeded to wade in the water towards Ryo as he was trying to figure out what the small white cylinder was supposed to do. When Rain approached him, she snatched the two bottles and plastic gloves out of his hands. Without a word, she proceeded to mix the ingredients and put on the gloves.  
  
"What are yo-" Ryo began but was shoved underwater by Rain. Ryo came up coughing and demanded, "WHAT THE HELL?! Are you trying to drown me?!"  
  
She sighed. "Well it seems I'm the only one who knows how to use this stuff," she said while squirting some awful smelling goop in his long hair. She began massaging his head and eventually dunked him under the water again. Thirty minutes later, Ryo was back to having his raven locks restored.  
  
Giving a look in the water's reflection, Ryo smiled. "Bout freakin time! Now I'm not Amariie's twin anymore..."  
  
Rain and Ryo hopped back onto White Blaze and started towards the bridge. They dismounted towards the middle and walked over to the edge.  
  
Ryo looked around at the landscape and leaned his back against the ledge, facing Rain, who was leaning over the concrete wall, fascinated. "I used to come here as a kid all the time," he said while enjoying a nice breeze in the warm air.  
  
After gazing down at the whirlpools, she walked back and looked around the bridge and land. "Something's not right," she said lowly. When she got a questioning look from Ryo, she continued. "If this is where Cye is, wouldn't someone be here? Anubis and Sekkie were there for you and Sage." Ryo frowned, but then his face lightened. "Well if Talpa isn't here, then maybe he doesn't know Cye is here. Maybe we beat him to it." Rain joined his side and leaned against the wall. "Maybe...But if something does happen-"  
  
"Yea, yea, I know. You'll kick my ass. Well since nothing will happen, as a matter of fact, my ass will be in perfect condition as always," he interrupted.  
  
"Ryo...you scare me..."  
  
In reply, Ryo flashed his pearly whites and posed.  
  
Rain rolled her eyes. "Ok, this is just sickening. Get your perfect ass in the water!" She felt like she was a swimming instructor.  
  
"..but it looks cold..." Ryo mocked, reading her mind.  
  
:SPLASH:  
  
Rain knocked Ryo off the bridge with a Super Duper Bitch Slap Supreme (invented by Amariie) and he did a mega bellyflop.  
  
"Yeeeouch! Now that HAD to hurt!" Rain laughed hysterically and Ryo hollered and grabbed his tummy in pain.  
  
::Meanwhile ((tower of zot music)) in Talpa's chambers...::  
  
"Dammit! Jump Mario jump! No....no! Watch out for that turtle! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARGGGGH!!!!" Talpa threw down the controller and blasted the Nintendo game with his eye beams. That was the seventh one this week...  
  
Sekhmet walked through the door and saw the current situation. "Bad timing.." he said under his breath as he tried to slip out of the room.  
  
"SEKHMET!!!!! Get your ass here NOW!!!!!!!" Talpa screamed.  
  
He slowly turned around and carefully approached Talpa. "Umm...yes Master.." he cowered.  
  
Talpa sneered. "You. Kill Wildfire. Kill Torrent. Got it?"  
  
"..got what?" Sekkie scratched the mess of green on top of his head.  
  
"ARRRRRGGGHHHHH!"  
  
"Yelp! I'm going, I'm going!" he said quickly while disappearing.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------  
  
Ryo glared up at the speck on top the bridge and rubbed his sore tummy. "Aooww...I'll get you back just wait ::inaudible mumbling::" Near his left was a huge whirlpool that extended down to the bottom. Ryo raised an eyebrow and ducked his head under water; he soon came up spatting and coughing.  
  
"::heeve:: Ok that ::cough:: was ::choke:: stupid."  
  
He then donned his armor (which allows underwater breathing just in case one of your friends is a water luvin' bud) and dived into the whirlpool.  
  
Dark figures approached the site with caution. They stood atop a small cliff that hung over the shoreline.  
  
Sekhmet set his foot atop a small rock and leaned on it. "Heh, does he not know the secret?"  
  
One of his lackeys looked confused. "Secret?"  
  
Sekhmet glanced towards him. "Of the armors."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"His armor doesn't react well with water."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cause his is fire."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So the fire based water armor doesn't work well with the fire element water and cause when you put fire on water I mean water on fire oh hell I've gone crosseyed." Sekhmet then promptly blasted the bothersome trashcan.  
  
The remaining few followers stepped back a step away from Sekhmet who was now trying to uncross his eyes. "ooo! You guys look weird! All seventeen of you!"  
  
Rain sighed and leaned up against a supporting beam for the bridge. Luckily, she managed to snag Amariie's discman before the whore stole the car. So, not really caring what Ryo was doing, she sang along to 'Drops of Jupiter' and rested beside White Blaze.  
  
Ryo was enjoying his super water breathing ability. "Man this armour rocks!" he bubbled, watching some fish swim by. Looking down, he saw a whale swimming around. It kinda looked like it was...guarding something.  
  
Then Ryo noticed the ball of blue light way down on the seabed. "Cye! Cye bud, wake up!"  
  
::Swish::  
  
A spear nearly gave Ryo a much-needed haircut ((AN: even though we are strangely beginning to like his mullet)). High tailing it back to surface, he saw a bunch of Dynasty soldiers chucking spears at him. Ryo dove back down. "Cye! Cye you English bastard, wake up!"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------  
  
Down below, Cye began awakening and tried to open his eyes, but they would not obey. His head was throbbing yet he felt at ease. "Oi, damn tequila..I mean..." He faintly heard a familiar voice calling him. It stuck in his mind. Realizing who it was, he called out in his mind, "Ryo! I'm here! Don't..leave..Help...me..." He felt himself falling back into deep slumber but tried to fight it off. Suddenly his forehead burned with a cooling sensation. "Trust..."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------  
  
Ryo was dodging all he could and fighting off as many as he could handle. He then decided that water was not a good place for fighting. Sekhmet watched from the shoreline as his followers attacked Ryo, who was desperately trying to stay alive.  
  
Just as Ryo thought he finished off the soldiers, quite a few floating (what's with all this defying gravity??) boats appeared and new soldiers jumped off into the water.  
  
He yelled for Rain's help, but at the present moment Rain was jamming to Amariie's diskman. Rain bobbed her head in tune to the beat and sang a few lines of the song, not noticing Ryo's cries.  
  
"~She's back in the atmosphere..."  
  
"Rain!"  
  
"~..walks like rain, reminds me that there's..."  
  
"Help!"  
  
"~Tell me did you sail across the sun? Did you.."  
  
"Bitch! Help me!"  
  
"~..one without a permanent scar..."  
  
"RAIN!"  
  
"~..deep fried chicken..."  
  
"...nevermind..."  
  
Rain had a feeling that she should turn around. She took off the headphones and looked over the side to see many a soldier tackling Ryo.  
  
"Hey Ryo! Did you say something?" she called down to him.  
  
Ryo looked up, "GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND HELP ME!"  
  
Rain scrunched her nose. "All you had to do was ask."  
  
After Ryo gave an over-exaggerated sigh, Rain sprinted towards the shore with White Blaze at her side. The duo made it to the shoreline where a few soldiers stood launching arrows at Ryo. Rain ran full speed towards the soldiers while White Blaze laid down to take a catnap, knowing Rain wasn't gonna need his help.  
  
Rain leapt in the air and knocked down a soldier; grabbing his spear and piercing the chest of another soldier. The third soldier took one look at a POed Rain and took off running, yelling something about changing his underwear.  
  
Sekhmet looked down from the cliff at Rain, who was at the moment wondering how the hell she could help Ryo from the shore.  
  
Suddenly it hit her...literally. Ryo blew up a boat with his surekill and she got knocked on the head with a bigass piece of dynasty wood.  
  
Rebalancing herself, she screamed, "Oh for Christ's sake Ryo! Watch where you're ....wait! Ryo I got it!"  
  
Rain bounced up and down on the shore, cupping her hands around her mouth. Since Ryo's sword woke him up, maybe his sword will wake up Cye.  
  
"RYO, CHUCK YOUR SWORD AT CYE!!!" Rain was hopping so much it looked like she was gonna pee her pants.  
  
"What? You bitch! Cye is my friend!" Ryo snapped, angered at her seemingly dumbass remark.  
  
"NO YOU DYKE, NOT AT HIM, BUT NEAR HIM!"  
  
"..oh..ok cool."  
  
Ryo dived down below with tincans on his ass. (ok reeeally bad pun) He swam as fast as he could towards the direction he saw that blue dot before. A spear nearly grazed his shoulder but Ryo caught it and threw it back at the tincan...or so he thought.  
  
"Take that you...Sekhmet?" Ryo said, accidentally dropping the spear.  
  
Sekhmet was now right in front of Ryo, his swords ready. Ryo swam backwards and cautiously watched the insane warlord. Sekhmet yelled as he lunged straight for Ryo and slashed at the fire warrior. Ryo returned the attack with one of his own. The quarry went on for ages until Ryo felt a tingling sensation around his arm. He looked down to see a red mist seeping from his armor's elbow joint. Giving a wide-eyed look to Sekh, he gasped, "Great googla moogla! Where did that come from?" Sekhmet grinned. "See? I am too fast for your slow ass. Hey, that rhymed!!" Ryo gave Sekhmet an unsure glance before attempting to stab him with his sword. In mid-attack, Ryo's back seemed to give out.  
  
"Ah shit! That's the last time I bellyflop in the laaaAAAHH!!"  
  
Sekhmet chuckled deeply. "You don't know the secret do you?"  
  
"What secret?" he asked before a new pain filled his legs.  
  
Remembering earlier he said simply, "Nevermind..."  
  
Ryo knew he had to get away. He was in too much pain to fight so he tried to swim in the opposite direction. Sekhmet saw this and grabbed his ankle, dragging him back to the fight.  
  
"I think not little Ronin." Sekhmet smiled widely.  
  
Sekhmet then attacked full on while Ryo was wondering why the hell his armor was failing him now. The Warlord of Venom released from his swords tons of poison all around Ryo, causing it to seep through his armor. Dozens of fish floated helplessly amidst the vemon. Ryo looked around and tried to call upon his armor's power by performing his surekill. Sekhmet knocked away Ryo's sword; the lone weapon fell down farther into the sea.  
  
Down below the fight laid Cye, who was at the point of finally opening his eyes, but the rest of him was immobile. Just then, a sparkle of silver caught his eye. It was a sword, drifting down to him. 'Ryo!' Cye thought. 'I must help him! But how?'  
  
Cye focused hard on his armor's power. He repeated 'Tao Shin' over and over in his head until it became a wave in his mind. His body began radiating a soft aura of blue. It grew and grew until all he could see was azure blue. It pulsated towards the top of the water.  
  
Rain stood on the shore as she watched Sekhmet leap into the water. She didn't know what to do. Long minutes later, she noticed the water glowing a dull blue.  
  
"Well I'll be damned..."  
  
Cye could feel the power brewing within him, put his body was still pinned down.  
  
::WHACK::  
  
Ryo's katana floated down and the hilt smacked him right in the face. "Oh bloody hell! That's gonna leave a mark...whaaa! Oh golly! I can move! Now Sekhmet, prepare to get whipped!" the water warrior said loudly.  
  
::from out of nowhere the sound of a whip cracking causes everyone to halt:: "Where did that come from?" a confused Cye said out loud. "Oh sorry guys! I guess I was off cue," the sound effects guy peeked through and gave a nervous smile.  
  
" ::grumble grumble:: This new crew, I tell ya..."  
  
Everyone groaned and resumed where they left off.  
  
Cye slipped Ryo's katana in the holder for his trident on his back and pushed off the floor. To his right and up, he saw Ryo getting his ass kicked by Sekh. He also noticed all his fishies were dead. His eyes filled with tears. "Oh no...Samantha! Lolly!...not you....Penelope! ARRRGH! TIME TO DIE!" Cye's emotions took the best of him when he saw the motionless scaly bodies of his friends.  
  
"SUUUUPAH WAAAAAAVE SMASHAAAAAH!!"  
  
Sekhmet blinked. Big wave. Big wave + POed British dude. Black.  
  
That was all his tiny mind could register.  
  
Rain looked up to see an awesome explosion come out of the water. First was a drenched Sekhmet followed by an enraged Cye carrying an unconscious Ryo. Rain and White Blaze bolted to the bridge.  
  
Sekhmet looked up at Rain approaching them and groaned. "Oh hell, just what I need, the psycho bitch."  
  
Cye laid Ryo down on the cement. "Rain, look after Ryo. I'm not through with buggie here."  
  
Rain grinned and nodded as Cye took off towards Sekhmet. Sekhmet saw a blue streak and then was on his ass once again.  
  
As Cye battled Sekkie, Rain took care of Ryo. As she took off his helmet, his raven hair fell on his face. "Ack! Amariie would hate to see this! She'd definitely restyle your hair."  
  
Rain stopped to take in the sounds.  
  
::CLANG::  
  
::WHAP::  
  
"Mommy!!!!!!"  
  
She saw a flash of purple light and Sekkie disappeared. In a minute, a beaming Cye marched over. "Cye.." Ryo sputtered, coughing up some saltwater.  
  
Cye kneeled down next to his friend, concerned. "Ryo, are you alright?"  
  
Ryo sat up a bit, wincing. "Um I think so. Man, I knew I should've listened to Gramma and taken swimming lessons..."  
  
Cye smiled.  
  
"Let's get rest for a bit," Rain said, not wanting to ruin the reunion. They all picked a spot close to the water but away from all the mess to rest up.  
  
Rain laughed out loud after they had been sitting around for a while, telling of what's been happening. "Oh my god, Cye, you should have seen it! Ryo looked like Sage on a bad day!"  
  
Cye looked at an annoyed Ryo and began laughing as well. "You're kidding me! Oh, I would have LOVED to see that!"  
  
Leaning against a sleeping White Blaze, Ryo put his hands behind his head. "Well you aren't, so bug off," he growled, but got more laughter in return.  
  
After Rain and Cye's teasing and poking died down, Rain set the headphones of Amariie's disman on the ground and cranked up the volume so they all could faintly hear the song.  
  
"...Did you fall from a shooting star..." 


	10. Finding Esso

AUTHOR'S NOTE: OH YES, THE 9TH RE-EDITED INSTALMENT OF THE FIC IN WHICH YOU ARE CURRENTLY READING IS COMPLETE. SO DO ENJOY. WITH SOME COFFEE AND CHOCOLATE COOKIES. WELL, MAYBE NOT THE COFFEE, BUT THE COOKIES ANYWAY.  
  
Disclaimer: We, being lagomorph and Neo, do not own Ronin Warriors. Seriously. Even ask my mom. One more thing. We have nothing against the gay community. Really. We're just kidding around, so don't get offended.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
NEVER get onto a plane unless you know EXACTLY where you're going  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Dais tossed five boxes of hair coloring stuff into the sink quickly, then spun around to slam the bathroom door shut. The warlords were issued a coffee break, so Dais took the liberty of trying to once again be the prettiest of all. Seeing Wildfire with blonde hair, he decided to dye his hair black and be the sexiest bishounen out there. Before the hair swapping fiasco, he was sure he was the best looking out of everyone, with maaaayybe the exception of Sage...naaahhh.  
  
"I'll show you, Wildfire...NO ONE tries to out beautify ME," Dais said while trying to decide which shade to go with. Picking "Velvet Dark", he threw the other four in wastebasket and dumped the box onto the counter. Dais took off his bathing kimono (mmmmm...) and proceeded to pour some goop in his hair.  
  
~15 minutes later~  
  
Dais stepped out of the shower to inspect his hopefully new yet wonderful hair. Seeing nothing in the mirror except mist, he whipped his hand over the mirror, revealing his face...and grey-blue hair... "HOLY SHIT!! THE BOX SAID 'VELVET DARK', NOT 'GRANNY LELA BLUE!'" he screamed at his reflection.  
  
Just when the gods of fortune farted down upon him, Talpa's annoying and unnecessarily loud voice erupted through the area. "Warlords! Meeting time! Badamon brought Cranberry Walnut cookies!"  
  
"FUUUUUCCCKKK!!" Dais scrambled all of the hair dying things together and dumped them in the trashcan next to the four other colors of hair dyes. Not really wanting the others to see his hair disaster, he looked around the bathroom for help. Yeah that worked.  
  
~~Neo: Well you ARE the warlord of illusion...~~  
  
Dais slapped himself on the forehead and snapped his fingers. A nice white shade returned to his hair and giving a smile to the mirror, Dais donned his subarmor and went to the throne room.  
  
Talpa sat in his nice comfy throne as he waited for the rest of warlords to show up. If Dais and Cale weren't there within five seconds, he'd make them work out that horrible knot in his back. Just then, the two said warlords came through the door. Damn.  
  
Dais and Cale formed their ranks in front of a tired Sekkie and a bored as hell Anubis rubbing the side of his nose.  
  
Talpa immediately raised his head. "Dais. Why do you have an illusion on yourself?" he asked authoritatively.  
  
Cyclops tensed as Anubis crossed his arms. "Like that time you had that really big pimple?" he said smiling while the others snickered.  
  
With a flick of Talpa's hand, the illusion had vanished, leaving Dais standing there with his blue hair. The other three warlords gazed at him for a moment before completely roaring with laughter. Cale, standing next to Dais, put his arm over his stomach. "Y-Your hair looks :giggle: like my GRANDMA'S! GWAHAHAHAAH--"  
  
:WHACK:  
  
The unconscious Cale's forehead now had a nice imprint of Dais' armored fist. He glared at the other two, shutting them up quite well.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
"Are we there yet?" Amariie yawned, as she sat up from her sprawled sleeping position across the back seat. Sage just shook his head. This was the 157th (or was it 158th?) time she had said that and it was beginning to piss him off. They both knew the only way to shut her up was to let her drive...but that would be allowed when hell froze over. Bored as hell, she smushed her face against the window and peered out into the gloomy mountainous landscape. Suddenly a shadowy thing raced by. Then another. Then another.  
  
"Uhh Sage...." she began.  
  
"NO WE ARE NOT THERE YET! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" he said in a very loud voice (because you scream when you loose your cool, and as you know, Sagey NEVER looses his cool ^_~ ).  
  
"Whatever jackass," she mumbled and swished around in her purse looking for her discman, "That whoreface! She took my discman! GRRR!"  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww"  
  
"Shut up Sage."  
  
Sage gave a glance in the rearview mirror. "Huh? I didn't say anything."  
  
"Ahhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww"  
  
"What the....SHEEIT!!" Amariie shrieked, turning to see the car was surrounded by shadowy figures with gleaming eyes. Putting the rather large pieced, kindergarten style puzzle together, she deduced from the howling noise and general shape that these must be wolves. Oh good. A huge pack had slowly been enclosing around the moving car, and now a huge mess of them had blocked the road. Even better. Trying to brace himself, Sage swerved the car and began skidding across the badly paved road, then flew right into a ditch. A few seconds later he opened his eyes. Well he didn't really want to but was forced to by the major headrush he was getting. He noticed he was on his side yet still sitting in the seat upright. Then he realized the car was on its side.  
  
Suddenly becoming all warrior-like, he yelled at Amariie, "Amariie?! Are you ok?" Sage tried to twist in his seat but the annoying seat belt locked him in place. After a few tugs he got flat out pissed. "FUCKING SAFETY DEVICE! THEY CAN ALL GO TO HEL--HECK!"  
  
Amariie slowly opened her eyes to find herself crunched low in the back seat. "What the fucking hell did you do this time, Sagey? I told you, you should let me drive but noooooooooooooo 'Mr. I'm A Better Driver' said no. I think this is evidence that I was right."  
  
"Amariie?" Sage said lowly.  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Screw you!"  
  
Sage then he used his super duper strength and promptly hauled himself out of the crashed car. He leapt down onto the soft dirt and turned to get Amariie, who was leaning half-way out of the empty window trying to get herself out while still desperately clenching her purse. "Saaaaaage! Get me outta heeeeeeeere!" she whined. Sage took a quick look around to see all of the wolves mysteriously gone. Thinking they were safe for now, he walked over to the hunk of metal formerly know as a car and grabbed Amariie's outstretched hand. With a grunt, he yanked Amariie out of the car and both fell ungracefully on top of one another.  
  
Amariie scrunched her eyebrows as she opened her eyes to find a much too happy Sage on top of her. She raised an eyebrow slowly as Sage's grin grew wider. She finally got the courage to speak.  
  
"Uhh...Sage?"  
  
"Mmmmyes?" he replied smoothly.  
  
"Get off."  
  
"Mmmmno."  
  
"Mmmmyes you ass, get off."  
  
"I'm quite happy where I am now."  
  
"I. Do. Not. Care. Get. Off. Now. Or. My. Purse. Will. Find. Its. Place. Up. Your. Unfortunate. Assholio." Sage just merely grinned lecherously at her. After a few seconds, Amariie's face turned to questioning. "How did you end up falling on me?"  
  
He chuckled a bit. "Not the first time I've done it, you know."  
  
"You pervert. Get off, I think I'm laying on a stick."  
  
He winked at her and nonchalantly replied, "That's not a stick, darling."  
  
Amariie then promptly freaked out. "GET OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF YOU PEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRVERRRRRRRRT!"  
  
::SMACK::  
  
A few minutes later when the beatings ((oh VERY bad pun!!)) stopped and Amariie managed to wriggle free, she gave him a final swift kick to the ribs. Sage groaned in pain...he wasn't used to this kinda treatment.  
  
"Oh get up," she huffed, quite exasperated at his intense display of chauvinism, "don't we have go find Blimpo?"  
  
"Kento?"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
A small distance from the wreck, they found a beaten hiking trail winding upwards. Amariie despaired once more. "I don't believe this! I am actually going to have to get some EXERCISE?!"  
  
Sage grinned, "I can carry you if you want."  
  
"...walking doesn't seem so bad after all," she murmured quickly, starting to do something that could resemble jogging (do remember she is still wearing heels) right past the pig. Sage followed and they continued up for about a half hour, until the ground started to get really stony and the trees wore down to scraggly bushes. It also started to get chilly. Really, really chilly. They came back to the road near the summit and observed the strange giant round rock. It had what looked like to Amariie as banners and little tassels draped around it.  
  
Amariie held her arms close to her to keep herself warm. "Well, Ronin Warrior guy, now what?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"We free Kento obviously," he replied, just as cocky.  
  
"How?"  
  
He turned to face her, an amusing expression forming. "Uhh split the rock open?"  
  
"..won't you kill Esso if you do that?"  
  
"..you mean Kento?"  
  
"Whatever!"  
  
At a loss for words, Sage shrugged and did his lil transformation thingy into his green armour. Poising his no-datchi in front of him, he shouted, "Thunder Bolt Cut!" and a light blue ball of energy blasted towards the rock. Once the light die down, it showed that there wasn't even a dent to show for it.  
  
As if on cue, the howling started up again, but this time accompanied by a rather high pitched girly laughter. "Uh oh..." Sage groaned, eyes wildly flitting around, searching for the voice. But all he could see was a newly formed snowstorm. White flakes drifted around rapidly, shielding his view. He took a quick look at Amariie to be sure she was still beside him...but she wasn't. His eyes widened as he spun his vision all around him, trying to see through the blizzard. In fact, he couldn't even see the stone anymore. All he could hear was a cackling laughter filling his ears.  
  
"LET ME GO YOU PRICK!" screamed the blonde female. Just before the sudden snow hit, a large arm snatched her up like a baby and she was hauled onto the man's shoulder. Struggling was useless for Amariie. Cause, well it's Amariie. Every time she'd fight, she'd hear a deep chuckle.  
  
"My, my, aren't you the fiesty one," said the strained voice as they ascended to a high cliff. Amariie tried to yell for Sage but she couldn't see his bright green armor through the snow. Sage wandered aimlessly, angered to an extreme level. No make that pissed off. The voice and Amariie had disappeared and now even though the snow had died down, his comrade was nowhere in sight.  
  
"DAMMIT YOU :BEEP: ING WHOOOOORE! WHERE THE ::BEEEEEEEEEEP: DID YOU :BEEEEEEEP: ING RUN OFF TO??" Sage couldn't see anything in all directions, so he decided to walk towards what he thought the best way. He stumbled around a bit through the knee-high soft snow until he came upon some shelter in what looked like an abandoned den. Feeling a strangely calm feeling rising in him, he sat down under the ledge and closed his eyes.  
  
"Halo.." a soothing voice rang in his head. "To help your friends, find your inner strength, unite your mind, body and soul... and drink some herbal tea."  
  
"How can I do that? Where can I find some herbal tea? What kind of herbal tea? Please tell me," Sage begged, but there was no answer.  
  
Ginseng...  
  
Uh sorry, trouble with the translating...  
  
Wisdom... He felt a pattern etched on his forehead. Opening his eyes he could detect a faint green gleam coming from it. The light bathed the walls of the cavern. He looked around and saw it was a small shallow cave, and opposite from the side he came through was another opening. It overlooked a noisy waterfall, running down a cleft cut in the side of the mountain.  
  
"AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!"  
  
A shrill scream bolted him back in reality. "Come out, come out where ever you are, Sage of the Halo," a voice taunted. It wasn't the globby voice of Sekhmet, the strange purr of Dais, or the crazed tone of Anubis, so it had to be...  
  
Purely from process of elimination, Sage cried, "Cale, Warlord of Corruption!" and hopped to his feet. He jogged over to the waterfall side and pressed against the side of the cave, staying out of sight from unfriendly eyes. A flash of pink caught his attention. He saw Amariie, securely bound by a chain, which was firmly fastened to a rock outcrop (and MAN was she hollering). She was being held in the air in front of Cale.  
  
The Warlord burst into wicked laughter. "If you don't bring your skulking self out of your hiding place Halo, your precious little friend will die!"  
  
"Don't worry about me, Sa.." Amariie's pleas were cut short as Cale pushed her off the rock face. A small yelp came from her before the chain cut in her side and stopped her fall. She hung in the middle of the waterfall, managing once in a while to kick off the back of the mountain wall so she could gasp for a breath of air. "Save Kento! You mus.."  
  
Psycho Cale looked around a bit and then gave a loud laugh. "Fine then! Freeze with her in a frozen hell!"  
  
Summoning his dark powers, the air became painfully cold and the landscape was covered with ice. The wildlife froze solid and the trees crystallized. Finally, the icy death passed up the water and it turned as to solid glass. Before she could get one last breath, she was caught in the process and remained staring wide-eyed outwards, an expression of fear on her lips. Sage was not spared. He had remained shocked from seeing his female companion turn into a popsicle when he felt the cold tingling climb up his legs. He clenched his eyes shut. "No! Amariie, Kento... I won't let this happen.... grrr Cale!" he growled, anger boiling inside of him. At the last second, a desperate rush of power flowed visible green through his subarmour. "Armour of Halo, DAO CHI!"  
  
With a newly discovered strength, he leapt out of the cave and climbed harshly up towards the cliff. And we aren't kidding when we say HARSHLY. Like, poor Sagey has never climbed an icy cliff before, so naturally he falls down a few times, hurts his bottom and scrapes up the limbs (even though he is wearing protective mystical armour, but lets ignore that for a sec okies?). Come on people, just use your imagination.... but not too much, this is rated PG-13. Anywho, he found Cale standing casually, the rusted chain holding Amariie tied around a small boulder. Sage unsheathed his no dachi in an instant and was ready to attack. Cale slowly raised his sword until it was eye-level to Sage. As the two stood there waiting for the other to move, the background music began to pick up. Trumpets were blaring, violin was going nuts and the bass was thumping in their earlobes. The Gregorian chant reached its peak as the green warrior narrowed his eyes angrily and with a loud growl, he slashed his long sword at Cale. He was sure that the steel had pierced his enemy, but it had only dug itself in snow. What a fucker. Honestly. With no warning or sound, Cale smashed his fist against Sage's backside; how the warrior of darkness managed to appear behind him, Sage didn't know. "Come, come, Sage. Where is this powerful soldier I heard of? All I see is a small boy," Cale whispered tauntingly. Lips curving into a smile, he continued, "not that I'm complaining."  
  
Sage's face went sour and was about to mutter 'pedophile' when a deep booming laughter settled down upon them, drowning out the orchestra and ruining the mood. Not that there was much of one anyways.  
  
"Cale," Talpa began, trying to contain his laughter, "I knew it."  
  
Cale's eyes went wide. "S-Sire, what do you mean?! I was winning against Halo!"  
  
Now reduced to snickering, Talpa replied, "That's not what I meant. We all knew you were gay."  
  
"WHAT?!" Cale exploded. "WHO TOLD YOU THAT?! I... I mean, I was just KIDDING when I said that to Halo!"  
  
"Puh-lease, Dais read it on your livejournal page."  
  
"Damn him! Yeah well ... he wears silk panties to bed!" Cale roared, face flushed.  
  
"And one would wonder how you would know that..."  
  
"ARRGH!"  
  
Having given in to the temptation of openly mocking Cale once more, Talpa's presence retreated to wherever the hell it came from and Cale (still quite flushed) turned his attention to Sage.  
  
Sage, shifting uncomfortably during the conversation and now feeling quite ill at ease, thought it best to push the nightmarish thoughts of what Cale could accomplish. He was the warlord of DARKNESS, and they were alone... well nearly alone in a remote location, and Sage was quite the pretty boy, he so adamantly thought. Anyways, this fight needed to go on, for Kento's and Amariie's sake (yes, even though her death would be well received, she is still a main character and can't die AT LEAST until the 4th last episode *Amariie: HEY!* errm just kidding). Essentially, Sage tried to ignore him, but it wasn't working well. A cold whip of wind made him turn his head towards the edge of a wide river that he never noticed they were by. Amariie. She was still entrapped in that waterfall of ice. She could be dead by now. She could...  
  
:WHAM:  
  
Sage opened his eyes to see...well white. The cold harshness of the earth bit the dry skin on his face. He would need to get a face mask done when he was back home. He had barely taken a breath of air when he felt his leg being nearly ripped from its socket. Cale had grabbed his ankle and swung him into a rather large, unfriendly boulder. Sage knew he was getting his ass handed to him (or so he hoped that was all which was going to happen to his ass) so he did the only thing Sage could do. He ran.  
  
Cale laughed at this. "So the mighty Warrior of Light runs before me! How delightful!" Putting a cork in his gloating, he remembered his main objective. Kill Hardrock. Cale walked down a slope a bit until he came upon the large stone. Poising his sword towards the tasseled boulder, he hurled it with all his might. The sword jabbed into the rock like a hot knife through butter, creeping inwards towards the sleeping Ronin. Meanwhile, Sage took the opportunity to be the knight in shining.. erm.. green armour and save the girl. Making his way back to the cave, he concentrated on the warm power flow his armour supplied him with.  
  
Ginseng.  
  
Dammit, sorry again.  
  
Wisdom.  
  
Drinking in his newfound strength (sorry! I'll try to stop now), he threw himself across the gap over to where Amariie hung like a rag doll. Well, a cross between a popsicle and a ragdoll. Or maybe a rag doll if you soaked it with the hose and left it outside in the winter and it got all frozen and the hair all crunchy... ok moving along. In one quick motion he smashed the ice along with her bonds. Using his power to defrost her ((don't you wish you had that when trying to cook that chicken last night, ne?)) he rebounded back to the safety of the cave.  
  
Placing her gently on the ground, he turned his attention back to more pressing (or once again hoped it wouldn't be) matters. Sage noted his prey and charged, seeing he was unarmed. Cale blocked him with a clawed fist and poised to slash his face, but Sage called his faceplate in the nick of time.  
  
Bringing his sword forcefully down upon the Warlord's head, Sage managed to break away from the duel and leap backwards to higher ground. Before you can say, "I love apple pie with triple brownie fudge ice cream, and maybe some caramel sauce on top," Sage raised his weapon and gathered his energy. Cale dashed towards Kento, bending all his own power to speeding up the sword in the stone. He was too late though.  
  
"THUNDER BOLT CUT!"  
  
Instead of the lightning ball that his previous attack was, the energy was contained in Sage's sword, and as he flew towards his opponent, his sword unleashed the potent wave of light into the stone. See, told ya ginseng tea was full of energy. This catalyzed the instant explosion of the boulder, flinging Cale's sword and Kento vertically. Overwhelmed with raw pain the two Warriors seemed to emit from their mere presence, Cale shrieked before disappearing in the mixed green and orange lights. Sage sighed, men just weren't his thing.  
  
Kento landed on the shattered remains of his resting place and stretched his burly arms outwards, recalling his faceplate and sending Sage a grin. "Man, why'd ya wake me? I was having the best dream, he mused, the silly grin spreading.  
  
Sage leaned nonchalantly back on a rock and smirked. "Ha. You sleep too much."  
  
With that Kento walked over and gave Sage a hard whack on the back, then started down the beaten path.  
  
"Kento hang on," Sage called, suddenly remembering something.  
  
Kento stopped and turned his head, "Wut?"  
  
"I left Amariie back at the cave..."  
  
Kento raised both eyebrows. "So?"  
  
Sage sighed, "Hang on while I go back and get her."  
  
The orange man slumped his shoulders in pre-emptive defeat, "Do you have to?"  
  
"Are you kidding me? Rain would pan fry me if I left her here," Sage muttered, almost at the cave entrance.  
  
"..good point."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- With luck, the tourist station equipped with a car rental was not far off, and furthermore, Amariie brought her wallet. "I'll drive!" Amariie happily called out, skipping towards the purple minivan. She didn't want it, of course, but Sage insisted on it because of the large seating capacity.  
  
"I think not," Sage countered, slipping in the drivers seat before her.  
  
"Jackass."  
  
The car started up and they were off.  
  
Kento smirked and sipped at his hot chocolate he got at an empty gas station. "That Warlord couldn't have beaten me. They don't call me Esso for nothing!"  
  
"Umm... don't you mean Kento?" Sage asked, giving a glance behind him to Kento in the backseat.  
  
"Oh yeah... meh, close enough. They both got the e and o in them," Kento trailed off sheepishly, passing the mug of hot chocolate up to Amariie, only to have it slip from her hands and scald Kento's foot.  
  
"WAAAIIII!!!!!"  
  
So after another ten minutes of cleaning up, the trio were off to meet up with Ryo, Rain, and Cye. Hopefully.  
  
Meanwhile, deep in the dark recesses of the Dynasty, Talpa was in the bathroom. Doing, well we know what. As he was washing his hands (gotta be sanitary), he happened to look into the trashcan to see Dais' discarded hair color boxes.  
  
"Oohhh! 'Crimson Sunset'!" he giggled and picked up the box. Turning it on its back, Talpa read the directions and opened the box.  
  
DUN DUN DUUUUUUNN!! DUN DUN DUN DUN DAAAAA DU-  
  
:THWACK:  
  
...K I'm done... 


	11. The eensy weensy spider

Author's Note: Kiddies, may I present the re-edited (and much better) version of chapter 10. Feel free to leave a tip. I'm poor. We accept personal cheques and all major credit cards.  
  
Dislaimer: We don't own RW. Period. Midol. No, jk, we don't own Midol either. What we DO own is the Fushigi Yuugi 52 episode. I own Tasuki. He's mine, all mine. Neo gets Hotohori. Ha. You jealous? You should be!  
  
We were just kidding about the Hotohori thing. I actually do own Tasuki tho.  
  
...Ok no I don't  
  
Anyways...  
  
**************************************************************************** ******************************************  
  
NEVER get onto a plane unless you know EXACTLY where you're going  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Cale stood at attention, still miffed about his recent meeting with Halo. He gave a quick glance to Anubis, who was finishing off a chocolate chip pancake he had swiped earlier from the kitchen. To his left was Sekhmet, mouth open, drool hanging out, and apparently excelling in the art of sleeping while standing. Dais and his blue hair stood in front of Cale. They were all waiting on Talpa. They probably should just show up thirty minutes after the set time of the meetings and they'd still make it on time.  
  
Suddenly, Talpa appeared on the throne with one minor adjustment. Red hair.  
  
The warlords' eyes flew open at the monstrosity before them. That's just not right, Talpa.  
  
Before any of the warlords could speak, Talpa said, "Is it too 'Lucille Ball'? I was going for 'Julia Roberts'."  
  
Anubis shoved the rest of the pancake in his mouth and swallowed it whole. "Well, Master, I think it's rather...becoming of you..." he forced out.  
  
"Really?" Talpa asked pleasantly. "That's so sweet of you, Anubis. You get a raise."  
  
The other three stepped forward immediately.  
  
"Yeah! You look lovely!"  
  
"Very good color for your complexion..."  
  
"It takes off 500 years!"  
  
Talpa waved his hand. "Thank you, boys, but you're all still in deep shit."  
  
Dais' voice rose. "Why?!"  
  
"Well, Cale here got beat up by Blimpo and Pretty Boy. Sekhmet lost to Cye the Friendly Dolphin. And well, you're hair just says it all," Talpa ended, pointing at Dais and giggling.  
  
He dared to speak again. "Fwah, Anubis got the crap beat out of him :counts fingers: um, three times!" Dais was nearly stomping his foot.  
  
"Stop whining. You sound like Cale. And Anubis is the best damn foot masseuse I've had since that bitch Saber Stryke," Talpa said, but then leaned back a bit. "Well, I do have an errand for you to run, Dais."  
  
Dais gave a grin of victory to a scowling Cale, who muttered, "I can massage feet..."  
  
**************************************************************************** ******************************************  
  
Rain kicked at a stone.  
  
Cye cleared his throat.  
  
Ryo scratched at the back of his neck.  
  
Again.  
  
"WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY???!!" Rain screamed, unable to contain herself anymore. They had waited nearly a day for their companions to show up. "I'll bet you that stupid bitch is getting a pedicure..."  
  
"Simmer down woman!" Cye retorted. Yes, he was annoyed at the wait, but complaining wasn't going to help the situation.  
  
Ryo laid down on the grass and White Blaze went sniffing off in the bushes for god-knows-what while the Brit and Bitch argued.  
  
Rain rolled her eyes at Cye's latest comeback. "K, screw this I'm going to sleep. Wake me when the millennia is over with," she quickly threw in before falling backwards onto the soft grass.  
  
Cye sighed, walked a few paces, and ceremoniously plopped himself onto the ground as well. Ryo stole a glance between the two and went back to scratching his neck.  
  
Rain began secretly daydreaming about an anonymous red-haired warlord until a small whack was heard, followed by soreness on her cheek. "Ryo I swear to god you need a hobby," she growled, not bothering to open her eyes. Ryo wasn't worth breaking the yummy daydream.  
  
Ryo blinked as he tried to figure out how he pissed off Rain this time. After a few moments, he figured out he actually didn't do anything. "Uh, Rain...that's not me."  
  
Rain rolled over to bitch out Ryo, but once she opened her mouth, more little stones came flying her way. Trying to shield herself, she, along with the other bewildered two, stood up and tried to figure out the source of them. Cye turned his head towards a small hill they had relaxed next to and noticed a small, black figure standing on the top. Without warning, Cye began running full speed towards the top with Ryo, who also noticed it, right behind him.  
  
Rain was left in their dust quite confused. She squinted her eyes at the figures atop the hill, but the sunlight refused to let her see anything. Deciding to let the boys handle the situation, Rain found a nice thick tree to lean against. White Blaze trotted up next to her, begging her to scratch him behind his neck.  
  
A few moments later, Ryo, Cye, and a bloody man came slowly down the hill.  
  
Rain's eyes widened slowly as she recognized him, the blue tint was a giveaway.  
  
"Rowen?!" she blurted out as Ryo carefully laid him across a soft patch of grass.  
  
Rowen painfully raised his eyes towards Rain. A glint of sunlight reflected off of his blue irises. "Hey Rain," he said lowly as he cracked a smile at her. "Hope I'm not too late."  
  
Rain smirked at him. "Well of course you are! We were about to get to the good stuff without ya." She turned to pet White Blaze, but he was in a defense stance and growling angrily towards Rowen.  
  
Ryo slapped his knee. "White Blaze! Stop that, it's Rowen!"  
  
Rain looked at Rowen as he narrowed his eyes slightly. Suddenly, White Blaze turned tail and ran off into the brush.  
  
"Dumb cat," Ryo said under his breath.  
  
Cye kneeled next to him and gave him an overlook. "Ye gods, Ro. What the hell happened?"  
  
Rowen breathed in a deep breath and avoided Cye's eyes. "They got to me first. I don't know how they found me but they did. And when they did... I was made a prisoner in Talpa's castle. For days I was tortured endlessly, I don't remember most of it."  
  
Ryo nearly had tears in his eyes as he listened to his friend.  
  
Rain raised an eyebrow. "Uh, buddy, if they did all this stuff to you, then how'd you get here?"  
  
Rowen glanced at her silver green eyes for a moment, as Ryo gave her a warning growl. "Rain, he's been through a lot and you're going to accuse him of lying?"  
  
Cye cleared his throat at Ryo, telling him to quit it.  
  
Rowen continued. "A guy with white hair and that staff. He came to me and somehow got me free. I appeared a few miles from here. I started walking in one direction and I found you three, thank god."  
  
Ryo took Rowen's hand. "Ro, we will get vengeance for what they've done to you." He paused for a moment, to take a glance at Rowen's countless wounds. Appearing pale, he turned to Rain. "Um...Rain here will take care of your injuries."  
  
Sitting a few feet away, Rain blinked. "I will?"  
  
Fireball nodded furiously. "Yeah, I hate blood. I pass out easily..heh.."  
  
"Pussy." Rain smiled a bit. "OH MY GOD RYO YOU'RE BLEEDING!!!" She screamed as she pointed to a small mark on his neck where a thorned plant scratched him.  
  
Ryo turned veeery pale. "WHAAAAAAAT?!?!!" He felt his neck. "EEEEE!!!"  
  
:thump:  
  
Cye snickered at the scene of Ryo passing out.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******************************************  
  
"Rowen, you're gonna have to take your stinkin armor off."  
  
"Raain...I don't wanna."  
  
"Oh shut up you big baby. It'll hurt worse when I rip it off."  
  
:clunk:  
  
"WAIT! I didn't think you'd actually DO it. Ok Ok, fine." Rowen finished, laughing at his companion. Rain giggled as she playfully shoved Rowen a bit, as to not hurt him. They held conversation for a while, about the trees, about different books, about how tortilla chips are flammable. After half an hour, Rain remembered the task at hand. In a flash of light, the armor was gone, leaving Rowen in his original sweater and jeans, which were quickly being soaked in blood.  
  
"Ok what hurts," Rain asked quickly. Amariie would KILL to be here to nurture Rowen.  
  
"Um..everything?"  
  
"Gee that helps."  
  
"Good."  
  
:WHACK:  
  
Rowen glared sharply at Rain. "HEY. Watch it, girl."  
  
Noticing that he wasn't kidding, Rain raised an eyebrow. "Ok, ok sorry," she said softly as she pressed a piece of cloth on an open wound. "There, that better?"  
  
Rowen looked off into the woods nearby, not replying. Rain noticed something was different about Rowen. Yeah, she knew him for like two seconds before, but something was astray. She watched his eyes for a moment. His dark blue...wait..light blue? Rowen's eyes were a deep royal blue. Why were his eyes an icy blue? He must have felt her staring, because he had turned around to face her. His eyes had returned to their normal state. Rain internally shrugged, guessing it was the angle of the sun.  
  
That night, when Rowen was covered in strips of cloth like a mummy, the stars didn't shine as brightly as they used to. Rain laid near Ryo, gazing up at Jupiter. It was flickering terribly, as if it was warning her. She tried to think of reasons as to why it would be a bad omen, yet the harder she thought, the more tired she felt. A soft voice entered her mind, telling her to sleep and she could not refuse. The last thing she saw was a smiling figure standing over her. The warning in her heart told her to move but the voice in her head told her to sleep. Sleep was good. So very good.  
  
"Whaaat?" she murmured groggily, fighting the protest her eyelids were giving her.  
  
Ryo rolled over, his back turned towards Rain. His eyes creaked the slightest bit open at her soft groan, but then snapped wide. A few feet away lay a metal-clad monstrosity! He jumped to his feet.  
  
Trying to become more aware, Rain craned her neck towards the figure hovering above her. The recognition flooded through her brain from a few days ago. "Ryo! It's Dais, one of Talpa's Warlords!"  
  
"I know!" Ryo called back, not bothering to turn to her, but creeping towards the sleeping form of the warlord a few feet away. Rain wondered for a brief moment why Ryo was going in the opposite direction of the eerie warlord standing next to her.  
  
Cye snuggled closer into the ground until a forceful arm ripped him from slumber and threw his across the grass. Looking up at his attacker, he noticed it was the ice-blue eyed warlord of Illusion. "How dare you attack me at unawares!" he yelled, struggling to his feet and calling upon his armour.  
  
Ryo donned his armour and charged full speed towards his opponent while Cye parried the blow, stepping back to nail his enemy with a full swing from his trident.  
  
Rain's muffled scream went unnoticed as the two Ronin's fought each other. She tried to wriggle her arm out of the cocoon that was quickly strung about her but to no avail.  
  
Ryo pushed Dais towards the ground with one of his katanas. He breathed hard and looked around, not seeing Rain in sight. Ryo yelled, "You have no chance with me, Dais! Now where's Rain?"  
  
Cye was pushed towards the ground with Dais' scythe. Dais grinned at the sea warrior and said lowly, "You have no chance with ME, Cye. I'm sure your friend, Rain, can see that." He then motioned with his head towards a bigass spider web strung out across several trees a ways to their side. In the middle was a limp Rain, bound within a webby cocoon.  
  
A throbbing pain seared through her head as consciousness came back. Rain's vision swirled and thought for a moment she was delusional. Surely, she couldn't be levitating twenty feet in the air...could she? Wondering if her head was bleeding, she tried to lift an arm...but she couldn't. "What the frick?" she muttered, still not completely alert yet. The loud clanging of a battle struck her hearing and she squinted to see in the distance two figures fighting. She tried to become more aware when she noticed who it was. Ryo...and Cye were...dueling?  
  
"Ok, I need to stop sniffing gasoline," she mumbled beneath her breath.  
  
A soft chuckle to her side caught her attention. "What you see, my dear, is not an illusion, contrary to what you may think," a sensual voice purred.  
  
Pulling her head to the side, she saw that freakish warlord, Dais, standing casually with arms crossed on a tree branch next to her.  
  
"YOU," Rain said, trying to sound threatening but failing miserably. The pounding in her head came back. "Owie..."  
  
He smiled at her. "I see my effects have not worn off yet."  
  
"You FUCKING WHORE. You deceived us!" Rain growled, narrowing her eyes dangerously.  
  
Dais came closer and plucked a webby string like a guitar. "Web of DECEPTION. Duh." He then took her silver hair in his palm, letting some of it sift through his metal fingers.  
  
Rain tried to move her head away. But then she stopped and looked at Dais. "Since when do you have blue hair?"  
  
"DON'T DISS THE HAIR!" Dais screamed, trying to pull down his helmet over his long hair. "It's not my fault L'Oreal doesn't like me..."  
  
Aaannnyywho...  
  
The last time Rain had felt this tired was when she stayed up for four days watching Fushigi Yuugi...I mean uhh Cowboy Bepop! Yeah... She felt so tired that she could fall asleep, yet she wouldn't let herself. Not while her friends were down their getting their dumbass asses kicked by one another. Suddenly, Dais grabbed her hair and tightened his grip tremendously, causing Rain to gasp. He pulled her hair sharply, making her face point towards her friends. Quickly and deadly he said, "See how they are so weak? They cannot even break a simple spell I cast. You and your friends WILL perish and so will this world. So what's the use of fighting?"  
  
Rain was about to open her mouth to argue, despite the pressure Dais was putting on her head, but a huge blast of red and blue made her stop. A large smoke cloud filled the air and then silence ensued. The only thing she heard was Dais.  
  
"Hope cannot last long, Rain. Death will."  
  
Rain cast her gaze towards two motionless bodies on the ground. "NOOO!! RYO! CYE!"  
  
Then all she knew was black.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******************************************  
  
Dais' laughter was cut short as he heard the screeching of tires nearby. "Must be the others," he chuckled to himself, not surprised that his wimpy comrade of corruption couldn't finish off a pretty boy, measly girl and fat momma's boy. Leaving the two defeated Ronins and the silver-haired pinata, he slipped through the shadows to find his next prey.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******************************************  
  
"I wonder what that smoke was all about?" Kento mused, ruffling his hair.  
  
"Do you think the others are nearby?" Amariie asked aloud to no one in particular.  
  
Sage donned his armour, "Most likely. Get ready for anything."  
  
Kento followed suit and told Amariie to stay behind with the purple Barney van.  
  
The two young men split up and searched around. Haven't they paid attention to the last century's movies? You NEVER split up. Men. Idiots. Kento came across the bodies of his two friends first and let out a cry. Sage bolted over to where he heard the sound to see a Warlord in purple armour standing over Ryo and Cye.  
  
"You are so going down for this!" Kento shouted at Dais as he ran into view.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******************************************  
  
Amariie scoffed, insulted at being left behind and wandered off towards where she saw the smoke. "As if they could do anything without my guidance anyways! Boys are so stupid..." she muttered as she went to fling her hair over her shoulder. Her hand caught on something sticky. Wincing, her eyes darted around madly for the source of the crap in her hair. "Ugh.. just spider webs.... wait..." her eyes widened  
  
"SPIDERS!!!! HOOLLLLYYY SHIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!" she shrieked, breaking into a run in some random direction, which was unfortunately into more of the of arachnids threads.  
  
Wriggling like mad, she slammed into a large, sticky, solid object. She tore at the silver strands clinging to her skin, and nearly jumped out of her boots when the bundle moved. Amariie leaned closer and noticed the "bundle" was the owner to the strands of silver... and wearing a green shirt?! "Rain?!"  
  
Rain opened her eyes sleepily. This was certainly a dream. "Amariie?" she asked slowly.  
  
Amariie's eyes widened. "Holy crap, Rain. Why the hell are you in a spider web?? Must have been a bigass spider...HOLY CRAP IT COULD COME BACK!"  
  
Rain snorted in frustration. "It's the spider monkey, Dais. Why are you in my dream? What happened to Anubis?"  
  
Amariie blinked hard. "Girl, you're getting weirder every freaking day."  
  
"But if you're in this dream, then Antonio should appear in a top hat soon," Rain said while closing her eyes.  
  
Amariie grabbed Rain's face. "Rainey. Wake up, come on," she said while slapping Rain's face.  
  
Rain's eyes danced angrily. "You did NOT just slap me. Get me outta here, quick so I can kick your ass."  
  
Amariie opened her mouth to say some choice words, but she immediately felt a presence behind her.  
  
Turning slowly, she looked up into a single frighteningly ice colored eye. "Um..hi." Amariie held up the one thing in her hand: lip gloss. "Care for Strawberry Slush? Heh..."  
  
Dais stood still, his arms crossed. The girls could feel him grin maliciously.  
  
"Well, what do we have here? A girl? You made a mistake coming here," he said angrily.  
  
Amariie tried her damned best to look threatening. "Oh, so you've noticed? How kind of you..."  
  
Just as he was about to grab her by the neck, large, galloping steps were heard following by Dais yell in pain.  
  
White Blaze stood defensively in front of a fallen Amariie and a trapped Rain. Dais was on his knee, holding his right arm. "Damn beast!" he yelled. "You'll pay for that!"  
  
Dais pulled out a scythe and threw it at White Blaze. Knowing that he was standing right in front of Amariie and if he moved, it'd kill her, he stood his ground as they scythe slashed his shoulder. The fearsome tiger slumped to the ground, Amariie hugging him around the neck.  
  
"Kitty!" she cried. Amariie looked up to tell Dais to go jack off, but he had vanished.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******************************************  
  
Kento lunged at Dais with full force. Laughing confidently, he whipped around to hit him in the back. "You're going down, my man!"  
  
Sage picked himself up from being beat to the ground. Giving a quick glance around, he noticed that Kento wasn't anywhere in sight.  
  
"You're going to die, Ronin!" Dais laughed at Sage.  
  
'He fights like Kento. Wait. Dais is the warlord of...illusion!' Sage thought quickly as he dodged his opponent's new blow. He jumped back a few feet and held up his sword. Focusing the light towards the other, he saw in the reflection of the blade not Dais, but the warrior of justice.  
  
"Kento!" Sage called. "You are Kento, right?"  
  
Kento laughed heartily at whom he thought was Dais. "Well, duh! You warlords are pretty dumb." Sage then threw down his sword and put up his hands. "Kento! It's me, Sage! Don't do anything!"  
  
Kento took a look around casually to see if Sage was around: he wasn't. Kento raised an eyebrow. "You can't be Sage. You're Dais."  
  
Sage wondered why the spell was weakening. He could hear exactly what Kento was saying; it wasn't warped by Dais. 'What if he's doing another mind game?' Sage could now make out Kento's outline.  
  
Kento didn't want to be tricked by Dais, so he readied himself for a deadly blow. He looked down at Dais' feet to see his fallen nunchuku. Right before he charged, Kento remembered suddenly that when Dais threw down his nunchuku, it made a loud clanging, like throwing down a sword. Looking up, he began to see Sage through the mist of Dais' image.  
  
"Sage! It is you!" Kento cried happily. "Almost kicked your ass there."  
  
Sage smiled, relieved. "You wish."  
  
Suddenly a cry to their left caught their focus. Spinning around, they saw Amariie, standing there alone and scared. "Guys! Help! He's right behind me!" she yelled.  
  
Kento tried to run forward to help her, but Sage grabbed his wrist. "It's not her. It's Dais, playing a trick on us," Sage said steadily.  
  
Kento looked at Sage, then at Amariie. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Very sure," Said murmured, readying himself for a final blow to the dark warlord. "Stay with me, Kento. We go together." Giving a gaze into her fake eyes, he whispered, "I trust you, Amariie."  
  
They ran towards her, screaming their sure-kills simultaneously.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******************************************  
  
Using her nail file, Amariie successfully freed Rain from the webs.  
  
::WHACK::  
  
"Bitch!" the blonde groaned, "what the hell did you do that for?!"  
  
Rain gave a satisfied smirk, "I told you I would kick your ass when I got free."  
  
Amariie rubbed the back of her head. "I didn't think you were serious though!!"  
  
A loud boom and more smoke, accompanied by a holler. The girls ran towards the direction to see Kento and Sage standing in front of a charred patch of grass.  
  
Rain raised an eyebrow, "Care to share what the hell just happened?"  
  
Blimpo scratched his head. "I dunno."  
  
Sagey sighed.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******************************************  
  
Cye was busy floating in a near-by lake while Rain patched up Ryo and White Blaze. Sage, Amariie and Kento were sitting on the shore.  
  
"I can't believe we almost toasted each other!" Kento exclaimed again, still in disbelief.  
  
"Yeah, you guys are pretty dumb," Sage admitted with a chuckle, only to be greeted a large splash of water in the face. "I was kidding.."  
  
Amariie smiled and stared out in the distance at the water. The smooth midnight blue glittered with a thousand diamonds. Reflecting the stars. Almost like...  
  
"Guys, do you think..." she cut off, shifting her gaze upwards. White Blaze gave growl in approval.  
  
Ryo, fully healed, followed her gaze. Rain's eyes widened in realization. "Shitake! Unmoored in the stream of the sky!"  
  
They all stared up and noticed a deep blue light traveling across the star- studded blackness.  
  
**************************************************************************** ****************************************** Author's Note: Lord Sabre Stryke is cool 


	12. On top of the spaghetti

Author's Note: Yup, ch 11 re-edited is done. Sorry for the wait, I've been moving into my dorm - it rocks here! Not that you care or anything... *sniff*  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own RW. Go figure, eh?  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
NEVER get onto a plane unless you know EXACTLY where you are going  
  
Chapter 11  
  
The sun dipped its head below the mountains and made way for the blackness that soon covered the ground... and six arguing humans.  
  
"Yeah, I'll just build a damn staircase up there!"  
  
"Ohh! Stairway to Heaven, I love that song!"  
  
"..stay focused Amariie..."  
  
"Then what do YOU propose we do?"  
  
"Stop fighting everyone!"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
White Blaze nudged Ryo's leg, stomach queasy from the heated discussion. Sage and Kento were at each other's throats, Cye screaming at them to stop, and the two girls standing by helplessly.  
  
"Why don't we head back to the city?" Ryo offered, trying to deter their attentions away from throttling each other.  
  
"Oh yeah, what'll THAT do wise-guy?" Kento snorted, hands on his thick hips.  
  
Rain stepped forward into the light of the fading campfire. "He's right. We may find something that will help us get to Rowen."  
  
Cye crossed his arms over his chest, "But what if Talpa sets a trap for us?"  
  
"Good point," Rain muttered, chewing on her lower lip. "Perhaps we should split up then?"  
  
Kento jumped right in. "Great! I'm going!"  
  
"Like hell you are!" Sage growled, grabbing his arm.  
  
"Leggo bitch!" Kento smacked the taller Ronin in the shoulder, only to get a harsh shove right back. Kento flew at him and bashed his cheek with his elbow. Ryo and Cye tore the two apart. Literally. Ewww. No, just kidding. Anyways...  
  
"You guys! Stop it!" Amariie whimpered from the sidelines, petting Blaze's fur nervously.  
  
Once Ryo let go of a glaring Sage. "I vote Kento and I head to the city, while Sage and Cye stay back here with the girls," Ryo explained slowly, waiting for his two comrades to cool down.  
  
"No way!" Sage snapped, wrath rising. "Kento is just in for a fight!"  
  
"WHY YOU.."  
  
::SMACK::  
  
The orange and green armoured men nursed their now-sore heads as Amariie's purse made an ungentle greeting with them. "That's it! Idiot one and idiot two, Sage and Cye, will go to Toyama while idiot three and idiot four, Kento and Ryo, stay here. Agreed? Agreed." she seethed, still clutching the strap of her purse with a vengeance.  
  
Rain sighed softly and sat down near the fire, giving the back of her arms a rub. "I think we should all get some sleep. We've been arguing all night." They all reluctantly agreed to that notion, nestling themselves down on the grass.  
  
A few hours later Ryo carefully raised himself off the ground and tip-toed to the edge of the clearing, White Blaze at his side. Just when he thought he was home-free, a hand clamped down on his shoulder. Spinning around, he noticed Kento with a devilish smirk on his lips.  
  
Ryo raised an eyebrow and stepped back. "Kento, we're just friends man..."  
  
Kento snorted and started off, "You're sick Ryo. But anyways, you're not going there alone. You're jail bait."  
  
"I'm the sicko?!" he retorted.  
  
"Heh.. just kidding bud!" Kento chuckled lightly, breaking into a jog with Ryo following behind.  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
The mists of early morning rolled in and out, silently nudging the four awake. Rolling over, Amariie growled. "I don't fucking think so. I am not getting up this ea--"  
  
"Rise and shine, get the dust from your eyes, for it's a beautiful day!" Sage sang cheerily as he walked around, shaking them awake.  
  
Cye rolled over, not wanting to accept that it was morning. Next to him laid Rain, who was about to commit homicide.  
  
:SMACK:  
  
Sage sunk to the ground, holding his pride and joy, and we're not talking The Hair.  
  
Cye blinked his eyes open and softly snickered. "Maybe you shoulda worn your armor in your sleep."  
  
Rain rubbed her fist and then stretched. She swung her left hand over her head to smack Ryo in the backside, but realized that no one was there. "Uh..where's Flame Boy?"  
  
Amariie blinked softly and looked at another empty grassy spot. "Kento's gone too...and White Blaze."  
  
Sage put his head in his hands. "I should have know. We better go after them before they get themselves killed, although they probably deserve it."  
  
The others gave in their agreements, but after a few minutes, no one had moved yet.  
  
Rain let out a loud exhale. "Ok we probably should get up now..."  
  
"Five mooore minuuues," murmured Amariie who was obviously somewhat asleep.  
  
Rain shoved Amariie's thigh. "Come on whore, get up," she said loudly although not getting up herself.  
  
The blonde slapped away Rain's hand. "GO 'WAY!"  
  
Rain gave Sage a pleading look. Sage's eyes turned to horror. "No. No. No. I will NOT!"  
  
"Pllleeease?" Rain gave her best puppy-dog look  
  
Sage covered his eyes. "NO. I'm too young and beautiful to die."  
  
"Fine then, we'll sit here forever."  
  
:Silence:  
  
"...ok ok..Amariie if you get up, you can drive the van."  
  
His words had barely left his mouth when Amariie leapt up and took off running towards the car, waaaay to excited for her own good. "YAYAYAY!!! THANKIES!" she cried, lunging into the driver's seat.  
  
Rain gave Sage an amused grin and yelled, "SHOTGUN!" in his face as Sage punched himself in the forehead.  
  
The two walked briskly over to the van and climbed in. Amariie already had the radio blaring some random pop song, which made Sage quickly regret his suggestion.  
  
Just when Amariie had switched gears, Rain mentioned, "Why do I feel like we're forgetting something?" She turned around in her seat to see if Sage felt the same way.  
  
He nodded and gazed out the window, seeing a motionless shade of blue a few meters away.  
  
"Cye!" he called out, forgetting that the Brit probably couldn't hear him. Rolling down the window (after a few attempts of Amariie playing with the window lock button) he yelled out Cye's name louder, but he didn't move.  
  
Amariie rolled her eyes, "Dumbass..." She then positioned the van towards Cye and crept towards him. Then laid her fist on the horn for a good few seconds.  
  
Cye's blue eyes popped open and he defied the law of gravity by jumping a good four feet of the ground, screaming, "DAMNED THOU MOBY DICK!"  
  
Rain about peed her pants laughing as she watched Cye become awake and make his way towards the van, obviously intensely embarrassed. Seeing one look at Sage's grinning face, he muttered, "Oh it wasn't that bloody hell funny..."  
  
Giving a last giggle, Amariie glanced to the backseat. "Oh yes it bloody hell was," she said, giving her horrible English accent a try.  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
Dais pulled the sleep-mask off his brow and peered at the blurry red numbers on his new digital clock. Damn these things were useful. While on the topic of damning things, damn Talpa for his stupid early morning evil- world conquering meetings.  
  
"Good morning all Warlords, Nether-spirits and bodiless-armour-inhabiting demons! It is 7:00 am and time to rise and shine! For breakfast we will be serving pancakes and bacon in the cafeteria, followed by a Beauty and the Beast sing-a-long downstairs in the..." The annoying whine of the Nether- spirit lord, Badamon, droned on over the P.A system.  
  
Rolling out of bed, he dragged his tired carcass over to his armoire and changed into a neatly pressed purple kimono. He always liked purple. His bed was purple. Mmmm bed, cozy, sleep...only a few more minutes....  
  
"DAIS!" a bellowing disembodied voice appeared...out of...well...his ass...yyeeaaah...Snapping awake, the warlord booked it out of his room and down the hall, quickly calling upon his armour before appearing before Master Talpa.  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
Anubis twirled his hair around his fingers, tapping his foot impatiently. It was pancake morning, and he was going to miss the chocolate chip ones if that one-eyed creepy crawly didn't hurry up. As if on cue, the Warlord of Illusion burst through the doors... with one minor decoration.  
  
Cale raised his eyebrows and Sekhmet tried to, but since his were non- existent he just crossed his arms over his chest as to fit in.  
  
Anubis tried to contain the grin that was melting across his lips, but it failed horribly. "Dais...are those curlers in your hair?"  
  
Suddenly a wispy image started to materialize in front of the large flatscreen.  
  
::Brreeeeepp::  
  
With a crackling noise the image disappeared. Cale shot Sekhmet a frightened look. "You forgot to change the batteries!"  
  
Sehkmet turned his gaze to Anubis, "I thought you did it!"  
  
"Dais was supposed to pick some more up before battling the Ronins!" Anubis countered. A slight smile graced his features, "Or getting beaten for that matter..."  
  
"I heard that you freak!" Dais sneered, one eye narrowing dangerously, but failing miserably from the periwinkle-colored colors adorning his hair.  
  
Burrowing his eyebrows, Anubis snapped back, "Freak? Up yours Cyclops!"  
  
"At least I don't look like a woman!"  
  
"Yes you do!" Anubis growled/laughed as Dais subconsciously fixed one of his curlers.  
  
"SILENCE!"  
  
The four men instantly quieted and lowered their heads.  
  
"..ahem?"  
  
Cale reached into his pocket (or lack thereof) and produced a discman. Pressing a little panel he flicked off the opening and plucked out two cylindrical objects. Taking the remote on the base of the steps to the throne he pressed them in, and pushed the big red button on the top.  
  
The giant floating head flashed up once more and blasted Cale in the backside. "Morons.... total morons. I couldv'e picked those those tuna-can fruits banging coconuts together, but noooooo I had to pick them..... hmm I could go for a pina colada anyway...."  
  
"Forgive me Master Talpa.." the four said in unison, as Cale joined their ranks. The other three suddenly feared for their backsides.  
  
"Now my Dark Warlords, I have a sorpresa para ti ...." Talpa's phantom face moved in slow motion, then finally back to it's original pace, but silent.  
  
"Cale!" Dais hissed through his teeth. "Quit playing with the remote!"  
  
Cale paused in mid-press, finger hovering above the tint button. Master Talpa would look rather funny in pink...  
  
"Argh!" Talpa screeched and promptly blasted Cale's ass to high heaven. "AS I WAS SAYING before I was switched to Spanish mode, I have a surprise for you. My Nether-Spirits have conjured up something to finally destroy Rowen of the Strata."  
  
The three remaining intact warlords leaned forwards, eager for the information.  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
Kento huffed and leaned against a streetlamp. "Dude.. *wheeze* shouldn't we... *gasp* have taken the *puff* goddamn van?"  
  
Ryo scoffed and ran an armoured hand through his messy hair, "Shutup fatass. Maybe you shouldn't have followed me then?" He stormed on through the deserted streets as if he expected to find a spaceship lying there with his name on it. Actually, that'd be kinda cool.  
  
"Looking for something?"  
  
The two boys & white tiger looked up to see an all too familiar face leering down at them.  
  
::Flashback mode::  
  
"Master Talpa," the four young men chimed in unison, "tell us of this power!"  
  
"The great power of which I speak of!"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"That I shall now reveal to you?"  
  
"YES?"  
  
"That is very, very powerful?"  
  
"YESS??!!"  
  
"That is indeed going to destroy.."  
  
Anubis sighed, "..ok we get the point."  
  
"Right. IT'S..... a ball of spaghetti."  
  
"A BALL OF SPAGHETTI?!?!?"  
  
"Yes! A LARGE ball of spaghetti!"  
  
Dais rolled his eye and left for his room, deftly plucking the plastic curlers from his white locks. Cale and Sekhmet raced out the door, hoping that they weren't all out of chocolate chip pancakes, and Anubis was right behind, when he heard that damn Scottish/Japanese evil head. "HALT ANUBIS!"  
  
With a dejected slump of his shoulders, Anubis retraced his steps slowly back to the demon lord.  
  
"You, my finest warlord, shall be the wielder of the great ball of spaghetti!"  
  
Anubis blinked, "Uh huh.... greeeeeeeeeeeeeatttt............just great...."  
  
::Flashback end::  
  
Anubis frowned at the idea of being the new Chef Spaghettios. Anyways, it was time to play with Girly Man and Chubby.  
  
~woobly meanwhile mode...are we making ya sick with all the flashbacks and meanwhiles? Eh, whiners...~  
  
Meanwhile deep in Talpa's stainless steel chef de jour kitchen....  
  
Badamon tied his "I Love Chicken" apron around his waist then straightened his tall chef's hat. Humming merrily, he began stirring a HUGE steel gumbo pot.  
  
"I am a merry man who cooks the village food, come to me for what you seek  
  
and what you find will be good!" he sang...badly...  
  
He raised the large pasta spoon, swishing the thick, purplely spaghetti, then turned the stove knob to simmer. Placing down the large chipped, white spoon, he then consoled a nearby recipe book labeled "Dark Foods for the Dark Hearted."  
  
Badamon squinted his eyes at the page. "Hmm...forty cups of evil goo, got that. Seven quarts of dark magic, mmhmm. Three spells to bind it all together, finished that. Aaaanndd...one cup of parsley! I think it's done!" He dipped a spoon into the pot carefully and slurped it loudly. "Hmm...needs some salt..."  
  
~woobly meanwhile mode again~  
  
Ryo stood very still as to not accidentally start a fight that he did not feel like finishing. White Blaze positioned himself into a defense stance while Kento stood beside him, giving Ryo an awkward side-glance. The malicious hearted warlord of cruelty blocked their way ahead of them. The warrior of fire glanced around, trying to figure out some sort of plan. His comrade beside him, as usual, had no clue what was going on.  
  
Anubis sneered with impatience. "Are you two just going to stand there?"  
  
Kento shifted his grip on his staff/spear/thingie and threw Ryo another confused glance. "Umm...I don't know. At the moment, yes but no. Ryo..."  
  
Ryo quickly sheathed his in hand katanas and motioned to Kento to get ready to do something. White Blaze, sensing his owner's moves, followed him. "We don't have time to play, dude. We're busy. See ya!"  
  
Then he and the kittie took off.  
  
Kento was about to stand there and look confused but in a split second he realized that he was also running since Ryo had grabbed ahold of his wrist and was now dragging him.  
  
"RYO! What're you doing?! Anubis is back there!" Kento yelled over the wind.  
  
Ryo seemed to not know where he was going, but pretended he did. "We have to find Rowen! We don't have time to mess around with Anubis when Rowen could be in danger!"  
  
As the duo sharply turned a corner, several Dynasty soldiers met them, causing Kento's mind to be distracted from his and Ryo's discussion. Ryo slid to a stop, looked around, and then kicked in a door to the building they were just by.  
  
Kento grinned and readied his staff/spear/thingamahoot. "Alright, this is what I'm talking abo--HEY!!" he yelled as Ryo grabbed his shoulder and shoved him inside. "What are you doing, Ryo?" Esso puffed, and huffed, and...um yeah...  
  
Ryo began climbing the steps, taking two or three at a time. "I already told you, we need to find Rowen first. THEN we can go fight, so come on!"  
  
Ryo didn't bother to wait for Kento to push his fatass up several flights of stairs.  
  
~After twenty minutes of Kento complaining that he was about to throw up and die and Ryo bickering back~  
  
"Ok we're on the roof. We should see something around here," Ryo stated leader-like.  
  
"We....I...to...have...breath...die....you...ah hell..." Kento wheezed as he came slowly out of the doorway.  
  
Ryo rolled his eyes and said, "White Blaze isn't tired."  
  
Kento breathed deeply. "He's...got...twice as many...legs."  
  
Ryo was about to introduce the Stair Master machine to Kento, but a purple- black light caught his attention to his left. Turning, he realized that it was only a few buildings away. Ryo looked down off the edge. "Kento! That light must be something they'll use to hurt Rowen! The buildings from here to there all connect, so we can make it if we go now. Ok? Kento?"  
  
Yet Kento was on the ground nearly passed out. With a swift kick to the side, he was on his feet again.  
  
Ryo motioned him to follow as he silently leapt down a good twenty feet and began...well...only one word describes this...hopping across the buildings' connecting roofs.  
  
Kento didn't have the breath to argue, so he obediently followed the leader.  
  
Several minutes later, they were on the roof of the building attached to the glowing dark purple light, crouched down next to an air vent.  
  
Ryo peeked over the top. "There aren't any sentries on watch. So we can probably move in slowly and not be noticed."  
  
Kento took a deep breath. "You're starting to sound like Sage, you know."  
  
"I'll choose to take that as a compliment."  
  
Just as they were about to stand up and make their way towards the lighted building, a tall, gleaming shadow swallowed them whole. They both looked up to see the sinister smile of Anubis. Kento gave the red-head a feral snarl, "How the hell did you get up here so fast?"  
  
"Elevator, stupid."  
  
"Dammit Ryo! You hauled my tired ass up all those goddamn stairs, when we couldv'e just taken the elev..." Kento's rant was cut short via pointy end of kusari-gama connecting with head.  
  
While White Blaze and Kento distracted Anubis (hehe), Ryo was sneaking out of the battle zone, still searching for some way to Rowen. Kento, being the self-centered young man that he was, ungracefully landed in a heap infront of Ryo, effectively blocking his path, compliments of Anubis.  
  
"Dude!" Ryo snarled in exasperation to the warlord, "Get a life and piss off!"  
  
Anubis folded his arms neatly over his chest, "Listen boys, this is my job. I fight, I get paid. Ok, I'll admit the pay isn't that great, but I need the health benefits for that horrible itch in my... wait a second! Why the hell am I explaining myself to you two?! DIE!" He flung his weapon at the Ronins.  
  
Ryo jumped out of the way and charged, swinging a katana in a wide arc, knocking Anubis back a few feet on his ass. Anubis pushed his arm down to lift his body back up, but it seemed to sink into the ground. "What the..!"  
  
Ryo jumped back, noticing Anubis sinking into this... thing. It was huge, and coming up from the floor. It looked oddly similar to that big ball of wool White Blaze used to play with when he was small. Then he realized that the building they were standing on was glowing softly with purple light.  
  
"SPAGHETTI!!"  
  
Ryo turned to see a drooling Kento with hearts in his eyes. "About time! I'm starrrrving!" and flew at the thing. Just before he sank his teeth into the glowing purple noodles, a current of electricity zapped Kento and Anubis came flying out. The warlord gave a sneer, and then it seemed his eyes glowed red.  
  
::TWACK:: Ryo received the unfriendly end of the pointy-chain weapon in the gut. Kento caught Anubis' next hurl, but Anubis sent a charge of red energy through it, throwing Kento, yet again, into a crumpled pile of ...well Kento.  
  
"Man, ugly here is really suped up!" Kento groaned, untangling his limbs. His started to stand, but his body felt like lead. Ok, I know you're thinking, doesn't it always? But this was like lead, topped off with a few lemons, being sat on by 16 mega-elephants. Yeah, we're talking heavy. He couldn't even move lift his staff to block Anubis' next attack. Glancing at a frozen, yet highly pissed White Blaze, he yelled, "Ryo! I can't move!"  
  
A few metres away, the red-clad warrior was having the same problem. It seems as though gravity has finally cashed in for all their fancy building jumps. But, it didn't seem to affect Anubis, in fact, it was making him stronger, evident because of the way he happily trashed Kento's ass. Before Ryo could further ponder his predicament further, he noticed the big purple energy ball was moving upwards. 'Why is it going up there? SHIT! ROWEN!' Realization set in and Ryo conjured up all his strength to get to his feet. He flung his body on the energy ball without a thought in his head...well is there ever?  
  
The squeezing pain rendered Kento immobile, as he watched his friend land on the energy-ball, and slowly sink into it. "RYYYOOOOOOOOO :takes a breath: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Anubis merely laughed his evil little laugh and prepared to end Kento's torment, when he felt something sharp prick at his neck. Turning, he saw the two women that traveled with the Ronins. 'That childish blonde one and that emerald-eyed, long silver-haired, dangerously beautiful....' ((lol don't ask...)  
  
::CLANK::  
  
Sage's no-datchi knocked the chain from Anubis' hands. Anubis stepped back, his body feeling strange. The power that coursed through his veins, fueled by that energy ball, was fading fast, as the ball climbed higher and higher. Searching frantically for his weapon, he saw in held firmly under the heavy foot of Hardrock. 'Dammit!'  
  
Just cause it was a good time to do it, a beam of light blue light flooded down, transporting Anubis back to where ever the hell he came from.  
  
Rain just stared silently at the spot where the warlord was, while Amariie dropped the handful of stones she had planned on flinging at him.  
  
Sage turned a questioning glance to Kento, "Where's Ryo?"  
  
White Blaze trotted sadly towards Kento as he stared into an empty hole in the building. The mass of spaghetti had already soared off without them noticing.  
  
Kento lowered his head and sighed, "I..I couldn't stop him..."  
  
Cye's eyes widened and Sage lifted his head to the shrinking ball of purple that flew to the heavens.  
  
"Oh crud..."  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
The pain squeezed greater and greater on Ryo. He opened his eyes to find himself in an organic-looking red sphere, visible glitches of energy racing through the "walls" of the thing. Feeling really screwed, Ryo closed his eyes. 'I'm sorry everyone, I can't do anything. I've failed you all, I'm sorry..." he thought before blacking out. The ball closed in on a speck of deep blue and exploded.  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
He slowly opened his eyes to the twinkling darkness around him. Taking in the breathtaking view, he saw a small ball of red, moving away from him. 'Ryo...'  
  
Stretching his arm behind his back, he unhooked the collapsible golden bow and grabbed an arrow from the matching square quiver. Aiming carefully, his released and watched his gleaming shot pierce the void, reaching its target with unmatching speed.  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
Deep within his mind, Ryo felt a pulling sensation. He looked around, amazed he was still alive, but even more amazed that he was traveling towards the Earth, instead of drifting off into oblivion. A soft blue glowing ball greeted him. More importantly, the figure inside the ball smiled and offered a hand.  
  
"Lost are we?" the blue-haired archer muttered in his best Yoda voice.  
  
"ROWEN! YOU'RE OK!" Ryo exclaimed gleefully as he was quickly pulled into the blue aura that surrounded his friend.  
  
"I supposed I could get some star-gazing in later" he murmured regretfully, heart lingering in this crystal twilight. "... let's go down, ok?"  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
Sage squinted his eyes into the dark sky, trying to follow the red dot. It drifted away and disappeared into its void of dark. Throwing down his sword with an angered yell, he fell to his knees. "Dammit, Ryo, you fucking jackass!"  
  
Cye lowered his head and the girls stood with a blank look. White Blaze laid down next to Cye's legs, eyes empty.  
  
Amariie sniffed. "So...what just happened?"  
  
A forlorn Kento gazed into space. "He just jumped without thinking. I hope he and Ro are alright." Sage seemed pretty damn pissed. "You dumbass! Don't you know what this means?!"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Ok guess not. That thing up there was meant to destroy Rowen! Now Ryo is inside of it and it's going on a collision course with Rowen! They'll both die!" Sage screamed.  
  
Amariie shifted and whispered to Rain. "He's having a hissy fit..."  
  
Sage continued without invitation. "Without them, we've fallen," he added more calmly.  
  
Rain blinked hard and stared at the ground, finding little stones the most fascinating things.  
  
Cye spoke, not wanting his friends to be wasted away by the silence. "So what do we do now?"  
  
Rain snapped her head up. "What the hell do you think? We fight! We must go on and not give up when something gets in our way! Have y'all forgotten what we're fighting for?!"  
  
Kento snickered. "Y'all? What the hell is that?"  
  
"Hick language," Amariie answered. "Disgusting, eh?"  
  
Rain smacked Amariie. "Oh like Canada's any better."  
  
"Why you..."  
  
Cye grabbed Amariie before she could decapitate Rain. "Girls! Rain's right, we should keep going, despite Ryo and Rowen. We've still got five of us. We can take Talpa!"  
  
Sage was about to hit Cye over the head with reality, but once he opened his mouth, the ground shook. "Shitake!"  
  
The sky turned a bright red, reflecting onto the world below, turning everything the same color.  
  
Sage's eyes bulged out as he saw a small red ball come flying through the parted clouds. "HOLY SHIT! ASTEROID!"  
  
Kento thought about smacking Sage and telling to take a chill pill but once he caught sight of the blazing fire of death, he decided that running for his life and screaming like a 5 year old girl was more important.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"  
  
"KENTO! WAIT UP!"  
  
"Stop PUSHING!"  
  
"That's not me!"  
  
"WRROWW!!" (White Blaze)  
  
"RUNRUNRUNRUN WE'RE GONNA DIIIEEE!"  
  
"EEEEEKKK MY HAIR IS MESSED UP!!"  
  
"ITS THE APOOOOCALYPSE!"  
  
The group ran as fast as they could towards a park forest that lay towards the middle of the city. Hiding behind trees and rocks, they quietly watched the asteroid thing come closer. Without warning, it smashed into the ground less than half a mile away. The explosion rocked the earth and turned everything in sight a horrid red.  
  
When the loud...well...the loud BOOM sound silenced, the five carefully made their way towards the impact.  
  
"Holy fucking damn shit," Rain murmured as they approached a rather large crater with a very small smoking ball in the center.  
  
Cye, Sage, kittie, and Kento jumped and slid down the ledge, leaving the two girls behind.  
  
Amariie scoffed. "Pssh, they always just run off without saying anything. Its like we're obedient dogs, cause we always sit here waiting for them, eh Rain? Rain?" Amariie looked around but it seemed as though Rain had slid down right behind the boys. "Oh fer gods sake..." then she too slid down.  
  
When the three got to the bottom, they noticed it seemed that Anubis had found the ball first. Before they could run to him, the small ball dissolved, leaving two figures.  
  
"ROOOWEENN!!!" Cye shrieked, obviously excited.  
  
Sage was completely blank. Kento lightly pushed his shoulder, a smirk on his face. "Asteroid, ne?" then ran off to follow Cye.  
  
**************************************************************************** *  
  
Anubis had already readied himself to kill a weak Ryo and a sleepy Rowen. He turned his head to see three grinning Ronins come nearly skipping his way. Ryo, on the ground, was the closest to him, so Anubis tied his chain around Ryo's waist and held him up, causing the three to stop in their tracks. White Blaze circled behind them. "I can return right now to Master Talpa and present him with this fine trophy, but since I'm honorable, I'll allow you three to fight me for him." Kento charged forward, "You don't know the meaning of the word!"  
  
Cye laughed. "Yeah it's 9 letters long."  
  
Anubis turned red before he used Ryo as a whip and smashed him into Kento.  
  
"Kento, stay BACK!" yelled Sage leaderly-like.  
  
Kento crawled back towards the others just as Rain and Amariie arrived on the scene.  
  
Ryo was now completely knocked out and limp against Anubis' thick chains.  
  
Sage thought hard and fast. "We can't get near him, it'll only hurt Ryo more."  
  
Cye turned to the green one (no, not Yoda), "We can blast him from a distance. Your attack is precise."  
  
Sage nodded and readied his sword. Just before he was about to attack, a different voice rang out.  
  
"Hey, peachcake! Forget about me?"  
  
Anubis whipped to the side to see a rather miffed Rowen standing with an arrow nocked. His eyes went big as Rowen quickly bellowed out, "ARROW SHOCK WAVE!"  
  
Anubis threw Ryo to the side and watched carefully as the arrow came streaming towards his head. He smiled for just one moment and then caught the arrow, just before it made contact, or did it?  
  
Amariie and Rain gasped as they watched Anubis, holding an arrow to his forehead, stumble to the ground. He forced himself on his knees and then threw the arrow down. "You...you couldn't have...no..." His large helmet cracked loudly and cleaved in two.  
  
Rowen stood frozen, not believing that he just hit Anubis AND it actually did damage.  
  
Anubis stared at the ground as he felt the two halves fall haphazardly to the dirt. Flowing crimson hair was caught by a breeze and flew around his face. His light green eyes, full of disbelief, turned towards the others. A single stream of blood rolled down his nose and onto the ground.  
  
Rain's facial expression softened as Anubis stared right at her. Holyfuckingshit he's not hot he's freaking GORGEOUS, she thought quietly as she smiled at him. His eyes reflected hope that someone would say it wasn't real.  
  
Rowen dropped his bow. "You....you're...a WOMAN?!?"  
  
Giving the genius of the ground a scowl, Sage added, "MAN, Rowen. A MAN." Cye calmly said, "You're human."  
  
Amariie rolled her eyes. "Well DUH he's human. What'd you think? An alien?"  
  
Anubis opened his mouth to say something, but a bright light shone down on him.  
  
A voice roared, "ANUBIS! YOU DUMBASS! DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH THAT HELMET COSTS?!?! It's not everyday you find a dark warlord of cruelty helmet on eBay... NOW GET BACK HERE!"  
  
Anubis seemed very frightened by this. "No! Wait! Please! Don't--" Yet before he could finish, Talpa snatched him up like a toy and returned him to the Dynasty to get one hell of an ass whooping.  
  
All seven stood still as the light died down. Amariie watched Rain as she was obviously lost in her thoughts. "Hey Rainey, you can stop drooling now."  
  
Rain whipped her head. "Wha? I was NOT!"  
  
Kento smirked. "Oh yes you were, I'm a witness."  
  
As Rain and Kento got into a smacking fight, Amariie looked around. A hint of blue caught her eye.  
  
Rowen stood a small distance away, trying to help Sage lift Ryo to his feet, White Blaze nudging his face.  
  
"Rowen!" Amariie yelled and began running towards him.  
  
Rowen raised his head and his eyes lit up as he saw Amariie jogging towards him, her long hair whishing about her. Smiling, he stood up and embraced Amariie with a small "oof."  
  
"You're ok! You're alive!" she cheered happily as she tightened her grip.  
  
Rowen opened his mouth to reply when she quickly shoved him away. "Er... not that I was ... worried or anything... ya know..."  
  
Ryo, now awake, looked up and winked at Rowen, who blushed brightly. The two held each other longer than necessary, but neither complained ((MAN I need a beer after writing this sappy shit...))  
  
Dusk approached, letting the sun slip beneath the horizon. Seven friends stood together amidst the living colors of the sunset, finally reunited. With a new hope and a new change, they could conquer anything.  
  
"I was NOT drooling, Kento!" "Yes you were! You naughty girl!"  
  
:WHACK:  
  
:THUMP:  
  
"Rain, I think you killed him..."  
  
"Good." 


	13. Chapter Twelve

By midday the following day, the eight companions had set out towards downtown Toyama. What they may find there, they did not know. The buildings grew taller around them as the group marched onwards. Soon enough, they could barely see the clouded sky through the skyscrapers. 

Cye's gaze ran through every street they passed, not sure on what direction they were heading in. He turned to Kento, who was walking besides him, and noticed he was quite fidgety. "What's wrong Kento? Bored?" he teased. 

"This is so friggin BORING. Tell me, why did we decide to WALK downtown?" Kento said to no one in particular. 

Ryo was about to tell Kento to keep his trap shut, but Sage interjected. "We've got a better chance on foot. If we brought the van, there's no way we could get through the streets," he said while pointing to the empty cars around them, still stationed in traffic when their owners vanished. 

Amariie and Rain walked in the rear with White Blaze by order of Ryo. He wanted him and the others to walk in front just in case they strolled right into a mess load of soldiers. 

Amariie flipped her long hair over her shoulder and huffed. "Bleh. All this walking is doing a number on my feet. I probably have a blister now." 

Rain snorted with amusement. "Whiner." 

Amariie whipped her head around and glared daggers at her friend. "What?!" 

"Nothing," Rain said quickly while staring off into the distance, not wanting to get into a fight at the moment. Her mind was stuck on the look Anubis gave her the day before. It was full of some emotion. Disbelief that Rowen hit him? Confusion? Or maybe hope? 

Rain was pulled back to reality by Rowen's voice. "Why aren't there any soldiers out here?" 

Sage nodded, agreeing. "I know. It's like they don't care we're here. What if Talpa's organizing them to attack?" 

Rowen glanced at Sage then at the top of a tall building. "Maybe. We can probably see something from up there. If there are any trashcans around." 

Kento stopped and put his hands on his hips. "As long as we use the frickin' elevator, then I'm alright with that." 

Ryo rolled his eyes and made his way inside the building. Amariie and Rain followed suit but he grabbed Rain's arm. "You two stay down here with White Blaze," he said firmly, having a feeling that him and the guys would need some privacy. Amariie crossed her arms. "Like hell we are." 

"Amariie..." said Rain softly. "We can stay here with White Blaze. The boys need to talk." 

Ryo gave her a look of appreciation, then followed the remaining four towards the elevator.   
  


Reaching the roof, Kento walked out towards the edge and looked over. "Hey, There's Rain! I wonder if I can spit on her from here!" 

Ryo gave him a stern look and began looking around for any signs of soldiers. 

It didn't take the skittles boys long to find something. Sticking out like an elderly, wrinkly lady on the cover of Playboy, was a monstrous, Japanese style, red gate standing about a mile away. It was much taller than any buildings around. They then realized that there were more gates making a circular formation around the downtown area of the city. 

Cye's eyes grew wide at the sight of them. "What'd you think they're guarding?" 

Sage leaned forward and gripped the ledge. There was a circular shadow covering downtown. He raised his eyes and gasped. "Um...guys...look up." 

The other four immediately gazed towards the sky and what they saw scared the piss out of them (no, not literally. Although how could they in their armor? Is there like an automatic flusher inside?). Floating above the clouds was a very large, very dark castle. They couldn't see it while on the ground from the blockage of the large grey thought-to-be rain clouds. 

"That's an eye opener," Kento whispered in amazement. 

Ryo began towards the elevator. "Come on, let's go to that gate." 

"Wait, Ryo," began a worried Sage. "What about the girls? We can't take them inside." 

Cye detached his eyes from the castle. "They'll get killed." 

"And they're a liability to us. We have to focus on defeating Talpa, not protecting them all the time," finished Sage. 

Ryo lowered his head. "We can't take them with us and we can't leave them here alone. We'll leave Blaze here to watch them." 

Kento laughed. "Amariie and Rain won't like this one bit." 

Sage scoffed. "This is serious, Kento! This whole thing is serious! Who knows if how long we'll be gone. Leaving them here is like telling them that we're going to finish this entire thing on our own and we don't need them," he said quickly, then made his way down the building.   
  


Rain leaned against a light post while Amariie was checking her feet for blisters. White Blaze, who was lying down, lifted his head when Ryo came walking out of the building. Rain smiled at him, but he did not return it. 

"Let's go," he said shortly. 

Thirty minutes later, and after explaining the gates to the girls, they reached the large red doorway. Amariie looked straight up to examine the gates, occasionally loosing her balance while Ryo stood in front of it, gazing into the darkened downtown area with a sour look on his face. The other Ronins stood, waiting for Ryo to break it to their girls that they couldn't join them anymore. They didn't know if they'd even return or if Rain and Amariie would be safe while the war took place. 

Rain took a side glance at a silent Ryo. "Ryo?" she began. 

He looked up at her and tried to smile but failed miserably. "We need to go in." 

"So we're going to finally make our way into Talpa's castle," she sighed, wondering how long they've been waiting for this moment. 

"Not we," Ryo said quietly. He hated telling people bad news, especially now. 

Rain raised an eyebrow and Amariie joined her side. "What do you mean?" she asked, but secretly knowing what he meant. 

"Um..you and Amariie are to stay here...with White Blaze. The guys and I will continue into Talpa's castle and defeat him." 

Amariie blinked, confused. "You mean you're ditching us?" 

Sage entered in. "We're not dit-" 

"And you're going to finish this whole thing without US?" she said, her anger beginning to rise. "Is that it?!" 

Ryo tried to keep his calm, but he could feel it slipping. "We have no other choice. If you two come with us, then we have to worry about protecting you when we should be--" 

"You did NOT just say that," the blonde said loudly. "You did not just tell us that we are fucking extra BAGGAGE." 

Rain watched the scene unfold before her eyes, trying not to get angry herself. 

"We are not going to SIT here on our ASSES and WAIT for you to COME back days maybe WEEKS later, if you COME BACK AT ALL!!" 

Rowen was taken aback by Amariie's yelling spree. "Amarii-" 

"Let me finish, Rowen," she said quickly but not bothering to look at him. Hey eyes were fixed on Ryo. "You all could DIE out there! If you do then we're SCREWED back here! I don't care what you say, Flambe' Boy, but I am going with yo-" 

:SMACK: 

Rain widened her eyes. Rowen's face grew red. Kento, Cye, and Sage gasped simultaneously. Amariie was on the ground, holding a light red cheek. Ryo stared at the ground. 

Rain growled once she realized what he did. "Why the FUCK did you do that, Ryo? HUH? Why did you feel the need to hit her?" she said deadly as she walked up to him and shoved him in the chest. "Well?" She stole a quick glance to Amariie. "Amariie, you ok?" 

She laid there, silently. Her eyes began to fill with tears. With one quick look to Rowen, as if wanting him to do something, she stood up and ran off into the darkness. 

Rain turned her sharp eyes to Ryo, who was still looking at the ground, obviously ashamed of what he did. "Look at me, Ryo." His blue eyes met hers. 

:SMACK: 

Ryo fell backwards into Cye's arms, his left cheek bleeding. Rain kept her eyes on his as she clenched her white fists. "Don't you EVER do that again." 

Kento growled loudly and charged Rain, smacking her in the face, hard. She barely flinched as she felt the hot pain along her nose. Sage's face turned to anger and he smacked Kento hard in the back of the head. Kento whipped around and shoved Sage into Rowen. Cye then gave Kento a good whap on his back and had to duck when Kento tried to retaliate. 

Rowen, who's quiet rage was about to erupt, yelled, "GUYS! We have a duty to do here! Stop this!" 

Immediately, the fighting stopped. Rain still stared at Ryo. 

"You have lost my respect," she said lowly, then turned and walked away to find Amariie. 

Ryo watched her back until he couldn't see her anymore. He was pushed sharply to the side as Rowen walked swiftly towards the gate, not bothering to saying anything to Ryo. The black haired man ran his metal fingers through his hair and sighed. "Come on, we have to go now." 

Sage, now calmed down some and out of character said nervously, "Will we ever see them again?" 

Ryo turned around to face them and put a hand on Sage's shoulder. After a moment's pause, he said, "Don't worry, I'm sure we will. Besides, nothing can hold them back long." Ryo turned to White Blaze, who was standing obediently out of the way. "Go on, boy." 

With a quick, loving look to his friends, White Blaze bounded off into the alleys to find Rain and Amariie. 

Then the five brothers walked into the shadowland with not much to fight for in their hearts.   
  


Amariie just kept running, hot tears flooding out of her eyes. It didn't even hurt that much, but the fact that he actually HIT her hurt. 'We're supposed to be comrades. I thought we were anyways... ' she thought miserably, finally flinging herself on the ground to finish bawling. 

It was then Rain and White Blaze came upon their friend. "'Ariie, you ok?" she asked softly, kneeling down. 

Her crying dwindled down to ragged breathing and the occasional sniffle. "Rain... I thought we were a team. But, we were useless, we just got in their way," she whimpered, keeping her eyes downcast. "We weren't any help at all." 

White Blaze nudged the small blonde's shoulder is disagreement. Rain pondered upon her words. 'Is she right? Are we out of our league?' Placing a hand on her shoulder, she began, "Amariie..." 

Amariie stood up with a defiant look in her eyes. "We should just go home, Rainey."   
  


Standing high above the two young women, an ageless man looked down, slight frown hidden beneath his spacious head-gear. 'They must let go of these doubts. It's the only way to beat Talpa... and save the Ronin Warriors...'   
  


Rain was speechless. Was she really considering this? 'No, Amariie was wrong. She had to be!' She gave Amariie a glare and retorted," We're not going anywhere! I don't give a shit what that red-bikini wearing sissy says, they need us and by-god we are NOT gonna be shoved aside like last-year's boy band! If we leave all that was green and good in this world will be gone! There won't BE a shire, Pippin!" 

":ahem: wrong movie..." 

"oh...:throws away script in hand and pulls out another: anyways...your line." 

Amariie backed off, "Whoa, have you been taking estrogen pills?" 

Rain snarled and grabbed her by the elbow, dragging her back to where she so unelegantly fled prior to this event. White Blaze, of he had lips, would have smiled, but since he doesn't, one did for him. 

Rain and Amariie stormed through the streets, jaws set, when something whizzed by there heads, neatly sniping off a few loose strands of hair from each, and landed smack dab in the middle of the street. It was that staff! Amariie snatched it up and danced around. "I'm gonna be the hero-girl now! Ye-ah!" 

With a light struggle, Rain pryed the golden rod from the blonde's fingers and was seriously contemplating giving her a good stiff whack with it. "This *she pointed to herself* Rain. This *she pointed to the staff* not to be played with. This *she raised her palm* smack on head." 

And did so. 

"OOhhhh!!! I wanna play..." our pink-clad female whimpered, trailing behind Rain.   
  


"Don't worry Ryo, it'll be better off this way," Cye attempted to make his voice sound cheery, but failed horribly. 

Ryo kept his eyes ahead and a sad yet determined look etched on his face. The five boys journeyed deeper into the city, dark mists thickening around them. Suddenly, an all-to-familiar laugh floated through the streets. Not feeling like messing around, the boys automatically got into their transformation positions. 

"ARMOUR OF HARDROCK!" 

"..STRATA!" 

"..TORRENT!" 

"..HALO!" 

"..WILDFIRE!" 

The echoes of their voices died down, and much to their surprise, they found themselves staring at sub-armoured palms. 

"What the f-" Kento gasped, only to be cut off by more laughter. 

"What's wrong Ronins? Too scared to fight this time?" 

Dais. That shithead. 

"WHAT DID YOU DO!" Ryo bellowed, feeling the full forced of unbridled rage seeping into his limbs. 

The spider-lord dove down from an aloft position to greet the five livid faces. "I did nothing. It's what I'm going to do that you should fear!" 

A loud, high-pitched whistling noise erupted through the air. The boys shot their heads to the sky, hands over their ears, and saw what appeared to be a large dome towering over them. Wind came from nowhere yet everywhere all at once. Quickly dashing across the dome were figures holding musical instruments. The horrid tunes resembled old Japanese funeral music. Then again, no one probably cares. 

Kento was now officially pissed. "What the hell, spidey?! Too afraid to take us on with our armors, EH?!" 

Dais smiled as his opponent's brashness. "It would be stupid of me to allow you to access your armors so freely. Badamon's little friends will make sure of that." 

Ryo raised an eyebrow. "Badamon? What, is that a pokemon or someth--" 

Yet the leader was cut off by an increase in loudness from the winds, apparently the source of their armor's power being shut down. Breaths of dark air began encircling the troop, causing their vision to become blocked. Ryo tried to feel around for his friends, his eyes no longer useful in the clouded mist. His hand felt armor and tried to grab hold of it, but a small 'yelp' was heard and the owner of the armor was gone. Ryo frantically felt for the others, but one by one, each vanished into thin air once he would find one. A gleeful laughter sounded when Ryo realized he was the only one left. 

"Dais, you girly-man! Why don't you come out and face me?" Ryo yelled into nothingness. 

The purr of the warlord's voice echoed through Ryo's ears. "Fine then. Here I AM!" 

Without any given warning, Ryo's arms were tied to his side and he began flying straight upwards into the air. He landed with a bouncy yet tight feeling. Opening his eyes, he realized he was now probably a hundred feet in the air, suspended in a web like a moth. 

"What the FRUIT?! Dais you FLUFFER! I oughta shove a banana in your eye!" Ryo yelled. 

Kento, who hung upside down nearby, mentioned to Ryo, "Um Ryo, this isn't Cartoon Network. You can cuss on here." 

Ryo blinked. "Oh. Well then. WHATTHEFUCKDAISYOUFUCKER!" 

Feeling the need to visit his friend, Dais lowered himself next to an POed Ryo. "What were you saying about a banana?" he said, hiding his laughter. 

"I oughta rape you with a CACTUS," Ryo said threateningly. 

Dais pretend winced. "Ooo that would suck."   
  


Rain jogged towards the red gate, conveniently opened by Kento. Amariie followed behind her with White Blaze, out of breath from the nice jog. 

The silver haired gripped the staff as she suddenly felt dizzy. Looking straight to the top of a building nearby as if in a trance, she saw a small figure staring at her. 'Use the staff's power, Rain.' 

'Who are you?' Rain questioned in her head. 

'You will see in time. Check ya later.' Then the voice vanished. 

Rain was shaken out of her trance by Amariie. "Dude, we kinda gotta hurry. If you would direct your eyes thataway, you will see our dummy little friends in a bind...literally..." 

Rain blinked and looked towards what Amariie was pointing at. There was a rather large spider web strung out between several buildings, and six small dots positioned around it. "Oh good god, not him again," Rain groaned. 

Amariie smirked. "Let's go kick his ass." 

"K." 

The three made their way over to the gate and Amariie stepped through, then well she was attacked by a huge gust of wind, and fell ungracefully on her bum. Rain muffled laughter when she saw Amariie's goddess-like hair all around her in matts. 

Amariie growled. "That is SO not funny, Rain! That hurt! OH DEAR GOD MY HAIR!" she screamed as she felt her locks. 

Rain rolled her eyes. "Too bad we don't have your 32 different hair products here." 

:WHACK: 

The blonde stood all too happy as Rain clenched her head, a nice bump forming on it from Amariie's ultimate attack weapon: her purse. 

"What the hell do you have in there?! A WALRUS?!" 

Amariie blinked innocently. "Just makeup." 

After a few minutes of recovering, Rain held up the staff and lead the way through the gate. The staff blocked all the winds from the three as they jogged towards the massive web. 

Dais had detached Ryo from the web and was now playing yo-yo with him--Ryo being the yo-yo. Dais hummed happily as he did the Walk the Ryo trick. Movement to his left caught his attention. Spinning around, he frowned when he saw the two girls and White Blaze. 

"So decided to join us then?" he asked fluidly. 

Ryo lifted his pounding head. "AMARIIE! RAIN! GET OUT OF HERE!" he screamed desperately. 

Dais left Ryo in his nice impression in the cement and began walking towards the girls menacingly. White Blaze trotted off without being seen towards the large web. Grabbing it with his teeth, he began chewing away the strings of the web. 

Rain shifted her grip on the staff and stationed herself in an attack stance. Dais laughed with amusement at the sight of this weak girl threatening HIM of all people. Sure he could imagine her doing it to Cale or Anubis, but not him. He was just too perfect and strong for that. Dais suddenly ran towards her, attempting to break her neck. Amariie threw herself back as Dais approached quickly. 

:THWHACK: 

Dais gripped his cheek before he knew what happened. Rain was now the one smiling after she delivered a nice smack to pretty boy's head. 

"Ye gods, girl! Watch the face!" Dais yelled sulkingly. 

While he was down, she pulled the bottom of the staff to connect with Daisy's crotch. He whimpered slightly and fell to the ground. He could already hear the hysterical laughter from the guys and Talpa. Amariie grinned widely as her and Rain ran over to Ryo. 

Rain leaned on the staff as she leaned over him. "Yo Ryo. Get up." 

Ryo gave her a weird look and then promptly passed out as he always does from getting his ass kicked EVERY SINGLE TIME. 

Dais tried to stand up, but everything below his waist hurt like the dickens. So he settled on taking a nunchuku and throwing it at the evil girl who nearly destroyed his manhood and any hope for future children. 

As it was in mid-air, Amariie whirled around and hit the deck, yelling for Rain to do the same. Yet Rain spun around and held up the staff in reflex. The in-air weapon stopped in the air and disintegrated. A powerful yellow light began radiating from the staff. Dais suddenly recognized what it was and began praying for his life. The light seeped into everything around it for a brief second, then grew dull. 

The loud whistling noises were completely gone and Amariie saw a few scattered spirits in the air flying for the life. The winded dome was now gone. White Blaze, who had a knack for timing, had chewed through the last strands of the web, causing the four warriors to drop down. 

Taking a gander around, Rowen yelled, "WOOT! We can call our armor!" 

Being way to happy for their own good, they called their armor without any interruption. 

A grin spread across a resurrected Ryo's lips as the last flowered toilet paper strand fluttered out of existence. "Hey cheese-dick, it's PAYBACK TIME! FLARE UP NOW!" 

Dais' eye widened to unnatural proportion as a red wave of flame connected with what was left of his body. Big ouchie.   
  


"..and then I racked that suck-ah in the nuts and freed you all," Rain ended proudly, retelling their epic tale while the five flavours listened. 

Ryo lowered his head, once again, in guilt. "I'm sorry I said that," he turned to Amariie, who was frantically brushing out the nether spirit-induced tangles, "and I'm reeeeally sorry for hitting you..." 

She shrugged. "Meh, it's all good. Besides, you hit like a girl." 

"WHAT?!?!" 

"Kidding!" 

Sage chuckled and nudged his hot-headed friend. Ryo blushed. Amariie caught Sage's glance and smirked. 

"Now, now Ryo, you've apologized to me, now its time for Rainey. Kiss and make up," her grin spread further. 

Ryo's face matched his armour and Rain sent a death glare to Amariie. 

"DIE BITCH!" she hollered and took off after her, prepared to batter her with the staff. 

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkk!" 


	14. Chapter Thirteen

INTRODUCTION: 

Once upon a time, deep within the non-subterranean, not-quite-caverns of Talpa's castle, there was a big metal meanie named Talpa who wanted to rule the mortal world. This meanie had other, little metal dollies that he sent out to do mean things, like say, kill the Ronin Warriors, Talpa's arch-enemies. 

Now one day, Talpa decided to send out two of his dollies. One with pretty green eyes and red hair, and the other with pretty silver hair and a blue eye. 

Talpa was not a happy camper. Pretty-eyed dollie broke his brand new helmet that Talpa got for $99.99 plus tax from eBay, while Pretty-haired dollie got ... well, burnt to a crisp and ridiculed by the Ronins. 

What Talpa decided to do, was slap Pretty-haired dollie across the face and sent him to his room, while Pretty-eyed dollie got shoved in a pool of orange goop. Why? We don't know.   
  


ON WITH THE SHOW...:   
  


"MASTER TALPA! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" Anubis shrieked, thrashing around in the orange goop while his superior watched from above. 

Talpa rolled his non-existent eyes. "Be-CUZ, you silly goose, you ruined your brand new helmet. Now how am I going to get this fixed? They don't make feudal Japanese samurai helmets like they used to! And besides," he paused to sip at his coffee, "you lost to the Ronins again." 

Anubis jumped up and down, bouncing off the liquid's surface due to the water-wags on his arms. "But Taaaaalllllllllpa...." 

"Don't whine! You sound like Cale!" 

"Pwwwwwwwetty pwwwwwwease lemme out!" 

"ARRGH! THAT IS IT YOUNG... ermmm.... NOT-REALLY-YOUNG-IN-THE-SENSE-YOUTH, BUT-YOUNG-LOOKING MAN!" Talpa stood and reached into his pocket to produce a small red and white ball. 

"BADAMON! I CHOOSE YOU!" and Talpa hurled the thing. It opened in mid-air and out popped the blue Nether spirit-lord. 

"Bada-bada...ahem, yes Lord Talpa?" the blue-thing's whiny voice asked. 

Talpa smirked. "I think Anubis needs to be ... properly adjusted to better fight with the Ronins." 

Anubis' eyes widened, "NO! Please Master! Don't .... please no! ARGGHH!"   
  


In another part of Talpa's spooky palace, Dais was sulking, sitting atop a large bag of ice. "Stupid Talpa, stupid Ronins, stupid girl, stupid staff..." he mumbled on, petting his plushie spider-shaped pillow, affectionately known as Mooshy. "At least you wuv me Mooshy." 

"How touching." 

Dais snapped his head up to see a grinning Cale in the doorway. 

Shit. 

"Master Talpa wanted to see you Dais," Cale smirked some more, then added, "that is, if he can pull you away from your precious time with Mooshy." 

"ARGGH!" 

A flying digital alarm clock connected with Cale's forehead, knocking the little shit out cold. 

Dais carefully lifted his bruised crotch from the ice and gave Mooshy a quick kiss before snuggling him under the covers. Hey, stuffed animals have feelings too!   
  


Meanwhile...   
  


Meanwhile...   
  


....   
  


((NEO STOP IT! FER GOODNESS SAKE IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY!)) 

:Neo chokes on a Skittles mint, keels over, and dies from laughing so goddamn hard:   
  


Anyways...   
  


The :counts fingers and mumbles: um...eight darkened figures walked closely towards the center of downtown. Having no earthly idea on how to get into Talpa's crib (which was 90 degrees upward), they decided that the best plan was to walk around aimlessly until they found a way. 

Rain clutched the staff and kept giving her female blonde companion glances to make sure she didn't need to use the age old staff on her. Ryo walked towards the back of the group, still wondering if Amariie and Rain had truly forgiven him. Sage separated the girls from the boys as they walked farther into the dark streets. 

Sage quickened his step to walk next to Amariie. "So, 'arrie...you probably need to stay close to me while we're here. It could be dang--" 

"OH MY GOD!" Amariie squealed as her eyes found a designer store a few blocks down. "THAT'S YVETTE CORLEIA'S DESIGNER STORE! I thought they were only in L.A.!!!" She then proceeded to skip towards the glass front. 

Sage, obviously peeved, yelled, "You whore! Get back here before you get lost!" 

Rain narrowed her eyes. 

:THWACK: 

"No one calls MY bitch a whore. You got it?" Rain said as she held her staff, which just met Sage's head. 

Sage nodded. 

"Good," she said. "Amariie! Get back here you whore!" Rain followed Amariie to make sure she didn't break into the store. 

The others laughed at the scene, but the cheeriness died down once the fog came rolling in, separating the two girls from the Skittle Squad and their kitty.   
  


GETTING BACK TO THINGS...:   
  


Dais waited patiently in front on Talpa, while the big metal dude finished off his drink and placed it beside his lawn chair, elegantly spread out in front on the pond of glowing orange goo + red-headed warlord. Dais snickered at Anubis' undignified position. If only he had a camera... 

"Dais, I have a job for you," Talpa began. 

Dais, eyes still on Anubis, replied, "No shit sherlock..." 

"WHAT?!" The armoured giant roared in anger. 

Dais = sweatdrop = red eye beams + ass = ouch 

Anyways... 

"I will ignore that smartass remark, Dais, for you are going to infect one of the Ronins with the most dangerous infections." Dais raised and eyebrow, prompting Talpa to continue. "Fear and doubt." 

Still thinking Talpa was a severe nut-case, Dais obediently nodded and exited the room, grinning to himself when he noticed a sore-headed Cale scurry out of his way as he past him in the hallway.   
  


Rain jogged after the ditz as she was admiring some furry tan colored jackets in the store window. "Amariie! It would be highly advisable to not run off at this particular moment..." She breathed while leaning on the staff. 

Amariie turned to inform Rain about the new fall fashion but her halted her words. 

"Um..Where are the others?" she asked, pointing behind Rain. 

Looking back, all she saw was shadow. "Oh crud." 

Sage cupped his hands over his mouth to expel his voice. "AMARIIE! WHERE ARE YOU!?" Yet the only thing that returned was his echo. 

Rowen with his arms crossed paced back and forth on the street corner where they had stopped to search for the missing girls. 

Cye rolled his head to the wind dude. "Ro, sit down for a while. You're starting to make a pacing path in the concrete." 

The black haired leader stretched out his leg. "I'm sure they'll be fine. Rain's got the staff and if some soldiers attack, she'll go DBZ on their asses." 

Amariie clutched Rain's sleeve. "So you will go DBZ on their asses if cans appear...r-right?" she stuttered. 

"Oh good god, stop being so nervous. We'll be fine." 

:Metal-footstep-sound: 

"YOU SAID WE'D BE FINE! :WHACK:" 

Rain would have smacked Amariie back if it wasn't for the Dynasty soldiers coming out of mists. She gave Amariie a good shove in some general direction and yelled at her to run. And run she did. 

The soldiers marched towards them and seemed to gain distance on them, despite their slow speed. There were too many for Rain to fight off and they seemed to be multiplying by the second. A dull white sign bearing Japanese symbols and a red arrow point down separated from the black shadows around them. 

Rain cried out, "Go for that! I think it's a subway!" 

Amariie nodded and scooted her butt to the stone stairs leading downwards. Rain followed her friend closely behind as they descended into the underground. When they reached the bottom, Rain threw down the staff with a loud clanging sound and pulled close the emergency doors. As soon as they slammed shut, the darkness crept through. 

"Well, Rainey. This was a great idea..." 

"Don't start with me.. just don't." Rain sneered back, feeling the ground for the staff. She found it, and to her surprise it gave off a faint golden light when she held it up. "Heh, hope this baby takes rechargable batteries..." 

The two crept down the passage and soon noticed they were in what seemed to be an underground parking lot. Amariie containing more than her share of the undistributed fear, clung to Rain's green shirt. Rain rolled her eyes. Amariie could be such a chicken-sh... 

::VRRRROOOMMMM:: 

An unoccupied car slammed right into a large concrete pillar, barely missing the two girls. They were betting that it wasn't on purpose that it missed. 

The sound of screeching tires caught Rain's attention and she pushed Amariie out of the way, jabbing the staff into the hood, deftly pulling off a pole-vaulting, Legolas-on-horse stunt, landing safely behind the car. 

"Run dammit!" Rain called out to Amariie's retreating form, turning to face yet another possessed automobile. Unfortunately, Rain didn't see the other car aimed towards her, and promptly froze before becoming what would later be identified as road-kill. 

::SMASH:: ::CLUNK:: 

Two armoured bodies appeared in front of our damsel in distress and made modern art out of the cars. Exhaling a large gust of air, Rain smiled at Sage and Cye, her two saviors. 

Sage grinned and dashed off to do some more car vandalizing, Cye close behind, while Rain took the hint and ran after where she thought Amariie was headed.   
  


The staff's iridescent glow softly filled the cement hallways of the underground system. She jogged a ways, hoping to see Amariie's blonde hair ahead of her. She didn't dare call out to her friend, knowing that some evil beings are probably lurking around somewhere. Then again her staff-turned-lamp would give her away anyways. 

"Bitch? You there?" 

Nothing replied to her call, so Rain sighed and jogged onwards in hope of finding something.   
  


Amariie fearfully walked down a large corridor, her eyes darting across the dark walls. She would squeak in surprise whenever a small rat or a shadow would cross her path, yet she kept determination to keep going. She thought she heard Rain come down here, but the echoes of voices had long since passed. A few minutes later, Amariie came across a large opening. Once her eyes adjusted to the bleak colored air, she realized she was standing in the middle of a subway station. 

"Well hell! How am I supposed to get out now?? I'm going to be completely tanless by the time I get out of here," she whimpered as she crossed the floor to find a way out. 

Her crystal blue eyes covered the high walls, looking out for anything to fall in her hair. As she took another step, her foot did not connect with the ground as it should have. Instead, gravity took over and her body fell a few feet. Landing with a loud "oof," Amariie looked around to find herself lying on a train track. She carefully picked herself up and made sure not to touch the rails. A dozen movie moments floated back to when a hero(ine) has landed on train tracks and they make sure not to touch the metal. If they didn't do it, then surely Amariie found that as a good reason to not touch anything at all. 

"Good thing the electricity's out or else I'd--" 

:WOOT WOOT: 

A bright light pierced through the mists and landed directly on Amariie. She gasped loudly as this nightmare came true. The light obviously belonged to a still train lurking a few dozen meters in front of the blondie. The tracks began to rumble in the darkness as the light grew bigger. Putting the two together, she guessed that the train was moving towards her; how fast, it didn't matter to her. 

She frantically tried to pull herself up onto the platform, but something had grabbed her ankle. She whimpered as she noticed that her foot was wedged tightly between two broken wooden boards. Amariie yanked at her leg to make it move but it wouldn't budge. 

She stared at the light growing bigger and bigger. "FUCKETY FUCK!" she shrieked. "LEGGO NOOOW!!" 

Just as the large shiney train was nearly on top of her and Amariie had prayed to every deity ever conceived, something wrapped itself around her waist and with a sharp pull, she was laying on the safe platform. She opened her eyes to find Rowen lying next to her, gazing at the train passing by. 

"R-rowen?" she squeaked, not sure if it were a dream. 

He looked at her and smiled. "Yeah. You ok?" he asked, concerned. 

She nodded but when she tried to get up, her foot gave away beneath her. Rowen caught her just before she fell and both of them blushed deeply. "Ok maybe I'm not ok. HOLY CRAP MY SHOE!" 

Limping over to the edge, she saw her forlorn shredded pink boot laying alone on the track. "That thing cost me $300! WHAA!" 

Rowen gently took her arm and guided her over to a bench nearby. "I'm sure you can find another pair. Here, sit here. You're ankle's hurt." 

She obeyed his request and let him take a look at her ankle. It was cut a little, but it still hurt like the dickens. After a few moments of him wrapping a piece of tissue around her foot and Amariie enjoying the hell out of it, they sat together in silence. 

Amariie looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. "Um...thanks for saving me." 

Rowen blushed again. "N-no problem. It's what I do, heh." 

"Where are the others?" she questioned softly. 

He shrugged. "No clue. We'll find them though." 

Slowly, she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I hope so." 

After a hesitation, he put his head on top of hers, both content in each other's company. "We will."   
  


Rain, feeling a stinging feeling in the back of her throat from the yelling, kept running. Screw if the whole Netherworld heard it, it wasn't safe to be alone in this condition. After Goddess-knows-how-long, Rain heard sounds of swords clashing. A little up the tunnel, she came to another parking lot, this one occupied by a brown figure and a green figure. 

"Black Lightning Flash!" 

"Sage!" Rain called out, suddenly taken aback by the hoarseness of her voice. The two fighters didn't hear her. 

Streams of ...well black lightning sprung out of Cale's sword and pummeled Sage. The blonde warrior couldn't fight them all off, and it seems as though Cale was winning this fight. The black energy cords bound tightly around him, sucking his strength and squeezing the breath out of him. Black electricity swam all over Sage's body, rendering him useless 

Miffed at her non-existence, Rain charged at Cale, determined to free the playboy. She yelled and the staff burst into light, shredding apart Cale's black lightning and rendering Cale harmless for the moment. Cale blinked in confusion and winced around for the source of the light. A tall figure stood nonchalantly with the staff of light. While Sage was trying to regain composure, Rain distracted the Warlord of Darkness...or Corruption....or something. 

"I don't believe we've met. My name is Rain and we're about to kick your ass. Have a nice day," she called out to him. 

Cale growled like a wolf and pointed his sword at Rain. "You, girl, are no match for me! YAH!" A bolt of inky electricity shot at her, yet the staff blocked it just in time. 

"Geez, that would have sucked..." 

Sage gained back his...well...Sageness and was about to effectively kick warlord booty. 

"Thunder Bolt Cut!" he cried out, striking his sword right at Cale. 

Game over for Cale. Rain ran over and gave Sage a hearty whack on the back. 

"So, where are the others," she asked, already dreading his answer. 

"You're guess is as cool as mine, chicka," he muttered, pushing the thick poofy hair out of his eye. 

Rain sighed and cocked a head towards the stairs up to the streets above. Sage nodded and the two ascended. 

Sage climbed the stairs first, to make sure the swarm of soldiers was still there or not. Finding the coast clear, he motioned for Rain to come on out. Once they were out on the streets again, Rain sat down on a corner. 

"So since ya'll don't carry cell phones or beepers on those armored suits, how do we find the others?" she asked quizzically. 

Sage joined her side and leaned back. "We wait."   
  


An exhausted Ryo, a tense White Blaze, and a breathless Cye came jogging into sight soon afterwards, obviously they found themselves somewhere in the underground. Forty minutes later, Rowen came bounding into the area with the blondie accompanied by an unusually quiet Kento. Rowen sat down with Amariie to take a breather. Kento, eyes to the ground, stayed on the outside of the group. Ryo gave him a questioned look, but his friend did not return it. 

"Kento? What's wrong?" Cye asked his best friend. 

Kento looked up silently with a stone face. "Nothing," he said, then walked in the opposite direction to lean against a street light. 

Cye's face scrunched, worried about his friends obvious state. "Kento, wha-" 

The sea warrior's voice was offset by a loud rumbling sound that cracked the street beneath their feet.   
  


~Flashback~   
  


The dark lord Talpa stood, watching mercilessly as Anubis' strength quickly faded. The other three warlords stood behind him, also observing the event. Yes, it was cruel and full of malice but it was quite necessary for the occasion. Badamon had already sent his spirits into Anubis' body, tearing and ripping apart his spirit to make way for evil. Now Anubis hung nearly limp against the threads of physical evil slime. With a quick motion with his hand, Talpa's power was unleashed and it weaved itself into the fallen warlord's body. Anubis screamed one final scream of agony and then his empty eyes glowed bright red. Anubis of Cruelty was no more.   
  


~Flashback end~   
  


Ryo's eyes quickly found the source of the quake. Turning, he saw a figure with shadows of darkness strung about it. The figure came from the deep stairwell they had used moments before. As it ascended the steps, its face came into the lighter air above ground. The red hair was a giveaway but the aura about it made them think twice. 

Anubis stood tall and powerful in his full armor, only lacking his helmet. The boys barely saw small jolts of red electricity flow around his body and they knew that this man not who they thought it was. 

Rain stepped forward as her heart stopped. Something had changed the warlord from a loyal and honorable servant of Talpa to a mindless and destructive slave. His eyes carried no more emotion and his smile was of pure cruelty. 

Ryo made no hesitation and called his armor, hoping the others would follow suit. 

"Armor of Wildfire! Tao JIN!" 

"Strata! Tao INOCHI!" 

"Halo! Tao CHI!" 

"Torrent! Tao Shin!" 

Amariie and Rain backed up to give their friends room, White Blaze by their side. Amariie's back hit someone else and thinking it was another warlord or lackey, she whirled around and nearly knocked him out with her Purse of Death. 

"Kento?" she asked. "Why aren't you fighting?" 

Kento stared at the ground. "I can't," he said weakly. 

Sage happened to turn around and noticed Kento in the back. "Kento! Get up here and call your armor!" 

When the said friend did not move, Ryo and the others turned, too, yet keeping an eye on Anubis at the same time. 

"Kento?" Ryo asked, very lost. 

A loud cackle caught their attention. Anubis laughed loudly. "It seems to me as though your friend has lost his faith! How pitiful!" 

The others gasped and Ryo's eyes widened. "It's not true...is it, Kento?" 

Anubis lead on. "Hardrock has been shown the light," he said as he raised his head to seem more glorious. "He knows the truth now."   
  


~Flashback~   
  


Short fat orange dude wandering through subway tunnels all by his fat short lonesome, when he comes across a small baggie on the ground. The contents of this bag happen to be a white powder. Being the dumbass that he is, he decides to smell the contents to see what it is. 

::Ten minutes and a mind trip later:: 

Short fat orange dude is wandering through a field, glowing from a sunset frozen on the horizon. Suddenly, five figures pop up from the grass and start attacking him! Oh dear. Well, as he fights back, he notices that they five figures are the armours of his friends, the Ronin Warriors. Rather distraught, he decides to crumple to the ground and shake like jello. 

Now Mr. Dais comes along and laughs at the quivering blob of Kento, and rubs it in his pudgy face. 

"Your armours were meant for battle. They belong to Talpa. Come join us!" he beckoned loudly. 

Kento decides to act like a man (for once). "No! Talpa is evil! .... hang on, what the hell am I doing in this place?" 

"You sniffed my dark Crack of Illusion." 

"Oh" 

"Yeah, so giddy-up. I gotta pedicure in 10 minutes," Dais said while leaning casually on one leg. 

"No, you evil.... um warlord!" 

::Dais sucker-punches Kento in the face:: "Moron" and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. 

Kento blacks out, and then wakes up to find himself sniffling like mad. Anyways, he is also filled with the doubt Dais has placed in his heart. 'Anubis was human... the warlords were human. Were they like us? Was he right? Shit! This sucks! I was totally hoping to be the hero, and maybe even get laid for once, but nooo, I gotta end up being evil...'   
  


Flashback End:   
  


Ryo gave Kento a hard look, wishing that what Anubis was saying was just some sort of Warlord-Dais'-Flour-Sniffy-Stuff-Trip. "Kento?" he asked, waiting for his friend to fill in the rest. 

Kento stared at the ground, hoping he'd disappear. "If I put on the armor, I'll turn evil." 

Cye gasped loudly. "Wha?!" 

Sage gave Anubis a glance and when he thought the warlord wouldn't pull a move on them, he slowly asked, "Kento...what are you saying?" 

Anubis grinned widely. He was enjoying this too much to interfere. 

Kento sighed deeply. "Our armors...the Ronin armors....are the same as theirs," he said lowly while pointing towards Anubis. 

Ryo and the others spun their heads towards the all too happy warlord and shot out their own confused yells. 

Rowen stepped forward. "Whatever you've told Kento, you're lying. We're not like you." 

The warlord smiled tauntingly, "Oh but we are. We are brothers. The armor we wear was born from the same womb." 

Angered by Anubis trying to trick them, Ryo screamed, "You're LYING!" and then lunged at him, sword in hand. 

All at once with Ryo's movement, a fight erupted. Rain and Amariie backed away, trying to find some shelter. Between the weapons and the girls stood a single man. Kento's eyes were still locked on the ground beneath him, contemplating Dais' words of poison. 

The warlord of cruelty was far too powerful for the Ronins, despite their recent jumps in power. Anubis swatted away the boys like flies and he laughed gleefully with every move. The four were seriously getting hurt even with their armor on. Within a few minutes, they're energy was nearly out. Sage was lying on his side, trying to get up while Cye's limp form laid a few feet away. Rowen was on one knee, gasping for breath while Ryo was desperately trying to fight an invincible Anubis with White Blaze aiding him. 

Rain and Amariie could only watch on as all hope seeped away through the cracks of uncertainty (LOL that sounds professional. Either that or really cheesy). The taller one gripped the Ancient's staff, hoping she wouldn't have to fight Anubis because A. He's pretty tough and B. he's just pretty. 

When Ryo and White Blaze were both down and Anubis was about to deliver the final blow on the unsuspecting weaklings, Amariie turned to Rain. "What do we--" her eyes met the staff "DUH! We're dumbasses! Give me that!" and with that, Amariie sprinted off to kick the warlord's ass. Kento, who we all forgot about and was standing next to Rain the entire time, tried to grab ahold of her but all he could get a grip on was Amariie's purse. 

"Amariie! WAIT!" he screamed, but knowing it was too late. 

Anubis raised his chain high and looked to the sky, sensing his fellow warlords and Talpa watching on. "Quake...With....FE-" 

"HEY BUCKETHEAD!" 

Being the dumb lackey he is, he paused and turned to see the blonde running towards him with the staff in her hand. 

She slowed down a bit and yelled, "I hope Talpa showed you how to pull a Ancient's staff out of your ASS!" 

Without being taken back by her courageous words, he used his chain like a whip and snapped it at Amariie. A dull red glow sprouted from the end, hitting Amariie head on. The staff fell from her hands with a clang and her body hit the cement hard. Her blonde hair spilled out on the ground as he eyes closed. A weak Rowen nearby tried to cry out but his voice was lost. He crawled slowly over to her and cradled her head. 

"Amariie..." he whispered, eyes filling with tears and knowing this was the end of them all. 

The general of malice laughed at the scene before him. Rain and Kento had arrived just as Amariie fell. Rain's eyes flashed silver and she spoke to the warlord. "I don't know what's happened to you but you will die for this TREACHERY!" 

Kento had kneeled next to a seemingly dead Cye and a few tears crept down his face. He slowly stood up to face the madman who was responsible. "I will wear my armor and use it to protect and fight for good. Even if I'm destined to turn, I'll fight for good til then. My virtue is justice and I will keep that in me," he said while stretching his arms out. "I WILL NOT BECOME LIKE YOU! ARMOR OF HARDROCK TAO GI!!" he screamed loudly. 

His armor welcoming him back and helped him proceed in kicking Anubis' ass. 

:BAM: 

"AOW!" 

:SMASH: 

"IRON ROCK CRUSHAAAAHH!!!!" 

boom. yeah and so forth.   
  


"YEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!" with an incredibly girly shriek, Anubis flopped on the ground unconscious, a few broken rocks falling to the ground around him. 

An unseen face roared over the city. "Shit! You useless pieces of ***************ing *********** of a ***********, I could pull a better *************ing ****** out of my ********** ************* ************! You stupid ****!" 

The Ronin (well all who were conscious) gang looked blank. Talpa had such a potty mouth. I somewhat think he's mad.... 

Talpa conjured up one of those nifty light pillars (and he DOESNT need a pendant. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Hitomi) to suck up Anubis, when Mystery Dude appeared and made his own little light beamy thing to counteract Talpa's beamy thing, and the beamy things were like... um yeah, so anyways, the Ancient ended up with a K.O.ed redhead and Talpa ended up with a wet ass. 

The Ronin gang started up at the Ancient, still looking blank. 

The Ancient looked back at them. 

Still looking blank. 

Still looking back. 

Amariie cracked an eye open to find her face smushed against a dark blue breastplate. 

Still looking blank. 

She coughed. 

Still looking back. 

Amariie broke his hold and stood up, giving a curious look to the petrified forms around her. 

Still looking blank. 

"Ok cut the crap." 

Kento shook his head and looked up, "Hey Amariie, you're not dead." 

She scowled at that, "SOO SORRY to disappoint you..." 

He shrugged, "Well, I was hoping to get shotgun one of these days..." 

"HEY!" 

They burst into laughter. 

Still looking back. 

"You know you want me," Amariie tossed over her shoulder, snatching up her purse and strolling over to a still-petrified Rain, avoiding the large puddle of drool around Rain's feet. 

"Yeah, want you DEAD!" 

Ignoring him, she followed Rain's gaze to a silent, still figure holding a sexy evil dude in his arms. She waved a hand in front of her eyes frantically, to no avail. As a last resort, Amariie gave Rain's ass a sharp pinch, snapping the silver-haired girl out of her little fantasy world. 

"You bitch-face! I was .... erm, having the nicest, CHASTE, NOT-IN-THE-LEAST-BIT-SEXUAL daydream about a certain miscellaneous guy who shall remain unnamed and WHO IS NOT unconscious at the moment in front of me an a provocative position... which I also DIDN'T notice," Rain firmed declared, just to straighten up the situation. Amariie made a mental note to lock away the grapes and whipped cream, and that leather whip she kept in her purse for security purposes. 

"Uh huh..." 

The Ancient decided to move his ass, hoping down like 3-million feet to the street, and still managing to keep his eyes hidden in shadow under that crazy hat. "Shall we go to a place more... private?" he hinted, considering that Talpa had a great view of their current position. 

"YE-AH!" Rain burst out, to be stared at strangely by the rest. "Oh... I thought you meant just me and Anubis... heh whoops *sweatdrop*" 

Nobody chose to respond to that, instead turning to follow the monk to the city park 


	15. Chapter Fourteen

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey, Amariie here. A little warning for you: if you are one of those people opposed to gooshy romantic fics, stop now. Just kidding, but seriously, we do have a sap moment contained herein. Oh, and for disclaimer purposes, even though we never bothered to do this before, we don't own ANYTHING... well, almost anything... like Ronald McDonald, Monty Python, Baywatch, etc etc you get the freakin point.hr   
  


bChapter fourteenbr 

NEVER get onto a plane unless you know EXACTLY where you are going/bp   
  


The Ancient, who was silent the entire time, gently laid the sleeping warlord onto the soft grass. Ryo stared not-quite-friendly at Anubis, wondering why the hell the Ancient hadn't just dumped his cargo back in some ditch. Sage set a barely awake Cye next to a tree and joined Ryo's side, thinking the same but knowing there had to be a damn good reason behind all this. Kento, who was more...well Kento-ish, had his staff ready to kick the questionable warlord back to the Netherworld. br 

Rowen stood in the back of the group with Amariie, his left arm around her waist as a precaution since her tango with Anubis (hehe...precaution my ass..). br 

The Ancient stood over Anubis for a second, then proceeded to walk straight to Rain. She took a step back, not sure why he had pointed her out. br 

Stopping a foot or so away from her, he smiled. "I believe that is mine," he said softly as he pointed towards the staff Rain still had in her hands.br 

Blushing, she handed it to him. "Oh um..here ya go..heh."br 

He gazed at Rain and Amariie for a few moments. "I am very sorry that you two got involved in this war. Yet without you, the Ronin Warriors would still be lost. For that, I thank you."br 

Amariie grinned widely. "Well of course," she said while flipping her hair over her shoulder. "By the way, do you have a name? I feel weird calling you 'The Ancient' all the time. You don't look too old."br 

The Ancient nodded and gave her a smirk. "Call me Bob."br 

Rowen would have burst out laughing if it wasn't for the fact that it may piss off...Bob...br 

The Ancient turned back towards Anubis, stopping to confront the lads. "You all have done very well in exploring your armors. I commend you."br 

Kento gave a goofy grin to Ryo, who smiled back. "But wait. What about...him?" Kento asked, giving Anubis a hard point. br 

"It would have been foolish of me to simply give Talpa back Anubis' armor. Why not have another of ours on our side?" When Bob got a few confused looks, he continued on. "His armor is the same as yours. All nine armors were created from the same source."br 

Sage's jaw promptly dropped and Ryo burst out, "What?!! Like HELL!!"br 

The Ancient stared at the sleeping Anubis. "It is true whether you believe it or not. Now I ask you to leave Anubis and I alone for a while. I must speak with him and make him see the light."br 

Kento was about to argue, but Ryo clamped his hand over chubby's mouth and dragged him into the wooded area. The others obediently followed, yet Rain stayed behind, hiding in a nearby bush. br 

The Ancient raised his staff and muttered under his breath a few ancient phrases. Within moments, it burst into light, making Rain cover her eyes. When she opened them, she saw a black/red mist seeping out of Anubis' body and levitate above him. She tried not to make any noise as the Ancient's words got louder and the light shone brighter. Then a spot of light, brighter than ever, pulled itself away from the top of the staff and floated to the middle of the mist. There was a soundless explosion and the dark mist was gone, banished into the void forever. When the light finally died down, Anubis stirred.br 

Rain's wide eyes were locked on the warlord as he slowly raised himself to his knees, obviously not knowing where the hell he was. br 

His mouth opened to demand what was going on, but his mind remembered the torture he underwent for Talpa and how an evil spirit possessed him. Suddenly feeling disgusted at himself for allowing hundreds of years of manipulation and deceit, he looked to the Ancient for answers. br 

The Ancient gazed at him sympathetically. "Anubis...why do you let Talpa use you?"br 

Getting the slight feeling that it was alright to trust this man, he replied, "Talpa is my master."br 

"You are loyal, Anubis, yet you do have the right to choose what master you serve."br 

Anubis then flipped out. "What the FRICK?! The contract never said ANYTHING about that!" :grabs Talpa's contract out of thin air and flips through it: "See! It says nothing!"br 

The Ancient then took the 15-inch book and flipped to page 6,325. "You always read the fine print before you sign."br 

Anubis took the book and read quickly:i Any warlords, bodiless minions, Netherworld spirits, or any servant of master Talpa are not necessarily bound to their master forever, but it is highly recommended. Yet under the Amendment 12, page 14, paragraph 398, section 2.4, sentence 7, it is stated that any warlord, bodiless minion, Netherworld spirit, or any servant of master Talpa has the right to choose their own master, yet in cases where a warlord, bodiless minion, Netherworld spirit, or any servant of master Talpa had refused to work for the great and mighty Talpa, there was a high percentage that have died due to an accident in the bathroom concerning a hair dryer and a case of Skintimate Pear Passion shaving gel./ibr 

After carrot-top had read the paragraph, the Ancient then smacked his staff, making it glow a faint blue color, and said, "Oh yeah, you have a virtue, too."br 

Stunned by the sudden light, Anubis got up and walked in a general direction, looking for something to lean against. His hand found a bridge rail. Opening his eyes wearily, he saw his reflection in a small pond. On his forehead glowed the kanji "Chu" (translation: loyalty...duh...). Taken back by this new epiphany, he turned to the old (?) man.br 

"What do I do?"br 

The Ancient grinned, walked to Anubis' side, placed his hand on the warlord's shoulder, and said, "That is for you to decide. This is your path, make it a journey." He then raised his head in the direction of Rain's hiding place and gave a quick smile, then turned around to walk to where the Ronins were. "See ya."p 

Ryo and Rowen stood up simultaneously when they heard the sound of footsteps approaching. Once they saw the staff and the ridiculously large hat, they offered the Ancient a seat by a small fire they made.br 

Amariie looked around. "Where's Rain? I thought she was with you, Ancie-"br 

"Bob," he insisted.br 

"Er..Bob."br 

The Ancient smiled and said calmly, "She is with Anubis."br 

Amariie laughed loudly. "Woohoo! Go Rainey!"br 

Ryo leaned towards the Ancient and said lowly, "Do you think it's safe?"br 

The Ancient paused for a moment and replied, "I think it's just what Anubis needs."p   
  


Rain, still hidden behind a thick bush, watched Anubis lean over the side of the bridge, gazing into his reflection. He was confused...no make that freaking lost. How could he have spent his entire life with Talpa, the one who tortured him endlessly and gave him nothing in return except a few lousy paychecks. Even when he asked for a raise after 500 years in service, all he was given was a burnt backside and a Tootsie roll. Maybe he was blinded for all those years and now he was actually seeing the light. Perhaps-br 

His thoughts stopped and he spun to the left, hearing someone in the woods. "Come out! I know you're there!" he called out, not wanting to be spied on at the moment. br 

Rain gulped hard. Her damn foot had caught on a small twig, causing it to snap quite loudly. Slowly, she stood up, revealing herself to him. Yet the reaction she saw wasn't the reaction she thought she'd see. His eyes widened but he quickly turned his face to normal. 

"What are you doing here?" he asked quickly. br 

Rain stepped out of the brush. "Um...looking for wood," she lied badly.br 

Anubis snorted. "Yea. Sure. So you heard all?"br 

"Yes."br 

"And?"br 

Rain hesitated. "And I'm sorry," she said while walking up to him, no longer afraid of his presence.br 

"What?" he questioned while staring into her jade-silver eyes.br 

She turned to look into the water at their two reflections. She could see him still staring at her and she blushed. "I don't know what you're feeling right now, but I'm sure you can move on away from Talpa and the other warlords. You could stay here with us."br 

Anubis blinked at her, wondering why she was telling him this. Then he realized that she cared about him. How could this girl care for a warlord who's tried to kill her and her friends quite a few times. Then he conscious poked him. He hadn't ever tried to kill her. He threw her into the volcano, knowing Wildfire would rescue her. Every time he had confronted her, he'd subconsciously make sure she'd get away. He didn't realize he was still staring at her until he found himself looking into her eyes. Everything in his mind suddenly vanished. He didn't care about Talpa, Dais, Sekhmet, or Cale anymore. Hell, he didn't care that they'd probably kill him in his sleep tonight. All he cared about were the two greenish silver orbs looking into his soul. (GOD THAT IS SO SAPPY) br 

"I'm lost right now," he said softly to her. br 

Rain blushed brightly and said, "Then find your way back."br 

Not completely realizing what he was doing, he raised his armored hand and cupped her jaw, letting her dark silver hair become entwined in his fingers. Not completely realizing what she was doing, she wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling safe for the first time in a very long time. Perfectly in sync, they wrapped themselves around another and kissed for the first time. p 

hr 

***Please allow a few moments for authors to finish gaging from excess sappiness*** 

... 

... 

***thank you***hrp   
  


~Meanwhile~ 

p 

Talpa giggled girlishly while balancing a bowl of popcorn on his knee. "Hehe!!! That is so SWEET!"br 

Dais was looking around the room, not really caring about watching the love fest before him. Sekhmet had already excused him to go throw up while Cale was grinning lecherously at the wide screen as if it was a porno. br 

Daisy-man sighed loudly, obviously bored. "Er..Master Talpa? Shouldn't we go retrieve him? He would be helpful for us."br 

Talpa unglued his eyes from his precious 'Rain and Anubis Soap Opera' to kill Dais for interrupting. But then he thought Dais was probably right, as usual, the girly twit. "Hmph. Fine, fine, go get him. He's the best foot masseuse I've ever had."p   
  


Just before the two love-birds deepened the kiss, Anubis pulled away. He stared deep into her eyes, thinking how this would end up and if Rain would survive the war. Not wanting to let anything break the moment, he became content resting his head on her shoulder. As Rain was stroking his nifty hair, three dark presences became known. br 

Anubis straightened himself and looked around frantically. "No, not them."br 

He shoved Rain behind him and tried to find out where his former comrades were.br 

Rain yelled as she felt a large arm grab her and she was slammed up against a breastplate. Anubis whipped around to see a grinning Cale holding a struggling Rain. "Let her GO!" he screamed, but was cut off as Dais punched him in the gut. He fell to the ground and Rain yelled a few choice words at his attacker. Anubis looked up to see a pissed off Dais and Sekhmet leering above him.br 

"I won't serve Talpa anymore!" Anubis snarled at his three former comrades. He found his path, and Talpa wasn't gonna screw him into massaging his smelly feet any longer.br 

Sekhmet returned his hefty glare. "Hey, if we don't get any action, then either do you."br 

Anubis' face went as red as his hair. Dais grabbed a handfull of silky crimson strands and began to drag him to his feet, only to let him fall back down again. Spinning his head around, he saw why. A golden arrow struck the spider-dude in the shoulder, causing Dais to lose his hold on him.br 

"Sorry guys, he crashing at our place tonight," Rowen smirked, standing a good 10 feet above their heads, perched nicely on a tree branch.br 

::THWACK::br 

Kento's staff swiped Sekhmet clean off his feet and relocated him into the water, face down of course. Dais' jock strap was once again put to the test, compliments of a pissed red-head's elbow. It failed. Oh dear God did it fail.br 

Cye jabbed his trident at Cale's kneecap, avoiding the squirming Rain he was currently attached to. Cale relinquished his hold and drew his sword. Unfortunetly for him, before he could duel and redeam his long-long macho pride, Talpa sent forth one of his light beams, sucking up a fiesty red-head, a wet freak-show, a whiny-voiced scarred man and an anguished cyclops. 

p 

~BACK AT TALPA'S CASTLE~ 

p 

Royally pissed at his latest loss, Talpa snarled at the three armoured men in front of him. "This freaking sucks. ARGH!"br 

Cale chewed his lip nervously before meekly inquiring, "Can I have his room then?"br 

"NO! And I'm not done bitching, so stand there and look like you're interested!"br 

"..."br 

"Anyways, my new perm TOTALLY did not turn out the way I wanted it to! That stupid woman PROMISED I'd look like Sarah Jessica Parker, but I look like Ronald McDonald with heroine withdrawn symptoms!" Talpa wailed, stomping his armoured foot in a temper tantrum.br 

Dais, almost recovered from the definitte loss of ability to produce children, let his jaw drop to the floor. "*big sweatdrop* Master Talpa.... I thought you were angry with Anubis' betrayal?"br 

Talpa continued to whine. "Who can think of trivial stuff like that when my hair is a disaster! MOMMMMIIIEEEEE!!!!!'p   
  


~...AHEM, YES ANYWAYS~ 

p 

The Ronins were seated around the long-dead fire, all listening intently to the Ancient's explanation of the nine armours. All except Rain. Her mind was still clinging to a moment. A moment in which she wasn't sure would ever happen again. A soft, sweet kiss, held with such a pure and innocent love. A moment that she'd...br 

::SMACK::br 

Rain turned a surly face to the equally surly female beside her. If she wasn't feeling such a high from the kiss right now, Amariie would be SOOOOO fucking dead in a gutter. Covered in rats, ... and stale chewing gum, ... and cigarette butts.br 

"You're not even listening to what Bob has to say! I mean, I know its boring as hell, but if I gotta put up with it, so can you," she hissed defiantly, not wanting to get another scolding glare from Bob Almighty for making her impatience clear to all. It wasn't fair that Rain got some up-close-and-personal time with cover boy of Warlord's Exposed, and she was stuck staring at embers for Christ's sake.br 

Early in the morning, all were asleep except one. Rain couldn't go to sleep at all, so she found herself content to stargazing while sitting on the small pond bridge. As dawn appeared and faded, she still sat there, thinking of Anubis. Feeling a presence behind her, she turned her head to see the Ancient standing on the bank behind her. She smiled slightly and looked back at tiny fish swimming in the pond. She felt footsteps on the bridge and didn't need to look up to see "Bob" standing silently besides her. A minute or so passed before either exchanged words.br 

"Will I ever see him again?" she asked hesitantly. br 

The Ancient looked down at her and replied, "You will see."br 

Rain looked up and he smiled at her comfortingly. Returning it, she stood up next to him. "I guess mopping around won't do much. Are we leaving now?" br 

Bob nodded and sighed. "You and the others will enter Talpa's castle today. I pray you and Amariie to be watchful." Knowing what she'd ask next, he continued. "I will be the bridge for you to pass upon."br 

Receiving a confused look from Rain, he remained quiet. br 

"Shall we go back now?" br 

Rain muttered a 'yes' and followed him back to the campsite. The others were still somewhat asleep, so she sat on a log nearby and patiently waited for them to get up. br 

i~Five minutes later...~/ibr 

"GET UP NOW!" :WHACK: "GET YOUR LAZY ASSES UP!"br 

Ryo sat up, obviously angered slightly. "LIKE HELL I AM! GO TO SLEEP!"br 

The Ancient almost laughed at the warriors before him. Kento was snoring loudly and drooling while Sage was kicking him in the gut. Rowen was cuddled next to an unconscious Amariie and White Blaze was nearly suffocating Cye.br 

Cye opened his eyes to see white fur. "ARGH! White Blaze! Go take a bath!" he yelled as he shoved the large furball off of him. br 

Ryo looked up at the Ancient laughing but then realized the Ancient was...well gone. He forced his lazy butt to get up and walked a little ways into the park clearing, knowing the others wouldn't miss him one bit. Coming into the pond area, he saw the Ancient standing in the middle of a grassy knoll. When he was about to say something, an enormous gust of wind came spiraling through the area. The Ancient held his staff up high and screamed out an incantation. Within seconds, a blue light crept from his body, swirling around him and growing larger. Ryo tried to call out but his voice was drowned in the loud winds. br 

Suddenly, a large, bright blue column of light exploded from the Ancient and the small figure in the middle was gone. Several footsteps behind him let him know the others also saw/heard what was going on. br 

Rain ran to the head and cried out, "No!"br 

Kento scratched his head, not knowing what to think, as usual. "Um...what's that?"br 

"It's a bridge," Rain said, suddenly remembering the Ancient's words.br 

Amariie cocked her head. "Huh?"br 

Rain glanced at her then back at the large blue pillar. "He said he'd become the bridge into Talpa's castle."br 

"The energy to create that must have been everything he had," Sage said solemnly. br 

It became silent for a few moments, then Ryo spoke up. "Well, we can't let his sacrifice be wasted. Let's go!" 


	16. Chapter Fifteen

*Disclaimer: Neither lagomorph or Neo own Ronin Warriors, Yoroiden Samurai Troopers, Bob Barker, lingerie stores, Finding Nemo, or pretty much anything we mention. So pssh.*  
  
NEVER get onto a plane unless you know EXACTLY where you are going  
  
Chapter 15  
  
Amariie slowly walked towards the large blue tunnel, which reminded her of a raspberry slushie. Yummmm...Ahem... As soon as she was within five feet of the tunnel, it began to lift her from the solid ground, gently bringing her towards the center of the vortex...slushie...thingamahoot. She shrieked a bit and gave some sort of "do something you goofball" look to Rowen. He simply shrugged. Kento cracked a grin and followed the blonde's lead. The others jumped in as well, unsure of what they were to see ahead but trying not to think of it. Rain dodged a flying WhiteBlaze and looked upwards. Within moments, she began laughing hysterically. Ryo, floating next to her, gave her a sideways glance. "What's so funny?"  
  
Rain merely pointed upwards and tried to steady her laughter, it was throwing off her Peter Pan flying skillz. Ol' fireball followed Rain's pointing and noticed a flash of baby blue. He controlled his giggles and stated loudly, "Hey Victoria! I think I found out your secret!"  
  
Amariie twirled around with one of those uplifting nose confused glances. "What the frick are you talking abo--" she stopped when she noticed she was still wearing a skirt... "EEEE!!! PERVS!!!!!!" she screamed while throwing down a few things of lipstick from her fuzzy purse while trying to hold together her short skirt.  
  
Being the perv that he is, Kento's smile widened. "I don't think I've ever seen undies with flowers on them." :THWACK: Ouch. Those compact mirrors can hurt...  
  
Without much more maiming, the troup landed daintily on the hard...metalish...floating castle ground...stuff..yeah. And of course, they were insta-assaulted by hordes of brainless dynasty armors (bad guys have impeccable timing, no?). WB leaped into action, clearly knocking 4 consecutive soldiers on their behinds with a few well-placed pounces. Sage and Rowen delt out an extra helping of kick-ass while Ryo stuck behind protect the girls...er..girl. Rain was doing some serious damage with some nifty jeet-kun-do moves, compliments of watching Cowboy Bebop when she should having been studying for chemistry, while Amariie... well Amariie can't fight so she just kinda put on the evasion+purse smack manuver. Cye and Kento took to the front boldly, trying to make a clearer path towards the looming gray wall ahead.  
  
Kento ploughed his fist through a soldier and looked over at Cye, "Hey man, do these things ever end?"  
  
Giving a contemplating glance, briefly interrupted by a well-needed kick to an incoming tin can, he gave his calculated answer, "Nope."  
  
"Bring them on then!," rockie shouted, hoping over a steel corpse towards his next target. He seemed to be the only one enjoying this.  
  
"KIIYAA BITCH SLAP TO YA!" Ok, make that two. Rain jumped on top of a fallen soldier, smashing his armor in with each jump. She turned to see White Blaze holding a soldier's scythe in his mouth, whipping his head around. Rain cracked a grin. "Dude! That is too cool! Good kittie!"  
  
In the midst of the boys fighting, Rain DBZing, and Amariie slapping soldiers with her Purse of Death, Rowen yelled out to a non-visible Sage. "Yo! Sage! Where do you think the three stooges are?"  
  
Sage kept his eyes on his opponent. "Don't know, don't care at the moment," he said quickly while dodging a long staff.  
  
Rowen frowned at his friend's unenthusiasm...well like they need any here... "Well I do..." he trailed on. Rapidly he ducked an onslaught of a beer can wannabe, but as he glanced to his left side, he noticed an eyesore. A motionless and silent fiery red gate stood in the near distance, beckoning them to come. It seemed the only entrance from their point of view and also the best way to get in, given that it was flanked by a very high, very thick wall. Rowen was shaken out of his observance by an annoyingly high-pitched pig squeal. He turned to find Amariie having one hell of a tug-of-war with a can over her purse.  
  
"YOU'RE GONNA RIP IT!!!!" she shrieked at its faceless mask.  
  
Suddenly the soldier collapsed into a pile of... well collapsed soldier topped with sprawled Amariie and slightly stretched purse. Thanks to Kento. "Bassstard!" she hissed as she walked hastily towards him. She promptly grabbed a handful of dull brown hair and gave a vicious tug.  
  
"Gwa! What the hell, you psycho brat! I SAVED YOU!" he screeched at her.  
  
"Me?! Look at my purse! Me, the poor little damsel in distress, and you take your sweet-ass time to rescue me, and LOOK AT MY PURSE! My mom's gonna haventa pay a fortune to repair it!" she glowered back, red in the face and stomping her foot like a .. psycho brat.  
  
No even bothering to dignify that with a response, he yanked her arm to a sideline to keep her wussy ass safe. Once there, he grabbed a nearby White Blaze in mid-action by the scruff of his neck and shoved him towards Amariie. Frankly, WB was pissed. 'Damn it,' White Blaze thought darkly, 'first Kento eats the leftover Micky D's burger that Ryo bought for MY dinner, then the Ancient, my master for like 1000 years goes poof, and NOW I'm stuck babysitting this whiny bitch. Thank you Kami-sama... thanks a real fricken lot..'  
  
Moving right along... When the area was almost finally clear of generic brand soldiers, a new batch flooded in. Sage snarled and turned towards the others. "Guys, we can't waste time like this! Ryo, you Rowen and I make our way towards the gate while Kento, Rain, White Blaze, Useless and Cye will mop up these tin- heads," he commanded. (I mean, hey, he DOES have a manlier voice than Ryo...)  
  
"Roger!" With that, the three sprinted off, with the occasional plough- through-dynasty trash, towards the looming, gloomy and doomy castle up ahead.  
  
Upon reaching the ridiculously tall pair of wooden doors, the three stopped. Ro-chan scratched his head. "Um, should we knock?"  
  
Ryo used Mime. "I guess so..."  
  
Just as Ryo's metal-clad fist was about to touch the ancient wood, the doors creaked open to reveal... to reveal... too reveeeaaal.... Too Reveal! ::in Bob Barker voice:: ...blackness. What, did you honestly expect a 100 year old floating magical feudal japanese castle from the Netherrealm to have electrical lightning? C'mon, now that's just being unrealistic!  
  
Just to add to the whole ensemble, Sage decided to ask a "Anybody home?" to the unwelcoming silence, yet nearly jumped out of his sub-armour when a shrill feminine voice answered with a "Nobody's home!"  
  
"Moron! Now they know it's us!" a thick, deep voice followed after the higher one, sounding angry.  
  
::TWACK::  
  
"Ingrates! OF COURSE they know, it's Talpa's goddamn castle!" an eerie voice hissed and the other two.  
  
There was a pause and then the shrill voice broke it. "..oh yeah.. Well, come on in!"  
  
::TWACK::  
  
"Of course they're going to come in! What, did you think they'd STAND THERE all fricken overcasted day and wait for a written fricken invitation?!" the eerie voice replied once again sounding rather miffed.  
  
Some light sniffling was heard, presumably from the shrill voiced one. "Dais... you're such a big meanie!"  
  
Rowen turned his head slowly towards Sage to notice the same giant sweatdrop attached to the back to his head. 'Oh well...'  
  
Ryo raised an eyebrow at the scene before him. Before he could say anything, three shadows separated themselves from the darkness. Sage was again scared shitless by Rain who ran into him from behind. The others trotted upon the scene after finishing off the rest of the badies. She gave him an apologetic look as the three vicious warlords stepped forward dauntingly. "Dude...you guys look buff..." Amariie said while dodging a glance from Rowen.  
  
Dais, who stood in front, grinned a bit. "We've had some minor adjustments."  
  
~~~wobbly flashback mode~~~  
  
Cale had realized that putting on his Scooby Doo swimtrunks while blowing up his floaties was not an easy task. He stumbled around his room trying to find that blasted sunscreen; he burnt so easily. Without announcing his arrival, Dais burst through his door, nearly taking it off the hinges. "HURRY!!! HOT GIRLS WON'T WAIT LONG!!" he shrieked, so excited that he was out of breath.  
  
Cale finished inflating his left arm. "Talpa's such a good employer. I can't believe he ordered us twenty beach girls and a pool just cause we've been good lately. I think it's from bringing Anubis back. I wanna hang out with the girls so we can do each other's hair."  
  
Dais nodded quickly while bouncing on the balls of his feet, momentarily ignoring his comrade's gayness. He sported his new purple speedo shorts with yellow stars on them. Getting impatient he grabbed Cale by the arm and dragged him towards the place Talpa said he recently established a pool.  
  
"Gwah! I forgot my bathing cap!" he (Cale) yelped, then grabbed a large lime green beach bag. Dais proceeded to run down the hall, infused with lust and glee.  
  
Within a few moments, they arrived to a large steel door with a piece of notebook paper taped to the front reading a scribbled word "Pool." Cale refixed his hold on his heavy bag. Dais leaned over and asked what was in it. Without waiting for Cale to say, he plunged his hand inside and found a powerpuff girls beach towel, spf 45 sunscreen (plumeria scented), inflatable toys, and "Tampons?" Dais questioned. Cale simply shrugged and opened the large door, allowing the other to step through first.  
  
What met their eyes was not a truckfull of bodacious babes or a nice pool, but instead a large netherpool infested with spirits and lava. Dais was quite ready to run full speed in the other direction if a certain ass would get out of his way. He KNEW that door looked familiar... Cale scratched his head, which was hard to do due to his Finding Nemo floaties. "We must have gone in the wrong direction...but why did it say pool on the doo-"  
  
"TRAP! GO!" Dais yelled, realizing a bit earlier than Cale that Talpa had no intention of letting his lackies having a day at the pool, nor would Cale share hair secrets with Tiffany...damn...  
  
Cale turned to do as Dais ordered, but here came good ol' Sekkie came tearing through the door wearing Cale's missing flowered, full headed flowered bathing cap (oh yes, the type from the 1950's with the clip strap) also...in a leopard thong...  
  
"Where's my lovely Jennifer?? Last one in the pool is Talpa's bitch!" he yelled joyfully, ignoring Cale and Dais's pleas to stop. :SMACK: Sekhmet ran right into the other two, shoving them into the lava. Only half a second later did Sekkie realize he was falling into some orange goop. Cale grabbed ahold of Dais and tried to use him as a life saver. Dais' arms were flailing around trying to get his head to stay above the surface.  
  
"Cale! GET :gurgle: OFF :bubble: MEEEE :choke:"  
  
Cale became a little more still, enough to let Dais breathe. Cyclops was spitting out some goop as he felt a warmth creeping along his side. Looking down he noticed that the goop was turning strangely yellow and Cale was in the right position for him to have....  
  
"CALE!!! YOU SICK BASTARD! STOP PEEING ON ME!!!" Dais shrieked, trying to swim away from Cale, but in vain due to the fact that Cale had strapped his arms around him, his Nemo floating smushing into Dais' face.  
  
Sekkie merely floated on the surface. "Hey! This is kinda fun! Weee!" he began swimming around. Suddenly, giant bolts of electricity erupted around them, shocking all of them.  
  
It was then that they noticed Talpa sitting mere yards away on a lawn chair. He was wearing sunglasses, a straw hat, sandals, and a Hawaiian t- shirt. In his hand was a coconut filled with, undoubtedly a pina colada. Smiling he took a sip and said "Come on, boys. You're alright. Just a few more hours of this and you'll be feeling goooooood. :nods:" The warlords were fighting for their life to get out of the pool, but being held down by the lava's long tendrils, arising from the bottom. "Kick those legs, Dais," Talpa called over before using his super telekinetic powers to swipe Cale's sunscreen floating in the goop and putting a nice glob on his nose. He set down his coconut carefully and placed over his chest a sun reflector to work on that ghastly skin of his.  
  
~~wobbly flashforward mode~~  
  
"..right"  
  
The skittle squad quickly transformed into their respective armours (wasting a hella lot of toilet paper and sakura blossoms which could've been added in a Hotohori-sama picture) ready to kick some warlord-booty. At once, in that neat lil chevron formation the five charged forward, only to have a gaping hole appear underneath them, and fall. Very far. On their asses.  
  
Rain, Amariie, and a smart White Blaze, who wasn't eager to follow his master into a hole, just stood there looking stupid while the warlords cackled with glee. "Oh how easily the Ronins fell into our trap," Sekhmet chortled, nudging Cale with his elbow, who himself was giggling like a preteen.  
  
Rain shot them an unamused expression. "Ok, losers. You're trap happened to be a hole in the floor. That was not only cheap, but lacking taste as well. I mean, isn't this a magical castle? It is floating and all. Couldn't you have come up with some better special effects, or at least something cool like a warp portal?! Like, please guys.." she finished, arms crossed and letting out a final sigh.  
  
The three stared at her for a minute. Sekkie, surprisingly, recovered first. "Ok, time to die you uppity bitch. SNAKE FANG STRIKE!" In an instant, the doorway was lit up with flashing streams of burnt sienna, plumes of noxious fume blocking vision of the awaited deaths of those two annoying bitchy girls. "Attacking two defenseless women, Sekhmet? I believe you need a lesson in chivalry, my former comrade." A voice answered instead of the blood curdling screams they had expected. The voice sounding eerily familiar, yet having that brave, noble ring to it, which made it seem so foreign.  
  
Dais, at the forefront, stared incrediculously (that is now a real word) as the vapour cleared. "A..Anubis?!"  
  
Standing there in all his sexy masculine glory, with two surprised girls thrown over each shoulder, stood the former Oni Masho. Lowing his upper body and planting the girls down, he stepped forward to face the three minions of Talpa. Amariie, finished with staring at the rather nice bottom of the bishounen standing before them, gave a slight tug on Rain's sleeve. Rain, on the other hand, was not finished with her inspection. Careful not to step in the rather large puddle of drool on the ground, Amariie pulled Rain over to a safe distance, the latter still in that dreamy trance.  
  
Sekkie scratched his head...well helmet. "How did you escape the..um..lava goop crap?"  
  
The red head smiled a bit and turned his face towards snakie-poo. "Plot twist, my dear Watson. Plot twist."  
  
"Stop with the riddles, Anubis!" Dais bellowed. "You were securely trapped there with guards!"  
  
"Apparently not," mumbled Cale before receiving a nice sharp look from Cyclops.  
  
Dais wrapped his fingers around a handy nunchuku secretly. "I'll make sure you'll never see sunlight again!" he shot, lunging at the smiling ex- warlord.  
  
Yet before he could attack, Sekhmet had grabbed ahold of Dais's shoulder, surprisingly strong. "Talpa told us to stick to the plan!"  
  
Cale nodded, although he'd enjoy ripping Anubis apart himself. "He's right, Dais. We can deal with the traitor later, after we take care of the others.  
  
With that, they vanished and the ridiculously large red wooden doors slammed shut.  
  
Anubis turned towards the two girls and began walking towards them. "Well that was rude."  
  
Amariie skipped towards him as Rain couldn't help but grin so widely it looked like it'd rip her face in half.  
  
"Yeah, you sure kicked their asses!" Amariie said to him sarcastically, raising a fist in the air.  
  
Anubis merely smirked and placed his eyes on Rain, now standing a few feet in front of him. Blondie looked from one to the other and mentioned something about re-doing her makeup, then strolled away. In one fluid motion, Rain flung herself at Anubis and hugged his chest tightly. "I thought you were gone," she whispered. He was a bit surprised, but welcomed the action. "I'm back," he replied, then played with her silver hair a bit, then kissed the top of her head. ((Author's note: Yes, that part made me gag too. I apologize))  
  
Ryo stumbled in the darkness, trying to find a wall or object somewhere to comfort himself. He had fallen in the darkened chamber when the hole opened beneath them. Stupid cheesy warlord trick. The other four had disappeared, probably in the same predicament as he. When he felt he was going to be lost forever, he began to hear hurried footsteps. He stood as still as he could, listening to the rapid beats. Without warning whatsoever, the running footsteps became loud, followed by a hard shove to Ryo's chest. He opened his eyes, like that did any good, and tried to see through the darkness as he laid on the stone ground.  
  
"Bloody hell that hurt!" the voice above him said painfully.  
  
Ryo gave a short laugh. "Cye?"  
  
The body above him went still then said "Ryo! It's about time I ran into you!" He chucked a bit, then got up, helping Ryo onto his feet as well.  
  
Ryo nodded in thanks, like that would help as well. "Where are we?"  
  
Cye turned around, searching for light. "Don't know. I wish there was some bloody-"  
  
Before he could finish, the countless torches that attached to the walls suddenly ignited, sending a bright glow throughout the entire chamber. "light," the Brit finished.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********** Author's note: lagomorph/Amariie here. The "Jennifer" part told by the Sekh-ster is dedicated to our dearest FluffyPollo *insert evil laugh here* 


	17. Sucks to be lost

Never Get On A Plane Unless You Know EXACTLY Where You're Going  
  
DISCLAIMER: Neo's doing this disclaimer! Oh boy, this is gonna be long...We, I repeat, Lagomorph and myself, Neo, do NOT own: Veggie Tales (Thank the great gods above for that one), Blackadder, Pina Coladas with lil cherries and paper umbrellas, Heavy Arms or anything else from Gundam, pot (well we do we just won't tell you), the Escaflowne cast (although I'm getting Van for Laggy for her 21st bday), $9.99 bar stools, kilts, the Ottawa Senator's dressing room, Moses, the 90s dating game starring Vanilla Ice, Lollipop Undies, Diablo, Lord of the Rings, Sigmund Freud, $15.56 per pound Hickory Smoked with a touch of Brown Sugar Salami made from Happy Cows in Pisa, Italy from Super-Walmart, Zesty Mustard, Multi-Bot from She-Ra, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch Boom Box, Sleepover Skipper, Hollywood Hair Barbie, Mario, Pink Britney Spears printed bed sheets, Mary-Kate and Ashley posters, New Kids On The Block Dolls, aaaaand the end song from Rurouni Kenshin. Oh and don't sue us cause we bite and there's a good chance one or both of us has rabies.  
  
Chapter 16  
  
'Well this certainly does suck', Sage thought darkly as he scanned his surroundings. Typical dungeon. The crumbly stonewalls, slimy moss adorning the floors and the occasional spider web just to add to the ambiance - real peachy setting for the Warrior of Light. After grumbling some more and pulling his sore carcass to his feet, he slowly started to explore. After a while he noticed that at the far end of the chamber there was a rusty iron door. Grasping the fleeting moment of hope before it reared it's legged and kicked him in the face, Sage charged to the door and heaved on it with the entirety of his body weight. Errp, no good. The thing wouldn't budge. He tried a few more times, but still to no avail. He tried to melt the door with some 'choice words' he recently learned from Kento's 'extensive vocabulary', but that didn't work either. Backing off a bit, Sage thought of a plan. Oh yes, it was good. A plan so utterly cunning you could brush your teeth with it.  
  
Stepping forward he reached out and turned the handle, then proceeded down the now-accessible corridor.  
  
~~~ Rowen had been walking for a while now. He had arrived in a small room with a narrow door nearly twenty minutes ago. Well it could have been hours ago and he wouldn't have known it due to...well...lack of a watch. All he cared about was getting out and finding Amariie. Was he really caring that much about her? His heart beat a bit faster when he thought of her (yaddah yaddah yaddah). Anyways, back to him being alone in a dungeon with his very life in jeopardy like a snail about to be pounced upon by a playful kitten...hmm bad analogy. His feet were beginning to turn sore when he saw a shadow moving around ahead of him. If only there was a bit more light, he'd be a bit more comforted. The shadow moved towards him and stopped its movement about ten feet away.  
  
Rowen was ready for the worst when the shadow said quite loudly, "Come on, Dynasty trash! Gimme what you got!"  
  
Blue boy sighed. "Good to see you too, Kento."  
  
Kento came closer and saw it was Ro-chan. "Ro! How's it going? I've been walking around here forEVER now and I'm hung-"  
  
Rowen saw movement to his left and quickly turned to find a door with a single flickering candle above it. Did he see a door before?  
  
He followed Rowen's gaze. "Alright, a way out! Come on!" Kento urged as he started walking towards it.  
  
Rowen grabbed his elbow and pulled him back, which was difficult. "Wait. That door wasn't there before. Something's wrong."  
  
For a moment Kento looked serious, but then he grinned widely. "Come on, Rowen, don't be a pussy. It's the only way out of this hellhole. Do you wanna walk around here for the rest of your life or not?"  
  
Rowen glanced back at the door and sighed. "I suppose we can try it. But don't say I didn't warn you," he said to Kento, letting go of his grip on him.  
  
Kento smiled a bit and walked to the door. He laid his armored hand on the handle as Rowen came to his left side. Giving one final glance to his buddy and a decreasingly confident grin, Kento opened the door to see only black.  
  
~~~ After the suspiciously sudden appearance of light, Ryo and Cye cautiously strolled down the passage. Soon after, they came across a large chamber, and inside it there seemed to be a big armour...thing. Curiosity getting the best of them, the duo crept forwards to inspect this armour, and to their surprise, it seemed to be large. Very large, in-fact, and strange looking. It was red and orange, with green eyes slits in the helmet and a large, VERY large...gatlin?!  
  
Ryo's head snapped to Cye's direction, eyes shining with sudden recognition and the happiness of a school boy catching a glimpse down his school teacher's blouse. "Dude! It's a gundam!"  
  
Cye shrieked with glee as he climbed the monstrosity. Typing a complex code that he would have no idea of knowing into the small concealed panel he would have no chance of finding, the cockpit slowly opened and Cye hopped in. "Thank you Trowa!" he giggled, smiling as the cockpit lit up and main screen started to initiate battle sequences.  
  
This was too cool.  
  
"I see we have found Heavy Arms, Ronins," the raspy and ridiculously...large Demon Overlord mused, standing tall in the large opening of the secret hanger they appeared to be in. Yes, and may be emphasize that this opening was LARGE. Talpa was LARGE. See what drinking milk does to ya kids?  
  
Mega-Talpa stepped forward, his giant metal foot crushing the floor beneath it and sending up a pleasantly destructive-looking dust cloud as well. Cye, giddy to rev this puppy up, whipped the gatlin gun around and opened fire. Ryo, not wanting his tiny ass to become powered pancake mix, wisely backed off to the side to watch the duel beside a sulking Van-sama, evidently miffed that he was stuck with a mecha that sucked his blood instead of a gatlin gun. "Hmph, I could've kicked Allen's ass if I had a beam gatlin. I AM king after all..."  
  
Talpa used one of the numerous swords of his back to block Trowa-err Cye's shots (yes, Talpa has his body. Don't ask.) and charged the festive-looking mecha in-order to prohibit Cye from using the gun. Talpa swung hard, yet released the gatlin and flipped up the military knife to block it, using the head vulcans to knock the Dynasty ruler back. With a swift elbow to the presumed ribs and bringing the military knife down with vehemence, Cye sliced Talpa's metal body in two, blue gas seeping out of it like no tomorrow. Cye stepped back to admire the carnage, raising two armoured fingers in a victory pose before pulling himself out of the cockpit and using the tethered cord to descend gracefully to the ground.  
  
No, actually none of that really happened. Don't smoke pot kids...  
  
~~~ With the sudden appearance of light, the red and sky blue Ronins readied for battle, hell-bent on not falling (literally) to unawares again.  
  
"Ryo, which way?" Cye queried, suspiciously eyeing both directions of the now alit corridor. They were totally lost, and those yellow-bellied bastards probably had some other trap up their sleeves... which was not good.  
  
Ryo heaved a sigh and brushed a hand over the freckles he didn't have. "I think we should go right. I mean, right is always right! ha..."  
  
"Not cool, man..."  
  
~~~ Kento cautiously stepped forward into the darkness with Rowen uncomfortably close behind. "Yo, back the hell off. I can smell your breath and you need a damn tic ta—WHOA!" Kento yelled as he tripped over a foreign arm grabbing at his leg. "GET IT OFF MEEEEE!!!!"  
  
Rowen furiously tried to find some aid for his comrade by flailing his arms around for some stability since Kento was snatching annoyingly at his ankles. His finger felt an odd shaped snag on the wall. He poked it and the room filled with light. After dragging his eyes away from the light switch on the plastered egg-colored wall, yes even with the ugly textured bumps with painted on flowers, plants, and the occasional blue jay, he saw Kento on the ground struggling with a fallen mop still half-way in a bucket. "And you call me a pussy, pussy," he remarked smiling.  
  
"Fuck you."  
  
Kento pushed his big ass up to find himself in...a kitchen.  
  
"SCORE!"  
  
Rowen half-ass tried to stop Kento from running off, but it was all too in vain. He was too amazed to sigh. How the hell did they just happen to find a kitchen. "This is way to off. What if we were in some sort of illusion the entire time? And we found a loophole?" he softly said to himself, already knowing Kento didn't give a crap.  
  
The kitchen was adorned in a sort of college dorm meets Neo's kitchen sort of way. Crummy dishes stacked high in the small sink, stains were all over the counter, a slight smell of burnt macaroni floated in the air, and in the middle of it all was a beautiful four layered quadruple chocolate cake with fudge icing, a cherry, and rainbow sprinkles sitting on a paper plate. Rowen saw Kento had passed it with no thought and was currently raiding the fridge. His stomach growled angrily. None of them had had a decent meal since this whole fiasco began. Not caring about proper manners or utensils, Rowen grabbed the slice with his armored hand and ate it as fast as he could.  
  
"So do ya think we're in Talpa's castle or something? Oooh! Salami! I'm making me a sandwich. I think this cheese is okay. It's got some moldy spots but hey, cheese is mold, right?" Kento babbled with his head in the fridge as Rowen licked a sticky finger.  
  
"Maybe Dais was doing his illusions and got sidetracked or something, causing this :chew: part of the illusion to :swallow: fade," he offered logically while Kento balanced a large sandwich in his hand.  
  
Quick and loud footsteps sharply appeared. Rowen gulped the last of the cake and Kento squeezed his sandwich close to his chest. Muffled voices soon followed and Fatty looked at Rowen for orders.  
  
"Hide!" Rowen harshly whispered and they both led to the only door available, hoping it would lead somewhere useful.  
  
"Dude, we're in a pantry..."  
  
"Shut up!" A swinging door creaked open swiftly, allowing three entities to enter the kitchen. One plopped on an unstable $9.99 barstool while the other two leaned against the filthy counter.  
  
"If Talpa calls us down again just so he can tell that joke again, I'm going to kill him," the first voice grumbled.  
  
"I thought the punchline was rather clever..."  
  
"Shut up Cale. 'Why don't aliens eat clowns? Cause they taste funny' is NOT clever."  
  
"HEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHHEHE" happily squealed a deranged Sekhmet.  
  
Dais sighed and opened the fridge. Then closed it. Then opened it again. "Where is my salami?"  
  
Inside the dark pantry, only dots of light through the wicker were available for Kento to make sure Rowen was glaring at him. He shrugged in return.  
  
"Where is my goddamn $15.56 per pound SALAMI?!" Dais shrieked, receiving a blank stare from Sekhmet. "This was the LAST Hickory Smoked with a touch of Brown Sugar made from HAPPY COWS IN PISA, ITALY SALAMI FROM SUPER WALMART!"  
  
Cale tossed a glance over his shoulder as he walked towards the stove. "Stop your whining. I'm sure you can find your stupid salami online—OH MY GOD!!!!!!!"  
  
Sekhmet changed his blank stare to Cale, who met his gaze. "The piece of cake your mom made is gone," whimpered Cale.  
  
:blink:  
  
"IT'S GONE!!! WHERE THE FUUUUUCK DID IT GO??!?!"  
  
Kento smirked and gave Rowen a mockingly nasty look. Suddenly, his face grew cold and he carried an alarmed expression.  
  
:pfffffssssttttttbbblllgggg:  
  
Rowen showed the most fearful look.  
  
Dais was about to laugh at Cale's outcome, but heard an odd noise radiating from behind the pantry door. He leaned in closer towards the white door, hoping to hear it again.  
  
Rowen and Kento saw his shadow come across the door. Rowen took a sharp intake of breath, but regretted it quickly. He slammed his hand over his mouth and nose. Kento offered a weak smile.  
  
With his head so close to the door, Dais got hit first.  
  
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT OF A COW'S ANUS! WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!" he screamed, then gagged violently.  
  
Being the dufus he is, Sekhmet also leaned in curiously, but soon began coughing and spitting, then jogging out of the kitchen.  
  
Cale was smart enough not to go near there.  
  
"IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT! And...And MUSTARD!"  
  
Furious, Dais went to yank open the door, recoiling a few times in sheer disgust. Once his hand laid on the small wooden knob, a loud voice echoed through the P.A. system.  
  
"WARLORDS!" Talpa yelled unnecessarily. "I got the best joke to tell you! Teehehehehe! You gotta come quick! Oh hell I forgot it...No wait! I got it! Hhehehehhehehhehe :SNORT:"  
  
Dais cursed and stormed out of the stinky room, Cale followed him equally peeved.  
  
Once they were out the door, Rowen crashed through the wicker door, gasping for air. Kento exited a bit sheepishly. "Heh, you would think the armor would keep it locked inside or something...Aww man I got mustard on my armor..." Kento sadly commented, then taking a bit on his finger and licking it. "Mmm...zesty."  
  
~~~  
  
Sage had been wandering around the dismal halls of the dynasty castle for ..well he wasn't wearing his watch so he didn't know exactly HOW long, but it probably was quite a while. Lolling his head forward in sheer boredom, he gathered up his nerve and decided to open a door. He was starting to get a notion that this endless corridor was one of Dais' illusions, that and it just seemed like a damn good idea at the time.  
  
Anyways, he calmly walked over to the first door on his left and deftly reached a hand out. The slim armoured fingers wrapped carefully around the brass knob, and with deadly precision his wrist flicked to the right. Upon hearing the soft click of the lock, he pushed the door with even strength just enough so he could slip in, then proceeded to ever-so-carefully shut it with his deadly, cat-like dexterity. Feeling his hand up the inside wall, his hand came into contact with the light switch. Gathering up all his courage, despite the gnawing pit of fear growing in his stomach, he flicked the light on.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
Pain.  
  
Agony.  
  
Anguish.  
  
This was too much for the poor boy to handle. Nothing Sage had ever experienced in his entire life had prepared him for this.  
  
His eyes burned in their sockets, the searing pang painfully evident even though his eyes were now clamped shut. A large lump was in his throat, constricting the air, yet this did nothing to cease the endless shrieks of sheer horror. His fingers clawed at the floor, vainly trying to dig a hole to somewhere--anywhere but this single room. He wanted to flee, to run home to his mommy and cry, but his legs wouldn't register with his brain's pleas.  
  
~~~  
  
Cale trudged vindictively along the hallway, pissed that his cake was gone. He had a sneaking suspicion that the magical fridge fairies were doing this as comeback for forgetting to leave his nightly offering of dried prunes and sour cream. If only Master Talpa hadn't called them away for another one of his "Hey look it's Hariel's armour of Inferno" practical jokes, then maybe he could've made it up to them somehow. Feeling the side of his neck cramp up, he headed towards his bedchamber, ready for a little snooze. Dais' illusions were keeping the Ronin's occupied, and Master Talpa was probably still busy giggling to himself, so no one would notice...  
  
"YEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!"  
  
~~~  
  
"That was really fricking lame," Dais muttered to an agreeing Sehkmet as the two left Talpa's throne room.  
  
"He's been doing that 'Hey look, it's Hariel's Armour of Inferno' practical joke every month for the past 120 years. Not even my jokes are that bad..."  
  
Just then an ear-splitting scream flooded the hall, causing both Warlords to tense up and promptly dash towards the sickeningly familiar sound.  
  
Dais whipped around the final corner and stopped dead in his tracks. Sehkmet managed to come to a halt close behind him, and strained his neck to see what Dais was openly gaping at.  
  
It was Sage.  
  
Lying prone on the bed.  
  
On his stomach, in a rather vulnerable position.  
  
And there was Cale.  
  
Hovering over him.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
"OH MY GOD YOU FAG!" Dais shrieked, jumped back into a startled snake-boy.  
  
Cale went red. "It wasn't... I didn't... It is NOT what it seems!"  
  
Sehk's face was blank. "Cale, we knew you weren't into women in 'that way', but to Halo!?"  
  
Dais, head in his hands, continued to rant. "I cannot BELIEVE you would do something like that! I mean...how...why....how...ARGH!"  
  
Cale shook the unconscious figure frantically, hoping the Ronin would wake up and explain the situation. Cale had just opened the door to his room to find the body here.  
  
The granny-haired cyclops brutally shoved Cale into the wall and stormed across the room. Facing Cale, wrath visibly seeping out of his body, he stooped down. "WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE MY SILK UNDERWEAR IN YOUR ROOM?!"  
  
"Ugh.."  
  
Sage stirred, being torn out of what he thought was the afterlife to come back into his horrid surroundings. Snapping his eyes open, in was met with the same disgusting-ness on the bed as it viewed before.  
  
Pink.  
  
Pink sheets.  
  
Not only pink but... but... Britney Spears printed.  
  
Britney Spears everywhere.  
  
Mary Kate and Ashley posters.  
  
Marky Mark and the funky bunch boombox.  
  
...Sleepover Skipper!  
  
Eyes glazed over in terror, he backed away from the bed and into a dresser. "AH!" he screamed. The impact had knocked over an object into his lap. Hollywood Hair Barbie.  
  
Crawling over to Sekhmet, Sage clung to his leg, begging for him to kill him to end this torment. The entire room was pink. The floor was littered with puffy 60's style flower pillows. Dear god, there was even the entire set of New Kids On The Block dolls on a shelf. This was hell.  
  
Sehk gave him a curious look. "Well shit, I thought you would've figured that Cale is a pansy."  
  
"I AM NOT A PANSY!"  
  
"Shut up, pansy. Anyways, Talpa gave us orders to capture you so he can absorb you or something... I dunno, don't ask..."  
  
Getting all heroic again, Sage backed away.  
  
"...so if you don't come nicely, Cale'll bring out his early 90's dating board game, starring Vanilla Ice," an evil smile spread across the warlord's face, "Or if you like, you can get JTT."  
  
"NO!" Sage cried, throwing himself to the ground in a fit of tears, "NOT THAT! I'll do what you say!"  
  
They three laughed maliciously.  
  
~~~  
  
Amariie flattened down White Blaze's wiry fur a bit while her butt proceeded to grow numb from sitting on the rough ground a while. She gave Rain a glance and yawned. "Sooo what're we supposed to now?"  
  
After giving the hottie her latest blatantly obvious smile, she looked towards 'arrie. "Hell if I know. Yo 'Nubis. Explain the whole 'plot twist' thing. How'd you get free from the dungeon?"  
  
Anubis looked towards the ground for a moment before meeting her gaze. "Well..."  
  
~woobly flashba-  
  
"Whoa wait! What's with the unnecessary watery flashback mode?? It's ruining the mood! " he shot a glare to some silent being in the sky.  
  
~woobly fl-  
  
"NO! That makes me wanna throw up every time I see it," Rain moaned while holding her stomach.  
  
~woo-  
  
Amariie crossed her arms. "Why doesn't he just, like, say what happened instead of the flashback mode? We've already had, like, :counts fingers: six so far. They must cost a lot, I saw some documentary on 80's anime shows and they said that an average woobly flashback mode on a slow day is estimated at, like, $10,000 which I find HIGHLY stupid cause it could be put to important stuff like starving kids in Afri-"  
  
:Neo throws her shoe at Amariie's forehead, knocking her unconscious:  
  
~WOOBLY FUCKING FLASHBACK MODE!! DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH MY CHOICE OF FUCKING STORYTELLING METHODS???? ...k thanks.~  
  
Anubis struggled unenthusiastically against the sticky snot-like arms of the Nether lava goop stuff. He slightly bounced around, trying to rip off one slop while another pulled at his hair. He could easily sense El Roninos near Talpa's front door and about to cross the threshold. Carrot Top gave one final yank and began sinking deeper into the fluorescent pool.  
  
"Anubis..." a voice purred through his mind.  
  
The said warlord opened his eyes wearily, tired from fighting for so long.  
  
"Anuuuubisss..." it repeated, more persistent.  
  
"Mmmm?" Anubis, well, mmmed.  
  
"Annnnuuubbiiisssssss..."  
  
Trying to keep his head above the sticky liquid. "Whaa?"  
  
"Annuuubb-"  
  
"WHAT DAMMIT?!"  
  
The voice hesitated, apparently started. "Oh, sorry, couldn't hear you in the goop. This is Bob the Ancient. Yeah, well, I recently crossed to the other side and it sucks. There's no tiki bar with those really yummy pina coladas with the lil cherries and cute paper umbrellas. So I came back to rescue your sorry ass. :cracking knuckles heard: Ya might wanna get ready," the deep voice said casually.  
  
Anubis raised an eyebrow. "Ready for wh-"  
  
:WHOOSH:  
  
Without realizing it, the entire Nether pool was divided as if a powerful gust of wind had blown through even though there was no evidence of it. In the middle of the split, standing on the recently dry ground was the Ancient.  
  
"Moses ain't got nothin' on me."  
  
~Later~  
  
In a random darkened tunnel Anubis leaned over slightly, trying to keep a look out for enemies and so the nasty cobwebs wouldn't get in his hair. In front of him stood the Ancient, a bit transparent with a hint of a blue glow, but in tact anyways.  
  
"Take off your armor," he said authoritatively.  
  
Giving the all-wise, all-knowing elder a sideways glance, he forced his armor off of him and stood in the chilled air in his Joe Boxers. He almost hinted an amusing smile from the one before him.  
  
"Lollipop underwear?"  
  
Anubis half-turned away, as if that would cause him to go invisible. "Mommy gave them to me..."  
  
Bob only smiled compassionately and then held his hands out to Anubis. Not knowing what to do, Anubis thought he was asking for a hug. Then in the Ancient's arms appeared his clothes and hat. Anubis' eyes grew wide for an instant as he touched the now quite tangible clothing. He raised his eyes to Bob, now sporting an unbuttoned Hawaiian surf shirt, board shorts, and dark sunglasses.  
  
Not giving Anubis the chance to diss his fashion knowledge, he said, "You are now the new Ancient and I finally get a damn vacation."  
  
Anubis half-laughed in disbelief but took the clothes and hat. Bob lowered his arms and turned on his heel. He gave a wave over his shoulder and proceeded to walk down the tunnel as he began to dissipate. "Damned shorts are riding my ass," he muttered while picking a wedgie.  
  
Still holding the clothes in his hand, Anubis sort of blankly watched Bob's image disappear and without warning whatsoever, a large white/gold light shot forth in front of him, materializing into the Ancient's golden staff. After the light died, Anubis placed his right hand around the staff, feeling a strangely warm sensation. He then quickly dressed in the ancient attire and began jogging down the tunnel in search of the Ronins. "I wonder if I'll get hazard pay for this."  
  
~End woobly flashback mode...See? Wasn't too bad.~  
  
The wind blew a bit harder as Anubis ended his amazing escape...well rescue. White Blaze rolled over on the hard ground and wiggled a bit, trying to relieve the annoying itch in his back.  
  
After prying her eyes from Anubis, Rain leaned backwards a bit. "Lollipop boxers?"  
  
Blushing madly, Anubis adverted his gaze to Amariie, pleading for help. She only gave him an exasperated look. "Oh fer god's sake...I'm bored out of my immortal soul. Let's go save someone or something," Amariie said while lifting herself off the ground.  
  
Rain followed her lead, still giving the red-head a slight smirk. Anubis used his Ancient's staff to pull himself up and smoothed out the wrinkles in his skirt...kilt...thing...He then checked his non-existent watch and stole a glance to the sun.  
  
After receiving a few blank stares, he muttered, "It's about time to go in," and strolled quite nonchalantly towards the previously locked big red gate with Amariie, Rain, and White Blaze following in his wake.  
  
~~~  
  
Rowen and Kento had made their way through parts of the castle and had arrived in an outside area that resembled a highly unkept garden. Dying trees stretched as in agony and weeds overtook the area. A small but thick Japanese wall surrounded it with only one door. Kento began walking towards the opposite door across the garden but suddenly the entire place turned ink black. Japanese feudal-style armored statues softly appear into sight.  
  
"We just HAD to go this way, huh? Couldn't we have just stayed in the kitchen with the foooood!?" Kento whined to Rowen, who was ready to armor up.  
  
"Shuttap. Let's armor up. Something's not right..."  
  
"Well DUH! There's a buncha statues THAT JUST HAPPEN TA APPEAR FROM NOWHERE!" Kento was officially freaking out.  
  
"Armor of Strata! Tao Inochi!" Rowen bellowed.  
  
"Ok FINE! Armor of Hard Rock! Tao gi!"  
  
The two stood back to back once they noticed the statues had surrounded them completely. Rowen's slowly unhooked his bow and removed it from his back while Kento had no clue what was going on. As usual.  
  
The statues became solid as a voice appeared. Well not appeared. More like invisibly arrived. Like a voice would. Or something. Yeah. "Prepare yourself!!"  
  
Rowen looked confused for once. "What the hell? Since when do we have a narrator?"  
  
"I am NOT a narrator. Do I SOUND like Walter Kronkite to you?" the voice responded.  
  
Kento looked around at the empty sky, as if he expected to see some guy in a John Deere Hat in the clouds with a megaphone. "Then who are you?"  
  
":ahem: THE VOICE."  
  
Rowen scowled. "Well how come you warned us now but in the 70,000 times we've been attacked before, you didn't say a word!? HUH!?"  
  
THE VOICE, obviously startled, went silent for a moment. No one had ever defied THE VOICE. "I don't have to answer that," it finally said stubbornly.  
  
Before Smart-Ass Rowen got in another word, THE VOICE's prediction cam true and of all peeps, Dais burst through one of the statues. Caught off guard, the duo ran towards him, but as they did, two more Daises...Daisi...(GODDAMIT. THE PLURAL FORM OF DAIS INSERT HERE) exploded from two other statues. A shocked Rowen turned to try to fight them off while Kento slammed his staff across the first one's shoulder. More Warlords of Illusions came from all the statues and soon both Ronins had way too much to handle.  
  
"They've cloned him!" Kento yelled unintelligently from across the garden.  
  
A loud sigh soared across the loud fights. "Kento it's an illusion! Only one of them is really Dais! We gotta find out which!"  
  
"Mind if I ask HOW THE HELL DO WE DO THAT?!"  
  
Rowen shoved Dais #23 out of his way and pushed his back to the wall. "DUCK!"  
  
Kento immediately hit the ground, tripping a few Daises for the hell of it on the way, and covered his helmet.  
  
"ARROW SHOCK WAVE!"  
  
The entire vicinity burned with a blue light, nearly shaking the ground. When the familiar sonic boom faded, Kento looked up to see only one Dais on one knee.  
  
"NOW KENTO!" Rowen yelled.  
  
Kento leapt up and ran towards Dais at unawares. "Go find Ryo!" he managed to yell right before he slammed into Dais' chest. The ground suddenly opened up beneath their feet and the duo began to fall. Kento clutched Dais like a ragdoll as they fell.  
  
"FUUUUUUCKK!!" was the last thing Rowen heard from Kento's mouth before his buddy was gone from sight. He knew he couldn't linger there, so he wished Kento well and took off running through the convenient new door in the wall he created seconds earlier.  
  
~~~  
  
"I SWEAR we passed this crack in the wall before... I think we're lost," Cye stated to his dark haired companion.  
  
"No we aren't."  
  
"Yes we bloody are!"  
  
Ryo bristled. "Dude! We so are not!" Just to act even more childish, he crossed his arms and snapped his head away from Cye. Only to see the words 'Ryo was here' carved into a doorframe. Shit.  
  
Cye rolled his eyes and snatched the booklet out of fictional pocket-like slit in Ryo's armoured torso and flipped through the coupons for snack food until he came to the map of the castle. It's a good thing Cye taxed it from the information kiosk at the entrance of the castle or they would have been really screwed. Like they haven't been wandering around hallways for hours... psht, men. "Ok, we passed the waterslide and the carousel... so we're about... here!" he announced triumphantly, pointing to a spot on the map.  
  
Unbeknownst to the Ronins, but they were currently located at a designated trap zone. Those Netherworld fiends didn't even mark it on the map... crafty buggers.  
  
Anyways...  
  
Ryo and Cye continued walking, with a small bit of false reassurance, when they came upon THE HALL OF DOORS. And just to piss on their corn flakes even more, the corridor behind them was now blocked by a wall, so they couldn't get back to where they were.  
  
"Ah shit," Cye murmured, wondering what they should do. Well, I mean, they obviously KNEW they had to try to doors, but they didn't want to, and so they were caught in this procrastination thang... like when you know you have to study for an exam but 'Clean Sweep' is on TV, and you have that package of crescent rolls in the freezer and people are messaging you in MSN...  
  
~Neo: Get on with it Lag.  
  
Lagomorph:.... sorry~  
  
Ryo reached for the first door on his left and paused. Suddenly, THE VOICE appeared again.  
  
THE VOICE: "Our two heroes are trying to find their friends, but have come across the treacherous HALL OF DOORS. To get through you need to 'Break on through'..."  
  
"Oh shut the hell up!" Ryo burst out in annoyance.  
  
"FINE THEN, FUCKERS! I was just gonna tell ya how to get out of here, but you two can just go screw some llamas!" and with that, THE VOICE went silent.  
  
Cye groaned and shot an acid glare at Ryo. "Great..."  
  
Also feeling incredibly screwed, Ryo shook his head and turned the doorknob.  
  
"FRESH MEAT!"  
  
::SLAM::  
  
"Holy shit...I think I just crapped my pants..." Ryo heaved, leaning heavily against the door, which he just slammed into a large demon with a blood-stained apron.  
  
Cye cautiously opened a door on the other side of the hall. A thunderous roar rushed to their ears and Cye peered in. A wide field, littered with dead bodies (of humans and... unhuman things), rubble and small fires. Oh yeah, and there was a huge-ass war going on against some sort of castle. Suddenly, a loud chant echoed through the populace. "GROND. GROND. GROND..."  
  
::SLAM::  
  
Ryo went for another door and opened it. To his surprise, no demons were there! In fact... there was... talking... food. An old looking celery with a moustache and a pirate hat turned towards him. "Let the sillyness begin!" In a singsong voice, he (presumably) began. "Veggie Ta..."  
  
Ryo rolled his eyes "No time for you , fruitcake!"  
  
"I'm a VEGETABLE! Not a FRUIT!" a tomato protested.  
  
::SLAM::  
  
Cye, judging by the turn of events that it was now his turn, opened a door. A blast of black snow fluttered into the hall. Cye took a deep breath and looked in. A large flying machine was hovering in the air inside the room, producing the black snow. Suddenly a thing came running towards Cye. It looked like a two-headed robot...  
  
"I am Multi-Bot."  
  
"AHHHH!"  
  
::SLAM::  
  
Ryo and Cye, now feeling frantic and VERY frightened, began pulling open doors, but every door they opened was just bad scary things... like being in Bowser's dungeon (oh yes, the bridge over lava), or even worse, the Ottawa Senators dressing room.  
  
Finally, after hours of door slamming, they came to the end of the HALL OF DOORS. Two doors remained. The door on the left had a piece of cheap paper towel taped to it, with the words "THE WRONG WAY" written in blood. The door on the left had a mahogany plaque on it with a frilly gold pattern around the edges, and with perfect calligraphy, had "The Right Way" etched into it.  
  
Ryo shot his arm out, preventing Cye from advancing towards "The Right Way". "Using logical deduction, my dear Cye, I have thus discovered that which is seems right, cannot obviously be right, and therefore is wrong. So you see, that exit is 'The Wrong Way'. Therefore, I conclude that 'The Wrong Way' is actually the right way." He then nonchalantly pulled out a pipe from that non-existent pocket and took a long pull. Then choked his lungs out. What an idiot.  
  
Cye raised an eyebrow "...then again, you always say "elementary"... and you were never really good in elementary school, were you Ryo?"  
  
"...shuttup Cye..." Ryo muttered, and, ripping the paper towel off the door, opened it.  
  
This room appeared to be an office, and to their astonishment, had two figures chatting in it, facing each other and sitting perpendicular to the door. One was an older man with an accent and the other one was.... Cale?!  
  
The old man thoughtfully scratched his chin. "Vell, vat you should do iz quite simple." Cale leaned forward in anticipation, waiting for the old man to continue. "Kill you father and marry your mother."  
  
Cale's face went blank. "What?! All I wanted to know was what I should do about my cake that was eaten!"  
  
"Cale, do you not zee? The cake zat was eaten is symbolic of the lust you have for your mother."  
  
"... well ok." Cale snapped around when he heard the distinct sound of two people giggling. It was Ryo and Cye! He had to kick their asses before anyone found out about this... Dais still hasn't let him forget about that 'thing' that went on between him and Flossy the playful sheep.  
  
Cye stopped giggling just in time to see Cale lunge at them. Noting the murder in his opponent's eyes, he drew his trident and leapt in front of Ryo, blocking Cale's swords. "Ryo! Take the other door and find the others! I'll hold this 'Momma's boy' off!" Cye called back, trying hard not to crack a smile.  
  
Ryo nodded and dashed off (through the right door this time) and hence exited the HALL OF DOORS.  
  
...To be continued! 


End file.
